Good day all.
I am a gambling addict that have lost nearly £17K across 6 years of gambling. The main cause is boredom and seeking the adrenaline hype (although I am working and having some very busy periods - I still get bored).
I am writing to explain that once again I am on day 1, and give the promise to myself that I will not even play heads or tails anymore in my life, let alone gamble in sports or casino in any way.
I will keep a diary in the "diary" topic section, with thoughts and daily struggles, and I am feeling strong and hope this is gonna last and never lose a single penny, that we all work hard for.
All the best, keep strong to everyone and keep in mind that the time to stop is now. Thank you.
B
A lot of people go through it.
Ive relapsed many times, I don't think the addiction will ever be gone but for now its not bothering me. I don't get tempted but I know I've been in this situation before and let me guard down and ended up gambling.
I wish you the best!! The 100th relapse doesn't always lead to a 101st relapse 😊
Thank you very much! Keep it up, I am planning this time to stay free for good!
Hi
I got to understand my emotional triggers over time.
My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal.
My emotional triggers were fears I could not face or reduce.
My emotional triggers were my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
My emotional triggers were boredom because I was not fully stimulated in getting things done.
My emotional triggers were due to my fear of emotional intimacy, pains in the past caused fears of emotional intimacy.
I have become aloner for several reasons.
By me having unreasonable expectations I was in effect causing my self pains.
I now understand that any clean time can be lost we have lived it.
My desire for the adrenaline rush was very much high levels of fears.
I would get an adrenaline rush doing many different types of unhealthy habits.
Being to busy at work can also indicate obsessive behaviour.
I have fogottten the number of time I was on day 1.
The more important fact the longer I stuck with my recovery the more stable an balanced I became.
In time I healed my pains and become amuch healthier person.
I use to take my unhealthy habits and make them healthy habits.
In time I gave up making promises I could not keep even to my self.
Just for today only I will not gamble.
By keep a diary is a commitment to my self and also I become more accountable and honest with my self at a deeper emotional level.
Giving my money away to complete strangers I was giving away my time.
By me feeling stronger and more committed I was abale to liest adn commit to my needs my wants and in time my goals.
In time every relapse became a lesson for me to learn from.
To change my unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.
I stopped being aloner.
Do not give up faith or hope in your self.
Love and peace toe very one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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