Hello everyone,
I’m Kelly and I’m 24 years old. I have suffered with a gambling addiction with roulette since I was 19. It all started when I was working nights and I was very bored and downloaded a gambling app and deposited £20 and won £1000. I then got into a spiral of constantly gambling, eventually getting to the stage of gambling away my whole wages. When I ran out of money I would then get payday loans, usually three at a time (Wonga, Wageday and Satsuma) with crusifying interest rates. I then got credit cards and bank loans too and as soon as I got them I’d gamble them all away. I went round in circles for years before finally telling my Mum and Dad in June 2017 It was at that point I realised how bad it was. Once on paper, I had lost well over £30,000 and I was in crippling debt. I couldn’t believe it that’s when it really hit me. After all the initial anger and shock, they gave me a loan to clear my debt and consolidate it all into one and I’m now paying them back monthly for this which has saved me a fortune in interest etc and I’m so grateful to them.
I really thought I was getting somewhere. When I was given that lifeline it really changed me (or so I thought) and my perspective on money and gambling and I was doing so well. Until this weekend I had a strike of boredom and I had an urge to gamble. I’ve had plenty of urges since last summer but I’ve always been able to control them but this one took over and I gave in. I deposited £10 and I got up to £100. I thought wow £90 profit, I’ll take that and I cashed out. 30 minutes later I had reversed the withdrawal and here I am 48 hours later and I’ve emptied what I had in my bank and maxed out my credit card and I’ve lost £1620 and the only reason I didn’t lose more is because I had no access to anymore money. I know I could of carried on and on and on.
I’m genuinely fed up of being in this situation. I’ve been through it so many times. I’m 24 years old and I have nothing to show for it. I honestly thought that I was getting past this but this relapse has made me realise I was so wrong. Previously I had shut down my accounts and I felt that was enough especially after 9 months of no gambling but it was so easy to create a new account. Now I know that I need more help than this and I really want to branch out to everyone on here at what more I can do to stop this happening again as I do not want to gamble and I genuinely mean that. I’ve left myself for the month with no money to pay for my bills and I don’t want to tell my mum and dad I’ve relapsed as I feel like it’s throwing everything they’ve done for me in their faces which it is. But I know when they expect their payment from me they will realise something is wrong when I say I don’t have it this month. I am so disappointed in myself and I have let myself and them down so much. I really want to change this and change my life for the better.
I appreciate any support/advice you guys give me and thank you for reading xxxx
Hi Kelly, I’m a slightly older Kelly & I spent your lifetime thinking my gambling was a money problem...It isn’t, it’s an addiction problem & the best advice I can give to you right now is tell your parents. As you say, they’re going to know that something is wrong when you don’t pay them so better to be upfront than let them be caught out as your money not going in may have unnecessary financial consequences for them. Enlist their help in getting your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle broken...Taking over your financing, blocking software (K9 is free but there are other paid versions that may work better depending on your devices) & building exclusions through SENSE or MOSES are the best blocks.
Addiction eats away @ us, makes us ashamed & the best way to tackle it is with real life support from groups such as GA (there is GamAnon if your parents need suppprt too) and/ counselling that is provided free of charge through GamCare or maybe your GP. Most people don’t recognise this young that they have a problem, so good skills being here now! & many can’t accept that something inside them needs changing, so you’re off to a good start!
Time to figure out how to gambling in your past & start living - ODAAT
Hi Kelly I am in a very similair situation as you as I have gambled since 18 and I am now 30 with nothing to show except a crippling amount of Debt. Roulette is the worst and those machines are deadly and everyday there are temptations everywhere you go. If you can kick the habbit now you will have a good life from here on out trust me; I relapsed yesterday myself and I don't know why I put 80 quid in the machine thinking I'd make something from it when I had my biggest loss last year of £21000 in 4 days and said enough was enough. It was bad enough I lost my dad last year and the money was inheritance money and he knew about my gambling; it was such a low point of my life knowing what I'd done; it's good you have support but you should if you can give your cards to other family and just have money when you need it. My brother has my card and my money from work goes straight into his bank which is an annoyance as the bank has said its fraud but ive said to them what other option do I have?
Good luck and we are all here for you.
Hi xkellymariex,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story with us.
From your posts, it seems like you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for a long while, and some financial support from your parents gave you some relief making you think you’re over with your gambling problem. Unfortunately, you soon realised that wasn’t the case when you relapsed after abstaining for 9 good month.
That must be difficult for you indeed, and I kind of understand why you want to work through your problem by yourself, and not to worry your parent with your debt anymore.
Just to make you aware, sometimes people need extra help and support to overcome their issues, and gambling problem is one area where most people need professional help to overcome their problematic gambling.Thus I will encourage you to reach out for all the help and support that you can get in case you want to do away with your gambling problem.
Well done for finding out about our forum; Gamcare is ready to help and support you to overcome your gambling problem by advising you on strategies that you can put in place to enable you control and eventually stop.
How about calling our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, speak to one of our advisers, and find out what other help options are available to you?
We’re open everyday from 8.00am to midnight, so there’s plenty of time to contact us for help when you feel ready. At the same time, the earlier, the better.
I suggest that you keep reading from our forum, and also to try and post when you feel ready to share more of your stories.
My best wishes to you on your journey to recovery, and please do your best to stay in touch so we can continue to support you.
Kind regards,
Beatrice
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