Line by Line. A GamCare story

...things would never be the same again. The trust had been broken between Michael and his wife, and that was three long years ago. He hadn't gambled for over 8 months, but had several relapses since the truth originally came out.

Next it was Courtney's turn. She explained how she had watched Raymond's life spiralling out of control vowing never to be the same, until one late evening a casino ad popped up on her smartphone...

She felt nauseous, hot, and depleted of energy. It was difficult to share more than the basics and she was done. Raymond was seated next to her practically holding her upright, it was as though she was in the aftermath of a very strong drug overdose. She had been carried into this meeting and now she had to be carried out. What was Raymond to do? Her truck was still in the casino parking lot , it was now a dark rainy evening getting later and later. Logic kicking into gear, he decided to drive to the casino and rent a room for the evening. There she could get a warm bath, sleep it off and morning would bring a fresh perspective on life. One day at a time he thought. NO, one breath at a time.

I think tara2 has left the forum just showing up as guest user?

New Chapter..

After the grueling GA meeting and all truths on the table.

Courtney felt raw with emotions and numb now that her secret was out. She also felt happy and free as a bird that her story had been told.

And now she mused she and Raymond can create their very own red shoe diaries (wink)...

Ray dropped Courtney after the rollercoaster day. He could see Courtney was mentally exhausted.

As the sun began to set in Little Barking, Courtney looked up the skies from through her window. It was deep red with fluffy grey clouds dotted around the visible skyline. As the sun lowered the light faded bringing the world into artificial light.

Her mind was spinning, racing and jumping from thought to thought as she peiced together her memories and emotions for the day.

As she began to get undressed for bed, she realised her curtains were wide open but she didn’t care. Bed was calling and rest was definitely needed.

Sunday morning, sun was blinding, squintng her eyes because the sun was reflecting the light shining as bright as prisms of travelling light.

She cocked her head to the left, trying hard to hear the hens. And she decided as much as she loved the country life. It was time to get back to the bright fluorescent coloured lights of London and the mill of people all rushing from home to work, it was time to say Goodbye to the good life. It was great while it lasted, but honestly it just wasn't for her.

Packed up her Louis Vuitton suitcase and matching vanity case it was time to head home.

She wrote a letter to Raymond saying Good Luck for the Future.

Nothing more was needed, she left it on her front door nailed inside the porch where it couldn't be lost.

She drove back to London town.

London hadnt changed.

Courtney smiled to herself as she began her approach into London.

‘London, sunny London’ she chuckled to herself in her best cockney accent,

It’s was if the world had stood still for the past 10 years that she had been away.

Everything looked the same, from the giant houses with massive front gardens, to the the parks she used to walk around in the summer. It was as if time had stopped still.

It was still extremely noisy and when Courtney took a breath in the air hit the back of her throat like she struggled to breathe.

She looked in the mirror and saw that she had aged and as normal her hair was thrown up in a messy bun. Her face was made up and her eyes shone brightly and twinkled in the sun light.

She still had youthful looks but she noticed she had started to age with the stress over the past 10 years. From the gambling addiction to the stresses of work and even Ray.

Would escaping to London make her feel more alive or would she feel more alone? Only time will tell.

Courtney's family business always had a job for her, the boutique, clothes and nail bar. She knew there was always a job for her. She rung her sister..

"Hello Clair.. Can I come to work as I am back?".

Clair said sure see you at 8am Monday sharp.

Now Clair was her parents favourite, Courtney had always been the disappointment, the rebel without a cause.

Clair gave her parents straight A's and had perfect hair and skinny hips, was much smarter.

But Clair, really looked upto Courtney she did all the rebel things that she always wanted to do. And now Courtney was back she can do those things again and it will always be her sister's fault.

Monday morning...

It felt a little strange walking into the salon. Courtney had, from time to time considered a full time career in the business, but it was just not very exciting. Granted, there was good money to be made if you worked hard, but then again, the prospect of winning a month's wages overnight on the slots was always more appealing.

