managed a little over 6 months away from online casino and was feeling good in myself but defenitley taking my abstinence for granted
due to corona virus i have been told to work from home ......not something i am used too , and after completing my days work by mid afternoon yesterday i found myself watching you tube videos of gambling
i watched these for an hour or two and then thought it would be a good idea to see if i could still access an online casino ( most i am self banned from ) but i managed to find one on an old bet-unfair account
i deposit £50 and manage to lose it within 15 seconds on roulette , deposit another £100 that lasted about 30 mins as tables were high stakes
girlfriend comes home and is getting suspicious as to what i am up to on the laptop , she wants to go the gym before it gets closed down so we go there for an hour or so
we get home i open a beer and proceed to dump another £250 in ( even typing these amounts out is making me cringe this morning ) sure enough the balance begins to dwindle away and im starting to get a little bit concerned .....the deposits are getting bigger , thoughts are becoming more and more irrational and i am quickly descending into self destruct mode ....i had £1000 available balance in my account at the start of the day and £400 has already vanished in the blink of an eye
i take a breather and sat watching the cards come out i decide not to play for a few hands as i am down to my last £60 at this stage i realise it would take a ridiculous streak of good luck to get back to break even or yet another deposit
the dealer who is an Indian guy with a smarmy grin tries to convince me to play several times shouting my user name and saying come on come on your luck will change whilst continuously pulling blackjacks or high cards out for himself lol
somehow i managed a quick moment of clarity and a voice popped in my head and said "£350 down is better than £1000 down RUN"
i quickly typed in the live chat "im doing a runner" the look on the dealers face was quite funny probably the most entertainment i had all day
i withdrew my last £60 credit and proceeded to tell customer support they could impose a lifetime casino ban on the account once they've paid me
all in all a s**t day .......but a tiny victory in that i recognised i was quickly getting out of control i have no doubt that if this was last year the whole grand would have been done in
il now have to try and offset my losses over the course of April which will mean tightening my belt something ive not had to do at all over the last 6 months and definitely something i haven't missed
gambling is lethal for your self esteem
if anyone is thinking of having a punt today and wants to try their luck read this as its going to be your most likely outcome house always wins
Hey
Take a positive from it. Yes you spent more than you intended but it gets you like that. You made the decision to run which is good.
Spend 🙂
great post, there will be many in exactly the same position, at home, lots of time on hands, online lots, I hope they read this first and realise they can get themselves into a worse position which as we are in a tough climate at the moment gambling should be the last thing on our minds to do.... Well done for stopping when you did it definitely made a difference and now you can spend that on food over the coming months and if you lose your job its rainy day money!!!! all the best adam
I'm still locked out on chat are you Adam ?
Well done! You made the right decision. Sounds like your starting to learn something about your gambling problem and knowing when to quit. Like you say £350 down is better than £1000.
thanks for the responses guys
3 days on and i feel a little bit easier with everything going on in the world a couple hundred quid is the least of my worries
i had an email yesterday morning confirming my exclusion from bet- unfair so i wont be able to log on for the rest of this year
not that i am feeling any urges to chase the loss online as i realise i would just be increasing my idiot tax payment
stay strong
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