Hey guys,
So my partner left me before christmas when I came clean about my gambling problem. She has kept me around but has been busy with work and was finally ready to give us another go. I've had some issues with work due to drinking and that's all exploded recently and I've lost my job. I got into some trouble last year for drinking when I was gambling a lot and drinking to forget or because I won. I was fine for over 4 months and just had one bad night, can't really explain why, think I just thought I would be fine. Time can make you forget how bad things can get.
So I was gamble free for 4 months and have have not even slightly wanted to do it. I thought for the first time in my life I was in control and I think this made me too relaxed. When things got bad with my job I was ok for about a week then one night I was alone and instead of talking to someone or coming on here I had a drink and very stupidly lost the grand I had in savings.Â
So even with losing my job I was still positive about the future, had some savings and my relationship was finally looking like it was going to get better after so much time.Â
So I've told my family and a friend everything but I have not told my partner. I've worked so hard to make everything better and now this would blow any chance of a future. I get paid next week and she would never have to know. I know how bad this sounds.
So I have 2 questions if anyone can help.
Do I tell her? I know the truth is such a big deal but I won't be able to come back from this. I don't want her to know so she doesn't get hurt again.Â
And more of a long term question.
Has anyone else gone so long not being tempted by gambling, had a bad night, then finally beaten it? I still feel like I have control over it even though it has just beaten me again. I have put everything in place like gamstop to make sure this never happens again.Â
Thank you,
Alice x
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Hi I had a big blow last year over £10000 my first real experience on line however made me sick n stayed away n for some unknown reason this year went on and was up significantly at first then lost it all plus some of my own money had a rough month I keep it to myself it destroys me but not as much as u think it would dealing with the loss of the money plus the loss of trust from om my partner and the feelings of guilt are hard without sharingÂ
I thought I wasn't a compulsive gambler however everything about my gambling was screaming compulsive gambler I thought I was in control but each time I deposited no matter how small the compulsive gambler started and could not stop I'm gutted I lost all. Of my winnings and it has hurt more than wen I've lost my own money I think it is because it was a big amount and then it has all gone and you had it were even though I've put that amount in my own money into gambling its in small amounts that adds up. It's sickening the money that's wasted on gambling and what could b done with it instead I am totally done Don't think I really want to be as if I could access online I would but gam stop preventing me wish I installed it last year then I wouldnt have had a incredible high and then lost that and more but it all in the past and without gambling I should be able to live pretty comfortably sorry I've taken over your post but sounds like we're in very similiar positionsÂ
I think it's constant fight...
And about the trust and honesty...better to tell the worst truth than the best lie.
You got me...
Ellesse,
Don't apologise. We are all looking for the same help so it's fine. The hardest bit about gambling again is feeling like I have to restart everything. The only upside is that I know it does get better. The feeling of being in control of my money again and having even a small amount of savings. It's just hard knowing how hard the next few weeks will be.Â
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Bartosz,
Is the worst truth better than the best lie? Sometimes we lie to make sure others don't get hurt and if the lie has a better outcome for everyone involved then is that not the better thing to do?
Alice x
Agree, not all of us can take the risk in fessing up.I can’t and I know it’s wrong but if I can right this I will.The telling would end us, I know her.
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