Upon entering the shop she glanced at her sister with a warm smile.

"Hello stranger" Clair called out. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"
"Hey I'm only joking, it's great to see you".

They shared a sisterly embrace and just at that moment Courtney felt a sense of belonging.

They reminiscing about the times one of them sold a glue thinking it was for nails and the client went home and used it on her eyelashes. From that day when their Dad asked which one did it... It glued their friendship further.

While talking of passed hilarious fails there was Bella sat in the chair having highlights done. Listening with a frightened grin that wasn't quite ear to ear.

"Eh Ladies what are you trying to do frighten me, I sure don't want to go on this date with pink or orange hair.. Concentrate please!"

Both girls exchanged a sister look that was mischievous without even thinking..

Courtney says.. "oh my god Clair" hand goes to her mouth as in shock.. "Ssshh" says Clair "I will sort it"..

Bella was freaked by this time.. Shouting "What! What! have you done to my hair?"..

Then they both laughed.. In unison said "Only Joking".

"So Bella who you going on a date with tonight?".

Bella's mind raced and her heart started to beat faster. When ever she thought about him her heart missed a beat. She couldn't sleep and definitely didnt want pink or orange hair. Nor did she want her false tan to be the colour of a terracotta pot.

"Ummmmmmm just a guy i know" Bella splurted out.

"Just a guy?", Courtney said with a inquisitive voice.

"Yeah just a guy", said Bella wishing she had never said it.

"Tell us all about him then, cmon. You can't say that you are going on a date, and not tell us. You have to spill the beans of this date, like where is he taking you, where did you meet him, what does he look and all the usual stuff we are supposed to be told", Clair giggled.

CJ. wrote:

Bella's mind raced and her heart started to beat faster. When ever she thought about him her heart missed a beat. She couldn't sleep and definitely didnt want pink or orange hair. Nor did she want her false tan to be the colour of a terracotta pot.

"Ummmmmmm just a guy i know" Bella splurted out.

"Just a guy?", Courtney said with a inquisitive voice.

"Yeah just a guy", said Bella wishing she had never said it.

"Tell us all about him then, cmon. You can't say that you are going on a date, and not tell us. You have to spill the beans of this date, like where is he taking you, where did you meet him, what does he look and all the usual stuff we are supposed to be told", Clair giggled.

"You know my type Clair, blond, slim, pretty boy type but he gambles, well he's always talking about his bets, and I like him but not sure".

Clair shouts over the hairdryer.. "Don't meet him Bella you don't need the hassle or stress. Isn't that right Courtney? Come out with us tonight".

Courtney looked embarrassed, like they had caught her out.

Later after Bella had left, she said to Clair...

"I need to tell you something about me Clair". "its important".

Courtney began to shake and spluttered the words out tearfully. She recalled all the details of her time away from London. The lonely nights, crazy gambling and dangerous liaisons.

Could it really be a result of Raymond's influence and the static bond of love they had between them. She was certainly a different person now that her life had been turned upside down.

Over six thousand pounds in debt and not a bean to show for it. Clair listened intently to her sister's tearful words.

“Right, now listen to me.” Clair said sturnly, “You can’t change the past Court, only move forward. Take it as a chapter in book of life. Mum left this salon to us so we need to commit to it and make it work. I’ll help you if you help yourself.”

Clair didn’t care that her sister had debt nor that she gambled or even that she had an addiction to it. All she cared was that her best mate was back, her partner in crime.

Courtney smiled through her tears and said, “you are right!”

A few days had past and Courtney had done a few shifts at the salon. She felt content with herself, the first time in a long time.

Was it because her addiction was now out there in the open?

Was it because she was working hard again and occupying her mind?

Was it her sisters sturn voice telling her to shake it off and write a new chapter?

All Courtney knew is that she felt better, and she felt alive.