"Not enough bad things have happened to me yet"

Hi k2,

It makes sense what you're saying although for me until my consequences, misery and despair outweighed the fun and enjoyment I was never going to stop on the backing of anyone else's words of wisdom. I believe my turning point was when gambling stopped working for me. Towards the end of my gambling days I remember hitting some significant jackpots at the casino and didn't even cause me a change in emotion. My last stint of gambling was 24 days straight in a casino playing slots and was so sick of it at the end. The crazy thing was that I didn't even run out of money, I just had enough.

Hey K2 :)) . 

It would be so nice to have thought that in my 20'S  I'd have listened to someone much wiser telling me of the pitfall's that lay ahead in wait for me , " Would I have listened " ? Hell no !! I knew everything way back then and had another three decades to finally sit up and take notice but I guess It's that old thing about  " Wisdom coming with age " ? .  

A great post. 

I have to agree with others that in my 5 years gambling I don’t think I would have ever stopped until I got that rock bottom a month ago, but everyone is different, and your outlook is great food for thought.

This may well be a comfort for others who want to stop before it gets to the point most of us reach. 

But I do fear with gambling addiction most people would never stop until they realise their life is in ruins. I have stopped many times over the 5 years knowing I’m heading down a slippery slope, but it took the huge financial difficulty and stress/anxiety I am facing to make me realise I cannot go on like this. 

I said something in my diary thread which I really want to hang onto. I believe this situation has happened to me personally for a reason. I believe I was almost destined to get this horrible illness to give me a short sharp shock and lesson of what is truly important in life, as before I was too focused on the materialistic side. 

Of course I am not throwing this outlook onto everyone, but it works for me 🙂 

Hi Ken

A thoughtful post as always. 

I get where you're coming from, and I think your post also compounds the importance GA places on not referring to sums of money, the moment that metric enters the equation it can skew people's perception of how deep they are in...

I guess the idea is that the depth isn't relative to the severity, once you're in the s**t you're in it - doesn't matter if you're just dipping your toe in for now, eventually you'll fall in the swamp.

That's basically my gambling career, binge gambling once a year and doing progressive sums of money until the day I had way too much at my disposal and went on tilt. Then I'd had enough. 

My big regret is comparing my losses to those I knew around me who were losing much bigger sums and were spending way more time than me on a daily basis absorbed in gambling. It gave me justification to continue I think.

The day I lost a five figure sum in half an hour was the day I'd had enough - but honestly, believe me when I say it was the merry-go-round i'd had enough of as opposed to the amount lost being the driving factor. In fact 5 minutes after losing that money I started drafting a list of how I was going to turn my life around, whereas in the past I'd lost 3 figure sums and been in bits for months.

So to answer your question, forget the money lost, perhaps pain should be the relative metric to judge your gambling addiction, everyone has different thresholds, each person will throw in the towel at different points.

I say this because I can't imagine anyone just giving up the ghost based on horror stories or advice from those who hit rock bottom... Or moreover... How many people do we know that rolled into GA before they felt the pain and devastation?

Sadly, until the powers that be do more to raise awareness I guess waves of pain are the only way people are becoming aware these days... ?

As with others it takes that feeling of rock bottom to wake us up from the catastrophic cycle of gambling and it’s stupidity.That zombie feeling you get, however unlike others I did celebrate the big wins, not that I had many, for me gambling was 95% chasing my losses to get out of debt that it’s always had me in.I got so used to losing it hurt every time though, I’ve always bar a very brief period had debt in my life and it’s been a fairly miserable life at times.

ive been bankrupt for over £110k....a six figure sum.

but I never learned, I got into £10k more debt and my current fiancé lent me the cash to pay it off , I was just about debt free bar paying her back.

did I learn? No, I seem to was bad things to start again, I can’t explain why, the buzz was never the thing for me, it was the chance to clear debt.

im determined to never gamble again, I’ve no excuse now so if I ever relapse the sense of shame will be huge from me and I will end up tossing away the best thing I have, my woman.

life for me has improved my moods since that decision 109 days ago to stop, I’ve had enough bad things happen to me, I don’t want anymore, good things come if you are a wee bit patient.

Posted by: signalman

compounds the importance GA places on not referring to sums of money, the moment that metric enters the equation it can skew people's perception of how deep they are in...

 

 

- but honestly, believe me when I say it was the merry-go-round i'd had enough of as opposed to the amount lost being the driving factor.

 

Hi Signalman,

Very elegantly put.

It's all the other things I've lost and squandered that matter more than the money.

Pity it took until I'm in my early 50's to realise.

Hi

Rewarding my self and complimenting our self was a healthy habit I needed to learn for myself.

The gambling was never about the money, the gambling for me was about escape and my emotional triggers.

There is nothing gained that is healthy by beating our self up.

The money was just the fuel for my addiction.

The recovery program helped me understand that I needed to do the exact opposite to nurture myself, to care for myself, to protect myself learn to respect myself, and no longer cause myself pain of self abuse by gambling.

Today I am healthier, today I do not need to escape to unhealthy habits.

I can say that once you heal from the pains from your past, those very same pains become your strength today.

Living in pain and causing myself pain is very unhealthy, the recovery program is about healing, yet I could not start to heal my hurt inner child until I was able to stop causing myself pains or as we call it abstain from all unhealthy habits.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham