Where to start

Hi there

I can be socially anxious and, as with me, it might be the case that social anxiety is behind your addiction.

I note your saying you can't go to GA because of your anxiety. Part of the problem with social anxiety and addiction is buying into these self limiting thoughts we have.

There's a downward spiral. We avoid socially challenging situations. Yes we avoid some potentially difficult feelings which arise from a socially challenging situations. But we become more isolated and less skilled socially. Therefore we become even more disinclined to be sociable. Our world's become very small.

Social anxiety is generally a sign that you care greatly about connecting with others (but also have an equally great fear of rejection). And so the ultimate need is to 'lean into' what you fear - by doing stuff like attending GA.

But I appreciate these are early days and you need to take immediate steps to stop the loss of blood. You could consider individual therapy.

Most importantly you need to open up about your addiction. I was the exact same as you and a completely, 100% secret gambler. I plucked up the courage to tell my partner. This, and posting here, were in hindsight the 2 key things and I haven't gambled for 4.5 years now.

I know for a secret gambler, disclosure is terrifying. But the response from people was much better than I expected. And if you read around you'll see that positive reception is a common theme when people open up.

Oh, and obviously put barriers in place (lots of info about that if you read around).

Best wishes

Louis

Hi Jm987,

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story here.

Much as you said you suffer from social anxiety, you’ve taken a step in the right direction by posting into the forum. So well done on that! I hope you continue to post and read too from this forum. You’d be able to find a lot of strategies that you can put in place to help control your problematic gambling, and eventually stop.

With gambling online, it’s always advisable to install a blocking software to stop you from being able to gamble. Perhaps you’d like to check on our recommended software, which will stop you from accessing gambling sites. They stop you in your tracks!

The software are:- Gamblock, Betfilter, Net Nanny and Gamban. Please read about all of them first, and then install the one you think would provide you with the maximum benefit. They’d cost you some money, but that is nothing as compared to the amount you’d be losing if you don’t install one.

Some of our callers have also mentioned a free blocker called – K9 has been useful to them. Maybe you can also have a look at it if you wish.

It’s important that you keep yourself occupied with activities/ hobbies to distract you from gambling, and also to stop you from being bored.

Since you find it difficult to do activities in groups, you can call our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of advisers. Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.

An adviser can refer you to 12 sessions of free counselling, and nearest to where you live. They’d also be able to discuss into more details with you regarding your gambling problem, let you know what your options are, and provide you with more detailed support , really.

I advise that you stay in touch with us so we can find out how you are getting on with your recovery, and offer you the support that you need.

My best wishes to you, and please keep posting!

Regards,

Beatrice