*** Join The Guru Challenge! ***

*** YOU'VE GOTTA LAUGH! ***

An man walks into a pub.

The landlord looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his trousers!

"What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" he asks.

"Oh that!" the man replies. "Y'know, it's been driving me nuts ....."

Hello (striver) day 81

​

I hear you Robf. And to a degree I get you...I was obviously looking for something when this addiction took hold.

However, gambling doesnt make anything better.

Even if your life is awful, gambling wont make it better, but NOT gambling willl stop it getting worse. I hope this makes sense.

Good luck, we are all here and we all know.

I think people are thinking I don't approve of not gambling if you are a compulsive gambler. I'm not saying or trying to suggest that. I'm not planning on gambling nor do I want to see anyone else gamble here.

I think what prompted my post was something about this whole thread really rubs me up the wrong way. I don't care for these day count challenges but that's fine, I normally leave them to the people who do find them useful and don't comment on them. What's prompted me to comment here is the rather dubious connection between a abstinence based system of counting gamble free days with titles such as elders and gurus. These are all titles that people associate with knowledge, insight , growth, spirituality, being a teacher or master. These are weighty titles that are not easily earned and shouldn't be bestowed because you have gone a number of days without a bet. Spend a lifetime learning about addiction and helping people and you can if you felt like it,take the title of guru. Otherwise just leave this to what it is, a day count challenge that has nothing to do with any deeper understanding of the addiction we all face.

You might say why such hostility and negativity? I think it's important we don't make false idols of ourselves and other people and feel that's what this whole thread is promoting.

I admit this is my issue so I will keep out of this thread from now on and leave people to it.

I suppose your argument and the arguement for thes types of things are mutually exclusive and are not in the same sentence.

For example i am 7 days gamble free and I totally agree that abstience does not equal cure however in this time I am using this site and other resources to educate myself about this addiction. I am also setting goals for myself in my personal life to further my recovery (please see my post if you would like..in recovery diaries uploaded tonight). So when I see those that are X amount of days GF I do look up to them a tad as I think of how different my life could be in that time and if they can do it...it can be done.

At the same time I am a social worker and longevity in my chosen career is seen to be one of great value, we see social workers 10 years + as gurus and those 20 years + as elders however this does not equate good practice (trust me!!)

Soooooo I get you but at the moment I am clutching at anything to hold me accountable for my actions until I can figure this s**t out for myself.

🙂

Dear Robf,

Thank you for cutting to the chase this time, pulling back the curtains with a showman's flourish, as it were, to let us know what really "grinds your gears". Always your perogative, of course!

I agree your opening sentence: I don't want to gamble and see other people gamble, either.

You talk about 'count challenges' in general and say they don't float your boat. Fair enough, fair dinkum, RobF; we all have, or are trying to find, different ways to control this insidious addiction: so, whatever soothes your soul.

You then get to the crux of the matter; the naming convention that's being used for the valiant souls who have attained 100 days or more gambling free - Elders and Gurus. You don't like 'em.

As Xenedra alludes in her excellent post above, these titles are not bestowed literally. Yes, the dictionary definitions most certainly point to the wisdom, insight and spirituality of these words if we are taking them literally, but - we're not. We don't.

They are rhetorical devices, a bit of fun but with a serious intent, to help inspire those of us that are trying to build up a long string of gambling-free days. They are, I like to think, interesting names marking hard-won targets; a bit more evocative than 100-days or 300-days (the non-linear gaps chosen, by the way, to make the earlier stages easier to climb to help maintain resolve).

And that's all it is, Robf. Yes, I appreciate it's not your cup of cocoa (loud and clear!) but others may respectfully disagree, or, indeed, agree. I really don't mind.

All I care about, and all we care about on this challenge, is fostering a spirit of positivity and togetherness to help aspire as many gambling-free days for us as we can; hopefully - whisper it - forever. It's but one of oodles of different ways people may wish to try - whatever helps.

As you say, why the hostility and negativity (you said it). I don't think anyone for a single moment is going to think of themselves as a false idol and I would say can easily understand the context. But here's a chance, Robf, to offer constructive criticism - do you have alternative 'titles' or names that could be used instead? I'm sincerely all-ears.

Thank you, in your conclusion, for making clear that this issue was your "beef" all along, and, as always, I wish you well. Let's hope we have both found our final exchanges carthertic and now move on - there's bigger fish to fry, like tomorrow and making sure it's gambling free (regardless of whatever else life may throw at us, or give to us).

All the best, Mixer

Hi rob .

I think it was pretty obvious from your first post on here that you didn't like it very much :((.

