Keep strong & always TALK TO SOMEONE.

Really wonderful post Molehole.

I really feel for your mate and the family who have lost a loved one. The things you have said to your friend will help him understand it's not his fault and again this sad story shows what gambling can do.

Thanks again for sharing and take care

Dave

Thanks DaveUK, I saw my mate again today and he's feeling a lot better about things.

It just goes to show how gambling can be such a nasty trip for some people. I came close after losing nearly 30k to ending it. One night in particular, but thank god I had friends to call up who talked me back down.

There's such a taboo still on admitting we are weak sometimes and need help - especially for us men.

Molehole x

Glad he is feeling a little better Molehole.

What starts out as a little fun can end up really bad and I am glad you have turned the corner and are using your experience to help others.

You are right that admitting we need help is very difficult which isn't helpful as it isn't until the point people recognise they need help that they can start to get better.

I am sure you will continue to be a good friend to your buddy just as your friends helped you. You are lucky to have them and he is lucky to have you.

Dave

A heartfelt post mole.

I fully understand we all must take responsibilities for our own actions but..... What gets me is there is all kinds of restrictions and laws in everyday life. What restrictions is in place for the gambling industry? None! I believe most if not all casinos are open 24/7. In USA booze is complimentary. Offer luxurious comps. They even loan you cash free of interest, they no you'll eventually lose.

I self excluded from all the casino here in Ontario Canada 3 months ago because I struggle to stop myself when I have the urge to gamble. I've visited various casinos half a dozen times since then. I'm 30 yrs old so my ID is checked every time and wouldn't you think with all the cameras in place I would be spotted by face recognition.... Nope! I called and notified them of this and their reply was 'oh yeah there is flaws in the self exclusion policy'.

I guess you have to think how much us CG contribute worldwide to the gambling industry.... Do they really want CG to stop donating money to them?

It's similar with these fobts in the high street in the U.K. 100 a spin every 20 sec and there not regulated? You should be required to have a members card to even enter these premises and swiped before placing a bet. This totally eliminating the CG from even entering. Surely this would Easley be set up... Why isn't it???

I fully except I'm in this battle on my own... The government is only concerned about taking my money.

Totally agree with both Half-Life and Tez. But what troubles me is that we don't look to blame other people or even gambling companies for our problems.

A stupid example to follow, but I'm just writing off the top of my head, - Society works for the majority not the minority. Ever seen that David Cronenberg film 'Crash? Where people got turned on by car crashes? Should we therefore ban cars? Or should we blame the governments that they don't stop us getting turned on by cars?

The reason I use cars rather than alcohol or drugs or tobacco is that none of these three serve any useful purpose in society except to get us feeling good (if we don't have an addiction issue).

The same goes for gambling. For millions of people it IS fun. Let's not pretend it isn't.

But for some of us, a very small minority (me included) it becomes a problem. So should we ban gambling? Even though I nearly took my own life, and my best friend's friend just did, I STILL wouldn't say we should ban it or it's the governments fault.

Why?

Because gamblers in my experience are very intelligent, we know what we're doing. We choose to do it. Sure we can't stop once we start, but we're intelligent enough to not start in the first place if we are really true that we wan't to stop. Otherwise we are just moaning that we are big fat babies in diapers and why doesn't the government protect us from ourselves. Wah, wah, wah.

Who of us as CG's and human beings want that?

Molehole

I get where you are coming from completely Molehole. Your car crash illustration is spot on.

Perhaps another example would be those who sniff glue - does that mean because some people become addicted then glue should be banned or made much harder to obtain - of course not. I also wonder how many alcoholics wish alcohol was banned and so on. The examples are endless.

As you have pointed out most people can control themselves when gambling but a small % just don't know when enough is enough and when things go wrong look to blame someone of something but it's their hand feeding the notes in, their hand filling out the betting slip and them inputting a username and password to log on to their online account.

Thankfully people are there to help pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong, just as people are there for the alcoholic and the drug addict and they do a great job. However, it isn't until the person with the problem takes responsibility will things change.

The real problem is not the actual gambling but getting to the bottom of understanding the urges and how to deal with these as it's only when the urges are acted on does it develop into a problem.

I am also fascinated how different things float different peoples boats. I would still find playing a roulette machine attractive if I started doing it again whereas another person would find them the most mundane boring things in the world. Equally someone could find the idea of going out and getting hammered totally enthralling whereas I would not be interested in doing it if I was promised I could drink as much as I want for free.

Ah well I won't be playing the roulette machine and won't be getting hammered either!

Well done again for a great post.

Dave

Amen to that DaveUK. Each to their own addiction, and an addiction for each of us.

But there comes a point in anyone's addiction where we have to face the ultimate question - What are the reasons that stop me from stopping, now that it's not fun?

I guess I just give people too much respect because I managed to get over my gambling I expect everyone else to be able to do the same, (even though I forget how hard it was for me to do it).

But ultimately I guess it's that brutal - gamble or don't gamble. No-one really cares whether you stop or not. We are all so busy caring about ourselves.

So, take responsibility for your gambling - who is to blame each time you log on or walk into a bookies/casino?

You?

The government?

Do you want to be treated like an idiot who has no control over your actions due to a 'mental illness of gambling'? If so then have your family/friends Section you now.

But if you can't admit you have a problem yet or can't seek help then... Who do you expect is going to help you? Who are you going to blame if not yourself?

Fair? Or not?

Carry on Gambling if you are enjoying it or stop if you aren't enjoying it anymore.

If you are still enjoying gambling then why are you on this forum anyway, etc...

Molehole