Gambling and Depression

Absolutely...Mine took a bit longer than you but I understand now that the reason for it is gambling was a mask...It was anaesthetising my thoughts & my pain & allowing me to live a life that seemed ok. Looking back now though, it really wasn’t. Like taking tablets when I have a bad back...Whilst they are in my system, if feels fine, I can do stuff, pretend I don’t need physio but once they wear off, I struggle to turn my head to even drive.

I’m not sure I ever reached the stage of depression but I became less & less motivated, began spending longer & longer in bed & cried way more than usual. GA was a game changer for me & now when I have low days, firstly, I know they’re going to pass & secondly, I have people I can reach out to, ask questions of, see how they cope because people there get it. They haven’t just typed a few posts saying how determined they are to try everything to get clean but then justify why x, y & z won’t work for them & carry on the way they always have, they are going to meetings, working programs, doing what it takes to a) stay clean & way more importantly b) deal with whatever stuff life throws @ them without turning to a machine or drink or drugs or whatever their chosen poison is. I thought I gambled because I enjoyed it, to get rich, would have & did fight anyone & everyone that suggested otherwise but I kept an open mind to doing whatever it took to stay off of a bet & have done so. As a result, I have a new found calmness that I never knew was missing & no longer walk around with fists clenched. Abstaining wasn’t enough for me to feel better, not after the initial euphoria.

Congratulations on your first 9 weeks...I hope you keep fighting & find you way through - ODAAT

Hey ODAAT, thank you for your response.

I attended GA on a weekly basis for about 4 months, strangely enough when I stopped gambling though I had stopped attending meetings. I definitely found some support and comfort from the meetings and the people I met there but ultimately decided it wasn't really for me for a number of reasons.

I think my main problem is that i'm only able to deal with one of my problems at a time. I saw the most important thing to be to stop the gambling as I was getting to the point where the damage I would do to my life and my girlfriend and my families life would get harder and harder to repair. However that comes at the cost of me burying all my other problems to the back of my mind.

I expected that once I stopped gambling and having urges that everything else would magically get better but I now see how foolish that was.

Thanks for your kind words

For me depression was worse when I stopped. Over last few months it is better, more positive than I was when gambling online. I think the lack of dopamine can bring us down to start with.

This is completely normal to happen. Gambling is escapism, and when done compulsively it is to escape the feeling of the present moment. When we stop and no longer can turn to it to solve our general malaise. The feelings that we were escaping from become ever present in our lives. We all have gambling problems but a lot of the time gambling is just a cover up for something deeper that is going on.

This is what it means in step 1 of the recovery program when it says "that our lives had become unmanageable". The unmanageability is what happens, and the longer the underlying condition goes untreated the likelyhood is the anxiety, tension, misery, depression, uselessness appears more prominent in our lives. Making it unmanageable and unliveable.

This is what I found and im not saying for one second that your depression is a direct result of gambling, I dont know your life situation at all. Only from what you have described, but i can speak from my own experience and this is what i noticed. When i stopped i was thinking "f me... I was better off when i was gambling" I couldn't handle to live with the anxiety and depression normal life gave me, despite the renewed hope of abstinence.

I wish you well.

B