I'm nothing to do with this thread either but I am nearly 2 years gamble free so I suppose If i did join I'd be a " Guru " to which obviously I'm far from , that being said It's just a name my friend and they could easily have given the rankings as an MBE OBE or a Knighthood , would that have bothered you as much ? .

I think this thread is great as was Mixer's other thread as it does what it's intended to do , which is to bring people together to support each other in what is a bad time in peoples life and if there's a few laughs thrown inf or good measure then all the better I say ! .

When I first came here My recovery was and still is based on enjoying life and having a few laughs on here with people I've met and funnily enough l was aslo told I wasn't doing things right and of " Running with a pack" on here or having a " Pack mentality ! " well whatever it was my friend it certainly worked as I and many others who started out on that road still remain gamble free after a couple of years !.

Youve already stated that your life is awful and I think everyone on here would feel for you as weve all been there at some point but would you not be better to put al your effort into finding some peace and happiness back in your life than just being upset about this thread because of the fact you don't agree with the challenge .

People are trying to dig therselves out of a hole and find happiness by bonding together , is that so wrong my friend ?

Hold on! You mean I won't be a real Guru in 17 days time??

😉

Kadiz - a warm welcome to you - great to have a Striver on board; great to have you with us!

Alan135 - great post.

ItMattersMore - I hate to break it to you, but ................ 🙂 🙂 🙂

I'd love to jump on the bandwagon here. I'm 44 days in. Today was a struggle, found myself in new territory, literally. A high street I don't go to regularly and aren't barred from the 5 at least bookies I saw as I was walking to my meeting for work. Managed to veg through it though! A quick one though, do any of you find that when the gambling is being worked on, other addictions pop up? I have found myself glued to a particular game I play on my phone ( spent about £100 in 2 months on it ) and also, feeling hypersexual feelings. Thanks in advance, Mikey

Great to have you on board Mikey!

Well done on staying strong even when you're were in new territory! In terms of other addictions, it is common that people try to replace addiction with something else - however, it is important to remember that there is no need to replace it with anything as you are not losing anything by not gambling :-)When i first stopped at the end of last year I found myself playing a pool game on my phone all of the time to keep myself busy which I'd spend money on - this time round I prefer to read more and visit the forums more often! So be careful about trying to replace something you don't need to and make sure you get all the benefits of not gambling! At 44 days you are doing great, and know that today can be another gf day for you!

Great post Alan - I'm sure not taking this challenge literally but the support on here is great - well done Mixer

Athena

7 days achieved, only 22 to get to the next stage, good to have this thread as it give's me focus and I like challenges!

Thanks to Mixer and Athena.

Hi Mixer, just to let you know I wish to start my counter from 0 again.

Don't worry, I've not had a relaspse as such.....

I just had to pay £10 to my friend for an accumulater this weekend that I owed him. I feel so c****y for doing it and I don't know why I didn't think of an excuse on the spot. I panicked!....

Anyway, I later rung him up to say it was the last one I was doing as I was quitting gambling. I told him (for the very first time!) about all the problems I'd been having and that I no longer wished to participate anymore. He understood fully. He's a very close friend who I've found it very difficult to tell because of the contacts he has . I don't want it to get out to certain people but I felt I had to tell him and hope that I could trust him.

My biggest mistake was not telling him how far gamble free I was.

Anyway, whatever you may think, lame excuse or not, it happened and I can only apoligise.

I'm not in a bad way because it's not like I've relapsed in any dramatic way. I just simply couldn't tell him on the spot and by the time I did, he'd put it on.

I could have forgotten about this and ignored it and not counted it.

But my OCD and conscience won't let me!

Anyway, sorry again.

Back to 0 for me. But I'm happier, knowing that it's the honest truth.

I'm prepared for the 'lame excuse' blah blah blah from people but I know deep down that I'm making good progress.

Moorey.

Checking in on day 6...... plenty of urges but glad to report still gamble free, good to be part of this challenge and hoping it will help me keep focused on my recovery.

Hi Moorey

That was very honest post! Whilst you are back to zero, it doesnt mean you have lost focus or determination which is great! Being honest with those close to us is important, as in our journey to abstain from gabmling we certainly do not need any more temptation to gamble than we have already! I have been in the position where a friend did not know the extent of my problem, and would ask me to come to the bookies with them - which I was too easily persuaded. Now i have been honest it is one less temptation.

Carry on with your positive attitude and im sure youl build those gf days up, but just work with one day at a time - remember "stay gamble free each day because your life is better that way"!

Athena