Humiliating

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 mel
(@iayzljw2t3)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

So tonight I decided to finally have the courage to go to my local bingo hall and self exclude myself. Well I wish I hadn’t of bothered.

to say I was humiliated is an understatement.

I was told to sign in which I didn’t want to do, I was then taken to one side in-front of lots of people who could clearly hear the manager speaking to me about my issues and asking questions about why I wanted to self exclude, this is exactly the reason why I have put it off for so long. I’m so upset I ended up walking out not even doing it. I went home and cried and actually feel worse for trying to do it. 

I felt I had turned a corner as I haven’t gambled in a few weeks and now I just feel like utter rubbish.

 
Posted : 19th May 2023 10:33 pm
lids19635
(@lids19635)
Posts: 200
 

The fact you walked into the bingo hall with the intention of self excluding tells me you are very strong and determined. Utter rubbish?, far from it, you have done something i never could. I would be so proud of myself for going into that place with the intentions you had. Humiliating?, maybe but i guarantee you there will be people in there that wish they had half the strength that you showed. So where do you go from here? Maybe have a think about the positives you possess and you certainly do there will be many people on here who wish they had your courage, me being one. Don`t judge yourself on one part of your life that you have a problem with, don`t let gambling define you. Stand tall it sounds to me like you made a very good decision, but the staff weren't up to it, you did the right thing they didn`t. Put down your plans in the diary of what you are going to do the next day , and at night tick off that you achieved them. You are doing well but part of this journey is learning how to deal with the type of people that you encountered today, it actually sounds like you did very well under very trying circumstances and with very trying people. Its a long journey so don`t let one hiccup divert your attention from the battle. 

Have a good think about things, you can and i am convinced will do this!!

This post was modified 1 year ago by lids19635
 
Posted : 19th May 2023 10:56 pm
(@q86r2ugj5p)
Posts: 1862
 

Hi

Thank you for showing the strength that you no longer wanted to gamble.

That is and was very powerful of you.

By doing such an action was you setting a healthy boundary for your self.

You have admitted to your self that you do not want or need to gamble again.

It is important to learn and understand our emotional triggers which caused me to go to gambling.

My pains that I could not heal.

My fears that I could not reduce or face.

My unreasonable expectations that I could not reduce.

My fears of loneliness that I could not reduce.

My feelings of boredom that I get rid of.

This was and is a very healthy step you did for your self.

In time as you get healthier you will fell less emotionally vulnerable.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

 
Posted : 20th May 2023 9:03 am
(@ebv83n2s0h)
Posts: 5
 
Posted by: @iayzljw2t3

So tonight I decided to finally have the courage to go to my local bingo hall and self exclude myself. Well I wish I hadn’t of bothered.

to say I was humiliated is an understatement.

I was told to sign in which I didn’t want to do, I was then taken to one side in-front of lots of people who could clearly hear the manager speaking to me about my issues and asking questions about why I wanted to self exclude, this is exactly the reason why I have put it off for so long. I’m so upset I ended up walking out not even doing it. I went home and cried and actually feel worse for trying to do it. 

I felt I had turned a corner as I haven’t gambled in a few weeks and now I just feel like utter rubbish.

You should be proud of yourself for the strength you showed. 

Its pretty sticking how the manager acted. What you need to realise is other people's actions has no bearing on you.  

Who the manger is as a person is not great and you have no influence on that.  They were simply doing them.  

All I see from what you posted is strength and courage from you.  Please do not see what you did as a negative as it was a positive step and you should be so proud of yourself right now! 

Well done ! 

 

As for the other lesson learned.  The way the manager / bingo hall handled this reinforce how evil and uncompassionate these gambling organisations/ crooks are! 

Something we all already know. 

In regards to you WELL DONE,  be proud of the strength, courage and determination you showed last night! 

This post was modified 1 year ago by Philiusfog
 
Posted : 20th May 2023 12:12 pm
 mel
(@iayzljw2t3)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

@lids19635 thankyou for your kind words, either way I will never step foot in that place again, more so due to the total embarrassment I felt.

I feel a little better today ?

 
Posted : 20th May 2023 7:57 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6070
Admin
 

Dear Mel, 

We are sorry to read that you had a bad experience when you were trying to do something good for yourself. 

Just to let you know, in case it helps, it is possible to self-exclude from your local bingo by phone:

'If a customer does not wish to attend their local bingo club or licensed high street bingo premises to request exclusion, then they may also do this by telephoning their local club or licensed high street bingo premises.'

You can have more information in this link: https://www.bingo-association.co.uk/self-exclusion

And you can always give us a call if you need more support: 0808 8020 133

Kind regards,

Juan

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 20th May 2023 10:08 pm
(@oranje01)
Posts: 195
 

I agree. Land based casinos need to improve in this aspect. When I self excluded I was interviewed by the manager where everyone could see & hear me, ?. It was humiliating 

 
Posted : 22nd May 2023 8:53 am
 mel
(@iayzljw2t3)
Posts: 23
Topic starter
 

@oranje01 that’s absolutely disgusting isn’t it?

