Good morning everybody.
there will be little to no structure to this post so I apologise in advance.
i suppose I am just searching for some advise, ever since I have gambled I have suffered with anxiety about the lies, since being gamble free since Friday of last week my anxiety levels have gone through the roof.... My only thought process is that I don't have the thoughts of "d**n just lost again" etc to occupy my mind so I am now concerned about my lies coming out.
I feel I am constantly on edge anybody who texts me is going to know my dark secret of gambling, I have told one or two close friends but I have developed paranoia that they have been telling others about it.... I know this seems minor but does this ring home with others?
i feel I should be happier that I have gone my longest spell without gambling for 2 years yet I am on edge that I could ruin a new relationship if she find out.
.............
Thank you for your kind words.
I do feel ashamed, but that isn't going to get me anywhere. I suppose it's time to roll up my sleeves, have a long hard look in the mirror and let the truth out.
Hi Dannnyyyy - I relate to your feelings - nothing to be ashamed about. The longer you go without gambling, the easier the anxiety will become and the paranoia should completely disappear. It's all about patience in the first instance and abstinence therafter.
The anxiety is probably there now that you don't have gambling available to hide behind anymore. It's OK to feel regret at our actions but don't use it to compare yourself negatively to others. Nearly everyone has their own issues and secrets.
Hi Dannnyyy
I am a recovering CG.
The reason you are "on edge" is because you are hiding your gambling problem from your partner. You are naturally worried about her reaction. I think your partner deserves to know now before the relationship develops any further. Honesty is always the best policy with a recovering gambler. You cannot build a relationship on a lie.
Best wishes
If you're in a new relationship and your gambling hasn't impacted your partner then personally I wouldn't tell her as 1, hopefully it's in the past so why freak her out and 2. It's a bit heavy for a new relationship anyway so it may well make her run a mile - for example has it got to the point of discussing what you each earn, sharing bills etc. If not then I wouldn't even consider it.
Personally my partner is unaware of the massive debt I'm in, but I have an automatic transfer across of money for bills etc on payday so it's never impacted day to day existence despite it being ridiculously out of control for years, I've never touched the joint money I've just blown and borrowed it all on my own. So I don't think that's being deceitful etc as likes to get banded around about CGs.
You need to make your own call about who you tell but if you have confided in some there's there's always a danger of it reaching your other half in which case you may want to bite the bullet.
Hi Dannnyyyyy, welcome to recovery 🙂 & congratulations on your 1st 5 days! You may want to check out Mr Brightside's exit post on the 2014 challenge as it gives good insight into telling partners!
Sorry tool but I happen to disagree with you, just because you have only chucked away your own money doesn't make it fair on your partner!
I think your new partner needs to know! Being a CG means that we will always be in recovery & now is the time for complete honesty because you only need to glance @ the family & friends threads to see how totally devastating this can be for people! If she is right for you, she will stick around & support you on the journey! Roll those sleeves up, we're rooting for you!
You can do this - ODAAT
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