I'm so done with gambling and even more so the excuses. This is it, I'll never do this to myself again. I'm so lucky that I have been able to work myself out of debt, I remember a time, owing everyone money. The shame, humilation. I wished I was dead. Thought being debt free would be like a 2nd shot at life.
I got there, and now I'm gambling again. Just lost my entire salary on a roulette machine. This madness stops here, this moment has to be the turning point.
No more excuses. I am so much better than this. It stops today!
I am with you!! I am constantly telling myself that I am going to stop!! I am stopping with you! We can do this!
Be strong. I am struggling but am more determined than ever to stop. We are always after the quick fix and the whole emotional thing takes hold.
As you said you have done the hardwork so well done!! Put this down as a blip.
Walked past the bookies this lunch time, tempted to walk in. "Just £20" thoughts running through my head again.
Reminded myself that it has never ever stopped at just £20. Will not be any different, besides even if I win. £100, £1000, £5000. It will only mean I will lose it tenfolds and wreck my life again like I've always done after every big win.
That was enough to get me through. Day 1 - survived first encounter.
Walked past the bookies this lunch time, tempted to walk in. "Just £20" thoughts running through my head again.
Reminded myself that it has never ever stopped at just £20. Will not be any different, besides even if I win. £100, £1000, £5000. It will only mean I will lose it tenfolds and wreck my life again like I've always done after every big win.
That was enough to get me through. Day 1 - survived first encounter.
Why do anything that risks putting me back there? That's beyond stupid.
Day 2. Few random thoughts about trying to win my money back. Reminded myself even if I win it would mean I'm a gambler. And as a gambler I will always eventually lose everything.
Booked into a nice restaurant to catch up with some friends. Been to the gym. Overall I'm feeling happier, must remain focused though.
Remind myself that I earn good money and don't need gambling to afford nice things. Remind myself of a time I was owing 10's of thousands to family friends, selling my laptop, payday loans the lot.
Day 2 - 🙂
Day 3 - gamble free 🙂
starting to feel hopeful
Well done. Keep doing it mate.
Excellent narrative. Please continue.
' "Just £20" thoughts running through my head again.' .. Yeah... it's like there's an unwelcome visitor talking inside you. My perspective: you can't make him leave, can't always make him shut up, but you can tell him "you're not in charge here, and your idiot ideas are not going to be respected"
After, thinking about posting today to tell people how great life was I got a free £20 bet from p********r sent to my phone, this led to playing, £100, £300, £500. Then gave up and went to the casino and lost everything. £3700 by the time I counted the recipts.
Totally upset, but I have to try and use this as a positive, now I know that these free bets are a trigger too and have to cancel them by sending a text asking to remove me. Totally broke till payday, and back as a gambler. Feel like crying but I've been here before lots of times, I know feeling sorry for yourself does nothing. Have to be stronger, much more stronger than I am to beat gambling. There's no hope otherwise.
Day one 🙁
I think we've all been there. I had thousands in savings and gambled it all away. Now thousands in debt due to chasing those lost £20 bets. We can do it though. My triggers are now even the £2 accumulators which lead to losing thousands! You can get through this!
The long road begins again today, I have to drill into me that I am the most weakest when I think I'm in control. It can be done, my life improved in such a huge way within a week of staying away. Why I went back is madness, I can do this again. Lost all the money I had but not in debt. I remember being in debt, in a major way. Constantly try to remind myself I will never ever go back there again.
You said in another thread you had come into some money and been able to pay off your debt. You've basically been given a second chance that most on here would dream of - don't mess it up. Go back to square one - self exclude, limit access to money, anything.
This is why we have the term "guard up". Because people who do not have your best interests at heart will try to harm you.
A "free bet" is an attempt to harm you. They won't "remove you". They won't put you on a "no call list". They will continue to try to harm you. They are predators. Lions don't put antelopes on the "no call list". They continue to hunt the antelopes because they are hungry. The gambling site is hungry. For your cash.
The instant you receive text, email, snail mail, etc from any gambling vendor, you delete it. You don't need to read it. It only has one message: "Hello. We want to harm you."
The instant any trigger comes into view, delete it. Guard. Up.
Day 8 - gamble free, payday Friday but I have money in the account so it's not like I've not gambled cause I have no money. The sadness/regret/anger at losing £3700 on my last relapse has vanished. Now is when the "just £150 and I'll stop" feeling kicks in. This time however I'm better prepared, and watching out for triggers.
Happy place, from here it will only get better aslong as I don't ruin it for myself, remind myself of this every time I think about gambling. Have a good day everyone, and hopefully a gamble free day.
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