ok everyone, I know I have been coming here on and off for the past year maybe longer and i assure you all i'm annoyed with myself just as you guys probably are..I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. but yes this is my confession..i had another relapse two weeks ago and then another today.
The reason i was able to have my relapse is because months ago i downloaded the txnongam program on my computer as i have an addiction for online slots.. now dont get me wrong the program worked great and i was able to stay gamble free for a few weeks..until something happened which caused it to stop working..so as you all can probably guess, I did the sick deed a week ago. and to really add insult to injury i did it again today.
I'm just grateful i stopped before i lost everything in the account to the point where we wont be able to pay our bills coming the 1st.
We will be living in the overdraft for a few weeks until we can recover from the financial loss i caused. dont get me wrong..part of me is still wanting to gamble just so i could get us back in the black or even break even to what i did lose..but then the sensible part of me is actually stopping me from gambling because i know if i do we wont be able to pay our bills and god knows what would happen if that would be the case..so im on here writing to stop myself from digging an even deeper hole than i already dug.
I am assuming full responsibility as this is no one elses fault but my own, my husband doesnt deserve this monster i created inside myself as hes been very supportive of me and my kids sure as hell dont deserve it.. so im going to start counselling and im going to drag my husband to the sessions with me because he could use some support himself for putting up with a loser like me and i couldnt have been more blessed
Hi GamAddict - You've shown a lot of courage to 'fess up to your recent lapses, so here's wishing you the very best for your counselling.
How great that you have the support of your husband in this.
Well done too on realising that it's hopeless trying to chase your losses - we have all done that and it's a complete waste of time. The chances are that if you had won thousands, you would have ploughed it all back on the slots, and felt even worse.
You are not a 'loser' - just someone who, like us all, has got dragged into an addiction which on the face of it seemed a fun way of making some money.
Be proud of the fact that you are now resolved to rid yourself of the gambling 'monster' and are on the way to a happier, healthier life.
Best wishes,
Joanna
Hi Joanna,
Thank you for replying to my post..i'll admit..it did take alot of courage on my part to come on here and confess what i did but at the end of the day im kind of relieved..ive yet to tell my husband but i'll cross that bridge when i get there.
today is my "I'm not going to gamble today" and im sticking to it as i already had way too many gamble days to count and im already in the cr** as can be so i dont want to make it worse. thats what i need to start doing everyday though..just find other means of time killing. one step at a time right?
Hi GA - Yes, 'one day at a time' is the best route, and you will soon be amazed at how quickly those 'clean' days mount up.
Something which has really helped me, and lots of others, is to join Mr Brightside's '2014 Challenge' on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page. All the details are on page 1, and all you are asked to do is to state your commitment to give up gambling and then check in once a week. It's a team effort and very supportive, and fun!
Joanna
Hi Joanna,
thanks i did post on there..asking if there was room for one more..no reply yet but can i still check in on a daily basis?
Hi GA - Sorry - should have noticed your post above mine on the Challenge. You don't need to check in daily - best to wait for Mr Brightside's acknowledgement; I'm sure he has seen your message and he will probably ask you to post again and then add you to the list on page 1 for next week. Keep going!
J
Thanks Johanna..i'll wait o until then i'll just keep reading posts from everyone and continue to busy myself in more productive and positive ways 😀
Hi Nikki - I see you are now on page 1 of the Challenge so Mr B has logged you in - you just need to make a post before Saturday.
Hope you are still doing well and feeling stronger.
Joanna
Hi Joanna..I did post yesterday I think so hopefully im added to the group...then ill keep checking in. But im doing ok..no gambling since my confession so thats a start 🙂
Yes Nikki - that's a very good start. I make that three days for you which is nearly half a week!
Just a few more days and you will be feeling even better. Well done!
Joanna
Hi Joanne..things are better...im 5 days gamble free so im happy.Can't wait til I can say im like 3 months hanble free and even 6 months
You're doing great GA - keep going!
Joanna
Hehe thanks joanna, im trying my hardest because I have a very important event ie my kids bday going in and i actually wanma be able to give her a decent birthday party so I have to try and knuckle down..thanks so much for your support
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