gamble to lose not win

After seeing your post, i thought "that sound like something i would say"...

To be honest, when your a compulsive gambler you are never happy with a small win, so you chase a big win. Then you start losing, its inevitable. As the losses get bigger, you chase them.

I used to think that i gamble to lose, the truth is we can handle the losing as we are all too familiar with the feeling of despair. As lemmy from motorhead says, "the pleasure is the play".

Gambling is enjoyable, for those that do not have a problem. I am doing my best to stop gambling, i cancelled online gambling account, i don't go into town alone and i research the problem. Put up as many barriers as you can think of.

paul

Paul - you can gamble for that big win but when you get it then you'll feel it's skill (not luck) so continue. It will only reinforce you to lose loads more than everything. A huge amount is never enough.

Ecky,

I think you have described the experience shared by a certain percentage of us.

What percentage?

100

I hit a decent win last week and all that I done was upped the stakes and continued till it was gone. Really don't know what I'm chasing tbh. Is enough ever enough to win or lose?? If I was ever to hit a fortune it would probably be the worst thing that ever could happen as I know my addiction would be even more out of control as it is now. When I say this it should be a no brainer to wake up and smell the coffee and stop but we all know it's not that easy and only us with the addictions are the only ones who understand.

It sounds like you have evaluated the circumstances well. You may have reached a point where quitting is a good option. If you feel that is the case, the readers here will support you in that effort.

Understatedly,

Dogfan.

I'm in the process of excluding from every site I can access on my mobile it is a long boring job but feel if the temptation is taken away then it will help me on my Road to recovery but I always seem to find one I'm not excluded from if I look hard enough and it only takes one site to lose hundreds. I need to beat this and take control.

Hi Mate.

I do understand what you mean about chasing the loses and even when you get a big win, you still blow it... so whats the point. I once won 12,500. It was a miracle that I cashed out and a day later it sat in my Bank account. Apart from the initial happyness and relief that I felt about it, it didnt continue. I vowed it had been my last bet and told myself i would now exclude from the site. I remembered all the stories i had read about people blowing big wins. I had always wanted to stop gambling on a high. Even though 12.5k was only a small percentage of what i lost over the years, i determined that that was going to be the catalyst for me to stop. I was going to treat myself and buy nice new things for my house.. but when i went to the shops i just couldnt seem to spend any of it. I haggled over everything, couldnt make up my mind.. and unbelievably worried about the cost. Im the most impulsive person.. if i want something i generally buy the 1t one i see in the 1st shop i go to.. so something was wrong. Fact was, I just couldnt bring myself to spend this money on myself. It was guilt and shame and the feeling i just did not deserve it. In fact the only couple of hundred i managed to spend was gifts for other people. After about a week of holding onto this money, and instead of self excluding i went back on, and lost it all.. and then a few thousand more. It was devastating, but i think i always knew i was going to do it. You see its not actually about the money. Its the thrill and excitement of the chase. The risk and the danger. I have destroyed myself so many times its like Im doing it deliberately. Almost like i want to see who cares. Who loves me. If i throw myself in the river... who will jump in and save me? crazy huh.

The only way to tackle this is you must find out why you do it. Knowledge is power. gambling leaves such an empty hole in our lives once we stop.. because we had this secret life and spent hundreds of hours doing it. We dont know what to do with ourselves after. Let alone the loss of adrenaline. You need to find something to fill the hole. many gamblers end up relapsing out of boredom.

Write everything down in your diary, all your thoughts and feelings. good and bad. learn your triggers your moods your successes. Only by reading back my diaries did it end up making sense to me. Be honest. Lie to as many people as you like, but dont dare lie to yourself. We are such brilliant liars we can actually convince ourselves of our own lies. Write it all down. read other CG's diaries. empower yourself

All the best mate.

BE POSITIVE. STAY STRONG. JUST BREATHE

Kyle

The greatest win I will ever have is to learn I can never win gambling

very wise words Kyle.

I can totaly relate to the the feeling of sitting on winnings, and knowing that i wouldnt be able to sleep until they were gone.

The only way we can move on is by vowing not to gamble and to stay away for good.

I'm slot free for 4 days now, I'm determined tomorrow will be day 5. I've known for a while I've had a problem and convinced myself after every session I've lost that that's it no more I've had enough, life would be so much easier if we could bottle up these feelings and go back to them just to remember how it was we felt after a losing session but those feelings get lost with time and it's too easy to forget until you gamble again and lose and then your reminded . It's the most vicious of circles. I'm not saying one addiction is better than another but at least if you were addicted to drink or drugs you might have a good story to tell one day. All my stories will be Sat in the house deposited hundreds of pounds hit a button and lost all my money. Worst addiction ever!!!

I know that feeling mate, I don't even consider winning anymore, I fully accept that when I start to gamble I won't stop until I've lost everything....yet I still can't stop myself

I know the feeling too, I had won £10000 a few years ago and immediately cashed out, it was one of those sites that wait three days before confirming withdrawals. Three days for a gambling addict is too long to wait and the temptation was getting too great. At first is was just £100 on slots to pass the boredom, two hours later the whole lot was gone. Five years later not spending a penny on gambling, I subscribed to site which guarantees you win money. I had made over £6000 in 6 months but the buzz of gambling wasn't there the thrill of the win/ disappointment of the loss wasn't present. So ultimately gambling and greed took over and 6 months worth of hard work was gone within 2 days plus a further £3000 on top. I have the mindset that I cannot win no matter what and if I won a million I wouldn't be happy and would find a way to lose it all.