how do you all ..

Hi there, thank you for sharing.
I think any gambler who has found themselves in that horrible position of thinking of everything that could have been. I for one wish I still had all of the savings I had before I ever gambled, the nice cars, houses etc. I could have had. There is no point on dwelling, sulking, being moody about it - we are all to blame for our actions. The best thing to do is to walk away from the gambling and build any bridges at home. Allow yourself to mend from gambling, find something to do around the house, get into a hobby etc. There's no point sitting around and thinking about the what ifs, you deal with the NOW. Stay strong and hope all goes well.

Thats pretty much all round great advice , thank you will read every day to remind me.Knew not on own but nice to have reminder ,and that not alone with these crazy and damaging thoughts which hopefully will subside in time based on past experience.Im trying to face these thoughts this time , than let them control me and affect my mood and how i am.

like im accepting any i help can and taking seriously this illness/addiction.Along with accepting i will always be a compulsive gambler , and being totally honest and taking to ppl about it both on here and f2f.I wont let it be a secret anymore , where it can still thrive and weaken me , wont let it been there.

All the above a new outlook to combat this all round, hence question how  you all deal with thoughts.

I try to focus on the future. I think to myself that I can repay debts and replace savings (no matter how slowly) but i can't replace people and relationships. And that also means that nobody can replace me. I have to work on being the best version of me that I can be for my family and friends because they need me.

It is hard sometimes but it helps when you know you're not alone and there's support available to help in those tough moments. 

We are all meaning-making machines and we make sense of our present by the history of our past. You need to accept that first then it becomes easier to handle things. I would suggest that you try some fast tapping. I hope the admin will not mind but it is effective to calm that inner voice down fast. I will not pass links on here so write it down on a Youtube search and educate yourself on it. You can also try some breathing techniques to relax.  Take a slow breath in but pretend that you are breathing in through your heart then do the same on the exhale. You will soon see how relaxing that is.  There is a lot of help to be had out there and also here on the forum and helpline. You just need to start looking for a good match for yourself. Once you find it you will know.

hi some great ideas thank you all , am going to ga weekly and got beacon next week.Agree trying to quell /calm inner thoughts down is exactly what trying and need to do.Is true once find method or something that works , just matter of trying different things.Have started to exercise again , and colouring which helps lot too.

Will check out audiobooks and the allen carr one which seen mentioned also.Its about discipline and patience really and keeping up the good habits and any thoughts not dragging down and remember just thoughts no forever and not always reality even.When gave up for while last time i had good habits , need to have serious think how stopped for so long.Easier said than done , thanks again.

For me the self-esteem issues and being hard on myself with this inner critic that constantly told me I was never enough existed long before my gambling ever did.

My gambling was the solution to my self perception problem up until the consequences of gambling got too much to bear. 

It's been a really hard battle to live a life without gambling and other emotional dependencies such as food/drink, drugs, exercise, shopping, s*x or anything else that is mind altering enough to temporarily fix an inner problem. 

I spent my life going from one obsession to another whilst trying to justify it to myself. 

A damaged self is so hard to overcome once we become adults and the brain is less malleable.

Hi CIAK.

Its a complex issue which goes to the core of who you are. There may be things within you that you havent faced yet. Facing the truth is a good thing but its also hard as we are hardwired to hide our emotions especially when we were socially engineered at school to fit in, dont answer back and become a good little tax paying citizen and consumer unit.

Addiction is an illness so you dont have to loathe yourself for what you have done. We were offered an escape drug galled gambling. Its not surprising we tried it and believe me its not all our fault. 

Drinking, smoking and gambling are offered as escape fixes from the sham drudgery of life as we see it. Its no wonder people become hooked and we are simply not protected from it."It could be you" is a strong draw to people seeking kindness and answers...a simple fix

I am not the person I was then. I was highly addicted, very ill and I did not see the true picture

Im a complex person but consider myself a nice person. What I have never liked is the rat race and system we are forced to live in. I would have been quite happy finding myself and living in my own space without all the pressure that seems to be applied. I'm an anxious person with self esteem issues. I could deal with that on my own terms in my own environment...however send me to an institution like school or working in a rubbish office and its not going to go well for me.

You see we are taught to keep up withe the Joneses because it suits the capitalist agenda. Power and money become the gods because the people making the rules have power and money.

What I seek is peace of mind and spirituality but Ive never known how to do that because I was blinded to joining the rat race. Even opting out seems to cost lots of money these days . I was always too scared to travel and experience the fundamentals of life...but I have always been sold fear and control

As lockdown has proved...I dont live off  the land....my food arrives in a supermarket lorry....my freedoms seem to be the limited freedoms I am reluctantly given which can be taken away... I would actually like to feel free if you know what I mean.

I know gambling Isnt the answer to what I was seeking. It was a highly addictive drug to placate me  I see gambling as the sinister scam that it is. When you kick the drug you can focus on why you were vulnerable to it. The answers are within you.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

If I wasn't gambling, something would have led me here anyway. It was the desperation of money and get rich quick that lured me but gambling doesn't work that way. its not meant for you to win, its meant to get you addicted. That's why winners will be addicted and chase loses. As they are trying to play long-term, they lose more as the odds are against them.

I had to tell myself, its a losing investment and its destroying my mind and body. It taught me a lot of lessons. To exercise when I'm stressed, to forgive yourself and to learn to have self-control and not play against the odds, to have fun online without gambling (normal gaming like play-station). I am doing all this and listening to my body. I'm in a better place, with little to no thoughts of gambling.

I promised myself never to play against the house as its a losing investment. We live in a world of much distractions and people like me and you have been caught in it but, I have learned. I would tell myself and my future children, don't put your money in losing investments, go invest your money and time in something that is beneficial long term like getting a new job or fun social hobby. We are only in this world for a short time.

An thanks so much such great points all , tbh I managed 5 years g f on just willpower. I should really use this and think what helped to get bach into that mindset. Think as prev documented , relapsing last year has really set me back mentally. 

The answers are within you

Very true joyd ivider