Hi I’m Dave and I’m 32. I’m new to this forum and this is my first post.
I’ve been gambling since as long as I can remember. It started off with playing the bandits in the arcades when I was around 11 years old. As I got older and could go into pubs I started playing bandits in the pubs. I would always go out with my friends but spend the majority of the night playing bandits and usually losing all my money.
Then I got to the age to be able to go into a bookies. I started off just doing a football bet for a pound on a Saturday. Then this became going in to play the roulette machines which started off as just £1 spins spending a maximum of £5. Before I knew it I was in bookies every day spending £300 which I would withdraw from my credit card. Now and again I would get a big win which would mean I would then bet larger stakes.
By the time I was 23 I had accumulated debts of £30k. I had a decent job and lived with my parents so all in all I reckon I had spent circa £70k on gambling.
My mum then found out about my debt and decided she would help me. She took out a loan for the £30k to pay off my debt but I would put the money in her bank each month. This would be the end of it right? Turns out not...
I now have a house with my fiancГ© and 3 beautiful kids but have been gambling excessively again for the last 3 or so years. My fiancГ© had no idea but again I have accumulated debts this time of around £20k. This along with my salary means I have probably spent another £50k. The gambling has mainly been roulette either online or in the bookies. I have tried to delete all online accounts but I end up opening more. I have tried not going into bookies but on my way home from work every night I pass at least five different bookmakers and can’t resist going in.
I’m getting to the end of the line now as I’m sick of gambling. I try my hardest not to do it but always fail. I can’t tell my fiancГ© as she would end our marriage before it’s even started plus it’s not the right time to tell her as she’s having some problems at the moment.
Just wondering if there’s any advice from people who have managed to stop gambling? Or if there is anybody in the same situation and what they’re planning on doing to overcome this?
Hi Dave
I can't really offer the best advice as i'm only on day 5 of my recovery (my weakness is online slots) but i'm sure there's a number you can call or something where you can get yourself excluded from all the bookies in your area ,someone else will probably be able to give you more info .Also you can get blocking software on your computer/phone to stop you accessing the online sites,one is called K9 and think there's also another one but cannot remember the name .Handing over your finances to your wife would also be a very good step but understand you're worried about telling her the situation you're in again .I think in time it would probably be best to try and come clean to her as there's always a chance she would find out which would then most probably be a lot worse .
I had managed to stop for nealy 2 years but find myself right back at the start 🙁 so can't really offer many words but i do know this you are in the right place and if you really want to stop then you need to be very commited and get all blocks in place .you will get lot's of help and support here and would be a good idea to start a diary and just jot down everyday how you are feeling .
I wish you lot's of strenght to kick this awful addiction .Take care Sunshine x
Hi Dave I'm wife of cg and know from experience that bailouts, help with debt etc don't work. I also know what it's like to live with a cg for 20 years with everyone lying to me. My husband says the only thing that stops him is him wanting to stop. Also GA. You have to be completely honest , you need support. Self exclusion, online software blocks, hand over finance. I handle all money, cash and receipts, change to the penny. No one can stop you, they can only support you emotionally. It's up to you. Lies always get found out, they feed addiction. They damage relationships. It sounds like handing over or not carrying cards and cash is what will help you. Ultimately it's up to you, get help from gamcare, go to GA. Help is there if you really want to stop. Take a day at a time. Be honest.
Thanks for your responses. It’s good to get other people’s virws especially from those going through something similar be it them or their loved ones.
Managed to go the full day without a bet... although don’t know whether that’s through choice or the fact I have no money until payday.
how has the last few days been dave?
Not good. Started gambling again. Spoke to an advisor on here who has given me a number to of a local company that will provide face to face help. When I get some time alone I am going to call. Not gambled today even though I’ve had plenty of opportunity
It really is hard to stop and you have to want to do it Dave. One of the things that got me back gambling after a 18 month gable free was worrying about debt. I’ve spoken to stepchange and they have sorted me a budget out and since doing this I’ve managed just over 2 months without gambling and barely even thought about it recently. Please speak to stepchange if you are worried about the debt. Also if you are doing your money by going in bookies there is a service where you can phone one number and they will exclude you from however many bookies you like all in one call.
Keep coming on here as well if that helps. Read people’s diaries, join a challenge thread. Whatever works for you.
Hope this helps. Take care.
Iain
Hi my name is shaun and im on the brink of ruining myself through gambling. Mainly online horses football and slots. Ive gambled for nearly 20 years. Im 35 years old. Every week i get paid i gamble. Ive got loans. Payday loans. Debt collecters chasing me every week im paying a loan or debt charge and then gamble the rest. Im 2 months behind on my mortgage. I have a partner and we have 3 children. If she knew the truth id be on my own. I want to stop gambling but dont see a way out. Im up to my kneck in debt and try to gamble to get out of it but sink further into trouble. Makes me hate myself and think everyone would be better off without me around.
Hi Dave,
I have just joined today and are pretty much going through the same situation so it would be good if we could both help each other out on our journey to become gamble free. The number to self exclude from all bookies is 0800 294 2060
Hi Dave and shauntill.
Welcome to the forum.
I will jump straight in and say its about a born again moment you need to be ready for. You need to sit down and start thinking about the real odds and what gambling is really all about. Its not an income scheme and its not a keep trying to get out of debt scheme. Its not a way to live on an ongoing basis and youve seen what its done to you
You thought you knew your mind yet gambling destroys the addicted and compulsive mind. We became addicts and you need to learn about that addiction including the medical books on the subject.
In ways its the worst of the addictions because the money can go so fast and there seems no end to it.
You say there is no way out but what is gambling doing for you....just misery that I can see. Its all coming back tomorrow is it.??...you all know that isnt true based on the odds.
Beating this addiction is about honesty and reaching out for all the help. Recovery is a journey buts it far better than spiralling downwards to new depths.
You are still around to enjoy life and debts can only be paid back at a level the citizens advice bureau will advise you on. You can have a better life when you face this and deal with being an addict.
There is no shame in admitting to an addiction. The question is are you now ready to stop completely and use blocks? Honesty is your friend here and telling people close is always recommended
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of control and serenity. I hope you will do whats needed to join us.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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