Hello I have been on gamcare for quite a while on and off over the years but now I am currently over 600 days gamble free the last 2 weeks have been tough as I have some how got it into my head that I can ask my partner to gamble for my entertainment the last couple of weekends I have been sat watching her in arcades/betting shops on the slot machines. She done this as she didn’t want to say no incase I started a argument as when I did gamble I was really a nasty gambler. So In the last couple of weekends I have been watching her and getting myself all het up wanting her to gamble. But yesterday my partner has decided to block herself from the betting shops so I can no longer ask her she’s even told me she will say no if I ask again. It hit me hard yesterday thinking how it reminded me of what I used to be like. I’ve spoken to gamcare and also re activated my betting shop ban through self exclusion. Today I have not asked her to gamble I’m feeling happy about that. One question I have is does anyone else suffer from head pain and shaking when they are wanting to gamble? I am almost 2 years gamble free I went a whole year not asking my partner to gamble then all of a sudden I have. So I am now having withdrawals headache/ migraine feeling depressed. I was also worried incase I have broken my gamble free but was told I haven’t gambled myself or put money into the machines but I am heading down that road if I don’t stop asking my partner to do this. Gamcare have set me up for more help also. Sorry for the long post I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you to whoever reads this
Jade
Well done to your girlfriend stepping up and also you for your self exclusion!! It sounds like your girlfriend has noticed how bad this is affecting you and doesn’t want you to go down that route again. Remember whatever she does or says, it’s all because she loves you and she is helping you! Even if you think she isn’t, she really is. I get headaches when I’m overthinking the “I need….” But I try and occupy myself elsewhere and the headaches stay until my mind starts focusing on what I’m doing. Which takes a while. But I drink plenty water, focus on what I’m doing, and my mind takes a step back and my headache slowly goes. Just remember, your girlfriend is a better priority than spending on something that you will lose, if you feel you need to just gamble, why not go for a drive or a nice walk with your girlfriend? Or if it’s late at night, turn your wifi and data off your phone and put it the other side of the room and stick a film on or play some PlayStation or Xbox. I know some things are easier said than done, but once you get your mind to focus on doing this other stuff, it eventually becomes the habit you need to take control. I craft so I am always focused on making things with my machine or paint. I’ve only just put a blocker on my phone a few days ago, knowing that is there and the fact it’s there to help and not judge, makes it a bit easier. Just remember, there’s some better things you can spend money on, mini breaks, drives in the countryside, walking, the world is our oyster and we all need this kind of push to get us back in the right direction. I don’t have anyone to help me push through(due to me not talking to anyone about it, apart from online forums). But your girlfriend will get you through this. I know it might sound crazy, but you could also stick post it notes round the house with little messages on, and then your girlfriend can also write on them. Make a scrap book together also! It’s the little things that help us through times like this.
You got this!!
Thank you for taking your time to send me a message.
your right about the walks when I first stopped gambling I went on walks also played games on my Xbox to set my mind of gambling. I’m 619 days gamble free I just started turning to my partner to gamble for me some how I got it into my head. But yesterday I didn’t ask and I won’t be asking again I’m setting my mind on other stuff.
@jadelouise96 That’s ok. Sorry, your partner, you can do this. And I’m sure your partner will help you all the way. I think the interwebs make it too easy to turn us back to a place we don’t want to be. But if you do feel like you have them urges, like asking your partner, suggest doing something else. Keeping occupied with other things seems to be the key. I’ve started turning my phone off if I did feel the urge and then just say over and over in my head do something else. Knowing I’ve got the internet easily, doesn’t help at all so I have to take these kind of measures to stop myself caving. I’ve only been stopped a few days. But I’m determined to keep at it and just think about the things I can buy. The money you save, you guys can go on many ventures with. Remember we only live once, and there’s so many places to visit. Think of all the memories you can make. Well done on being GF for 619 days!
You don’t need to say sorry she’s my girlfriend/ fiancée I normally say partner. I think your totally right I’ve been today playing on my game and keeping my mind of asking my partner to gamble. And your right about spending money on other stuff like stuff to show for it. Certainly love to go on holiday but money is tight at the moment. I think that’s why I think to myself only if I can win more money but it won’t never happen it will end in money get lost and debts. I hope your doing ok yourself
@jadelouise96 in my experience I can have persistent thoughts and feelings that I feel I have to act on. There’s two ways that any thought scenario that gets into my head can go. Either I act on it or I get rid of it. I might not act on it straight away but if it’s left it can grow louder and fester until I act on it.
I’m lucky that I go to GA. It’s not just for stopping gambling but for being an outlet that I can use to get rid of those thoughts that might take me back to gambling.
GA isn’t just a room but I also have a list of people like me from the rooms that I can call or message if I needed to just get something off my mind. Likewise listening or helping others in turn helps me.
If you don’t have that support network that you can be honest with then it’s no wonder you feel like you do.
Sharing on here hopefully helps but I would suggest going to a GA group to get that support.
Chris.
Hi Chris thank you for the advice I had a phone call from my GA near where I live so I am set up for a phone call for next week. I hope your doing good
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
