Do you still try and gamble?

I don't, however I wouldn't trust myself to head into town with a load of cash. I don't even trust myself to drive past a bookies with cash or cards in my wallet.

I know in previous attempts to quit I would sometimes play the free versions of card games just to while away time- this despite racing & sports being 98%+ of my gambling habit. A case of "look at what you could have won".

Perhaps add one of the software blocks (Gamban) on all your devices.

No pretending that some days it is just plain hard.

We have spent a long time gambling and put it before family and work and life itself.

We need to break the cycle and change our mindset (counseling ?, GA ?)

Hi holycrosser,

Thank you for opening up this interesting topic.

In the early part of my recovery I found myself doing this and I believe it was because I still had desire to be in action rather than checking to see if I was actually banned from all sites. 

My journey in recovery has been very much focussed on my perception/relationship with myself and also how I interact with other people/life events. I found my gambling desire was driven by my emotional state and discontentment. The tools I learnt and continue to use keep me emotionally balanced so that the need to escape/gamble is no longer required. 

For the last few years I've had access to cards and cash but had no desire to gamble but this would not have been possible for the first 5yrs of my journey.

Kind regards.

I've tried to do it a couple of times, Ive put it down to idle curiosity but wonder if the blocks weren't in place if I'd relapsed.

I simply have no logic to why I even attempted it whatever the motive was.is my mind not willing to let go of the evil that is gambling?

Its trying to pull me back, I've no reason to gamble now, I know my path, a path I have to stay on.

Its food for thought and a big reminder you never beat this.

Thanks for the replies 

Hi Holy 

When I have tried to stop in the past I did this a lot. But I found once I confirmed  I couldn’t sign up to anywhere I kept on looking like a crazy woman for somewhere I could.

for me it was still the addict in me and I relapsed over and over again. 

We will always have it in us holy but that doesn’t mean you are bad for doing this, or that you are due for a relapse. Think of it as part of your journey and thank god the blocks are in place to keep you safe. 

You are an inspiration and add so much value here. 

Interesting topic.

I still find myself going onto a bookies website quite regularly. I don't know why I do it. I have no intention of gambling, I've never tried to log in (can't anyway thanks to gamstop), I've never tried to open a new account. I just scroll through looking at odds of footy matches, golf etc. Funnily enough it dosent even set off any urges.

Like I say I have no idea why I find myself doing it. There's no logic to it. Boredom maybe? Not sure

Posted by: Liveinhope35

Hi Holy 

When I have tried to stop in the past I did this a lot. But I found once I confirmed  I couldn’t sign up to anywhere I kept on looking like a crazy woman for somewhere I could.

for me it was still the addict in me and I relapsed over and over again. 

We will always have it in us holy but that doesn’t mean you are bad for doing this, or that you are due for a relapse. Think of it as part of your journey and thank god the blocks are in place to keep you safe. 

You are an inspiration and add so much value here. 

 

Thank you for the kind words.we are all here to support and share experiences. Keep fighting

Posted by: Gareth1983

Interesting topic.

I still find myself going onto a bookies website quite regularly. I don't know why I do it. I have no intention of gambling, I've never tried to log in (can't anyway thanks to gamstop), I've never tried to open a new account. I just scroll through looking at odds of footy matches, golf etc. Funnily enough it dosent even set off any urges.

Like I say I have no idea why I find myself doing it. There's no logic to it. Boredom maybe? Not sure

Yep this is exactly what I'm on about.i do it every now and again for no apparent reason, I think because I've done it for 30 years my mind just wont let go.

My plan is settled but as CG we are impatient always.

I signed up for Gamstop about 6/7 months ago. Isn’t it just fantastic. I have tried to register on new sites a couple of times but to no avail. Literally then forgot about it and moved on. That’s the whole idea of it and you can bask in the sunshine of having registered with Gamstop which prevents any further disasters. Add on the reduction to £2 a spin on the FOBT roulette which now makes them totally futile to play (were anyway) and life is good. 

There is absolutely no reason why everyone can’t register with Gamstop. Of course there’s still other avenues open to gamble but Gamstop closes one of the huge ones. 

Hi

The blocks we put up are only a temporary thing.

In time we need to be emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards all forms of gambling and all forms of obsessions.

By being resentful is about our healing our selves.

Our resentments tell us we are not healing from the pains of our past.

My unhealthy reactions in anger, resentments, impatience intolerance, jealous, envy, rage, lack of trust, guilt shame regret remorse penance person pleasing vengeance mistrust self worth low self esteem indicate that I am not fully healthy and not at serenity with myself today.

In time I would open up in the recovery program, I would open up to counseling talking about every conscious memory of my past.

What is happiness, for me happiness is being content with who I am today, who I am with today, where I am and what I have today.

Money was never going to buy happiness.

Money was never going to heal my hurt inner child. My control issues were fear based.

My impatience intolerance was an indicator that I was hard and cruel on myself.

Was I a victim in my life, yes for sure.

Was I a perpetrator in my life, yes for sure. What stopped me from being a victim, it was the ability for to be able to speak up for myself from a place of peace.

What stopped me from being a perpetrator, I no longer want to hurt myself or other people in any way today, I no longer want to adversely affect myself or another person today.

My conscience is based up on spiritual values, yet I am a non religious person today.

I use to say that I wanted justice, sadly that was not true, I was wanting vengeance to transfer my pains fears and frustrations on to other people.

That was very unhealthy for me and other people. 

How much time and effort am I willing to invest in to my recovery today. The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was a very emotionally vulnerable person.

Do I escape in any other way today. For me the recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, is not about who is good or bad, it is for me about myself becoming a healthier person emotionally, becoming a healthier person who respects all spiritual values, non religious of course.

I am not able to respect other people until I am able to respect myself, I am not able to love other people until I am able to love myself, I asked my wife Shirley what is love she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally.

Before my recovery my actions and my words were conditional, once in my recovery I got to understand that my unreasonable expectations caused pains up on myself, only once I reduce my expectations and gave of myself unconditionally then I would stop hurting myself and causing myself pain.

Am I afraid to face myself in any way today, Do I react in unhealthy ways today, or do I interact in healthy ways today.

Because of the anger conflict control and intimidation in my child hood I internalized how other people felt, almost like I was responsible for how they were feeling, just because I gave up gambling did not stop me internalizing other people emotional baggage.

I did karate for two only to understand that I enjoyed the physical fighting, what I had big issues with were aggression and confrontation, yet often I was the instigator of aggression and confrontation, did I learn bullying from my parents.

Today I understand that my control issues were fear based.

Today I understand that my money issues were fear and control based.

Money was never going to make me feel successful in myself, money just gave me more choices of things to buy or places to go, before my recovery I use to take my own worst enemy with me. Myself.

The recovery program was going to help me help myself become healthier and productive.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Posted by: DaveUK

I signed up for Gamstop about 6/7 months ago. Isn’t it just fantastic. I have tried to register on new sites a couple of times but to no avail. Literally then forgot about it and moved on. That’s the whole idea of it and you can bask in the sunshine of having registered with Gamstop which prevents any further disasters. Add on the reduction to £2 a spin on the FOBT roulette which now makes them totally futile to play (were anyway) and life is good. 

There is absolutely no reason why everyone can’t register with Gamstop. Of course there’s still other avenues open to gamble but Gamstop closes one of the huge ones. 

I agree.its saved me on occasions