My story is short but, I have been gambling for over a year now and about half a year ago I realised its getting out of control. I began to do some reasearch on how to stop, and then I watched so many terrible stories when people have been gambling for years, lost thousands of pounds, houses, families etc. I stopped and thought, nah this isnt me, I only gamble a little bit, I dont borrow, I would never gamble my house away… nevertheless I decided to self exclude from all the gambling webistes just in case - and this is when I realised I am having a big problem.
I have opened serveral accounts using my husbands details, I was depositing with my paypal - so he isnt aware of what I am doing, when I have run out of money I would transfer some from our joined account to my own… all very sensible, small amounts.. I began to think that I gamble not even to win, maybe beacuse I am bored? Maybe beacuse I am lonely? Husband always works, wakes up early, goes to bed early, I see him only few hours a day, I only work part time and spend 4 days out of 7 with our son at home… when they all go to bed I feel urge for gambling, it gives me some sense of happiness, I dont get angry when I lose, I feel happy when I win but I know this isnt a win, I will put this money and much more back in soon enough… gambling is an escape for me. I am so very aware how wrong it is yet I cant stop. I know I lost a lot of money but beacuse I am not in debt and I didnt tear my family apart I am kind of feeling I am not that bad… I want to stop, I want to do something in my spare time, I want to not think when I sit on the sofa when my baby is napping what casino I will use today. I want to change.
help.
Hi Lonelyloser
Thanks for posting on the forum. I'm sure you will get some great support from the community of forum users but if you feel you need some more help with giving up gambling please contact the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 and an adviser will be there to help and support you. You can also contact us by live chat and Whatsapp. Take care.
Kevin
Forum Admin
Hi Lonelyloser,
Well done on reaching out and recognising that this is a problem to you that you wish to change.
My gambling started out innocently and seemed very manageable in respect to the amounts and having no debt. Unfortunately due to addictive behaviour becoming progressive over time it's likely that it will have more dire consequences the longer this continues.
I totally understand the bored feeling that you mentioned in your post although I'm not female with a baby.
Do you think there are any emotional triggers that have come from pregnancy/having a baby that are driving your desire to gamble? I'm no expert in this field but professional help might help if you felt this could be the case.
Do you have close friends who are mums that you can connect with?
Addiction seems to thrive in isolation and companionship with others who you can relate to can oppress it.
Kind regards.
Hey,
This was exactly me, it started so small, hardly anything. Never borrowed, had no debt.
Within 6 months, I had taken out 2 loans, not massive but it was just to put some money back. Then another loan to pay off one loan, then a credit card (in my husband’s name) and another credit card and a even bigger loan. I set up a *** account in his name, attached his credit card he knew nothing about and would send money to my *** to use!!
Now, 2 years on, I’m in £45k worth of debt (all in my husband’s name) and now it’s hard to keep on top of it. I had my own debt (£25k) on top of this which I’m going through StepChange for, but the other amount has to be paid back as I would never forgive myself if it affected my husband’s credit history.
Gambling is an illness, and will get you at your weakest point, it will eventually take everything from you, if you don’t break the cycle.
Ring the helpline, just to chat.
Claire x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