I won’t go back now just out of embarrassment alone so I suppose I’ve still achieved what I wanted x

 
Posted : 23rd May 2023 8:02 am
 M&P
(@mp)
Posts: 104
 

@iayzljw2t3 What a complete b*****d. Excuse my language but the manager knew exactly what to do as they all get training in this area and that behaviour is completely unacceptable. He should be sacked but the response will be 'we have identified a training need and this will now be undertaken to ensure it doesn't happen again'.  You could help lots of others who would suffer from this depolorable behaviour.

You should get the area managers details or better still the head office details and write exactly what your post says to them.

Don't give up though as it is humiliating and we will all feel that way as we try and get through this. Stay firm in your resolve and, if you think about it, whats the worst thing that could happen? He will ban you from the premises which is exactly what you wanted to achieve anyway.

On a practical point, there is a leaflet that you can complete and simply give it to them (or post it) with your photo - you don't have to talk to them about it at all.  Alternatively, ring MOSES which is the helpline to self-exclude - here's the link and details. It worked for me!

Good luck

National Gambling Helpline – 0808 802 0133www.gambleaware.co.uk
Now, Self-Exclude from other forms of gambling. Follow this link

Kind Regards,
Michael Smith
Multi Operator Self - Exclusion Team.
Opening hours: 08:00 - 00:00
0800 294 2060

 
Posted : 23rd May 2023 9:14 am
(@g5d1vbe40k)
Posts: 8
 
Posted by: @mp

@iayzljw2t3 What a complete b*****d. Excuse my language but the manager knew exactly what to do as they all get training in this area and that behaviour is completely unacceptable. He should be sacked but the response will be 'we have identified a training need and this will now be undertaken to ensure it doesn't happen again'.  You could help lots of others who would suffer from this depolorable behaviour.

You should get the area managers details or better still the head office details and write exactly what your post says to them.

Don't give up though as it is humiliating and we will all feel that way as we try and get through this. Stay firm in your resolve and, if you think about it, whats the worst thing that could happen? He will ban you from the premises which is exactly what you wanted to achieve anyway.

On a practical point, there is a leaflet that you can complete and simply give it to them (or post it) with your photo - you don't have to talk to them about it at all.  Alternatively, ring MOSES which is the helpline to self-exclude - here's the link and details. It worked for me!

Good luck

National Gambling Helpline – 0808 802 0133www.gambleaware.co.uk
Now, Self-Exclude from other forms of gambling. Follow this link

Kind Regards,
Michael Smith
Multi Operator Self - Exclusion Team.
Opening hours: 08:00 - 00:00
0800 294 2060

Please tell me. Can I call this number if I want to help my loved ones, not myself?

 
Posted : 24th May 2023 8:44 am
 M&P
(@mp)
Posts: 104
 

@g5d1vbe40k  You should ring this number 0808 8020 133 first.

The number I quoted was to self-exclusion which has to be done by the gambler or the person who is looking to get themselves banned from premises like Bingo or Bookies or Casino.  You should ring Gamcare on 0808 8020 133 and they will help you.  They are good people who will not judge and will understand what you are going through.

Good luck

Mick

 
Posted : 25th May 2023 8:50 am
(@g5d1vbe40k)
Posts: 8
 
Posted by: @mp

@g5d1vbe40k  You should ring this number 0808 8020 133 first.

The number I quoted was to self-exclusion which has to be done by the gambler or the person who is looking to get themselves banned from premises like Bingo or Bookies or Casino.  You should ring Gamcare on 0808 8020 133 and they will help you. They are good people who will not judge and will understand what you are going through.

Good luck

Mick

Thank you. I think I persuaded my brother to ask for help. But I'm not sure yet. Maybe he's lying to me.

This post was modified 1 year ago 2 times by Belkster
 
Posted : 1st June 2023 2:45 pm
 M&P
(@mp)
Posts: 104
 
Posted by: @g5d1vbe40k
Posted by: @mp

@g5d1vbe40k  You should ring this number 0808 8020 133 first.

The number I quoted was to self-exclusion which has to be done by the gambler or the person who is looking to get themselves banned from premises like Bingo or Bookies or Casino.  You should ring Gamcare on 0808 8020 133 and they will help you. They are good people who will not judge and will understand what you are going through.

Good luck

Mick

Thank you. I think I persuaded my brother to ask for help. But I'm not sure yet. Maybe he's lying to me.

I know this sounds awful but I also think he's lying too and hasn't asked for help, although apart from how I used to behave, I have no evidence to support such an outrageous comment. 

If he has sought help he will have emails and messages confirming what he has asked them to do - such as gambling blocks on his phone and laptop etc or a self-exclusion from gambling establishments (bookies/casino's etc) or confirmation from his bank that blocks gambling debits etc etc............I have lots of those emails and so should he - if he won't show you them then he is lying. He will make you feel that you are being unreasonable and treating him like a child but it is all a wheeze to get away with continued gambling.

Gamblers lie, cheat and deceive so don't believe anything unless you see evidence........he is lucky to have you to look out for him.  Ask to see his bank statements too.......you wont get them if he's still gambling!

Good luck

Mick

 
Posted : 1st June 2023 5:23 pm
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