Hi all, been reading through forums and I know I've got some gambling demons, though thankfully I've only done it for 30 days. 30 days straight all day intensive in play soccer betting.
The Buzz I got was unreal, but the depths were horrid. I lucked out on hail Mary bets three times, winning back chased losses and then bam, lost the lot, in three bets. Nothing came in...such a weird feeling. Worse than that was the little devil voice telling me to go all out, glory or broke and convinced myself I'd be 'free' if I went broke.
350 Quid, 250 of which was pure profit so by no means a life destroyer. That was the danger I saw...when I was winning, wow. Keep going, get to 200, keep going, get to 300 and I'll bank it, keep going, greed greed greed.
I went on a ten strong win streak, unreal. But then I lost 7 in a row, ВЈ10 stakes. (Which grew dramatically from my initial 50p/£1 stakes) and it wasn't that big a loss in reality/hindsight. Dropped to around 280 from 350. But in my mind at that time it was the end of the world, never felt anything like the need to 'win it back'...cue stupid bets, lost more. Another big bet...came in and I was back up to 300! But then I didn't stop, bet without thought and dropped to 210. Lost plot and went for all out bets only this time nothing came in and bam bam zero.
House wins, full stop. It's not the bookies fault though...if I was disciplined and cut losses...but I don't have that personality. It was on my mind all the time to get back to parity.
I've realised that I can't ever bet again. Even after a short time and relatively low losses. There's a part of me that thinks If I go back I'll be different, accept losses and chill but I know I won't. I wouldn't ever earn enough profit etc - there's also that self validation that this one is a sure thing. Or you get that run where you pick 10 bets out of 20, and the other 10 come in...the resentment I felt - irrational and ridiculous
In a way I'm glad I've seen this now as some folk have been years and thousands in. I have the all in obsessive side to me in whatever I do, so perhaps best to use that in work/gym instead.
Even after all that, I still miss the buzz, the uncertainty and excitement..but I don't miss the crushing lows, paranoia, and irritations...
Hi calimocho and welcome,
You describe the roller coaster ride so well. Thing is for me it derailed completely at one point in the past and took me crashing down to a nasty hard surface that I would not want to ever hit again. Put as many barriers in place to prevent you from taking part in any further gambling activity. I use the 2015 Challenge on here and that has helped me stay "clean" for 120 days. Sure I've had urges to gamble when things have gotten bad but with online blockers on I've not been able to wreck my plan. You could consider GA meetings and or obtaining counselling via Gamcare. I too have suffered from an obsessive behaviour pattern in the past and that was linked to clinical depression. I'm on a high dose of antidepressant now which seems to help me. I'd suggest to anyone out there who feels they are seriously depressed to contact their GP as help is available.
Visiting the Forum on a regular basis has helped me stay gamble free.
I now have no intention whatsoever to commence gambling again. I firmly believe with the right help and measures in place the demon can be beaten.
See this stuff on urges that Phil posted on the Challenge some time back.
Coping with urges
A difficult week for some is coming and I hope we all get through it without any urges. However if you are struggling have a read of this. I found it here, https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/urges
How to cope with urges.
For many individuals, the crucial problem is coping with urges. In order to cope well with them, it is usually necessary to understand them accurately, rather than in the distorted manner of many addicts. Some common distortions about urges are that urges are excruciating or unbearable, that they compel you to use or act, that they will drive you crazy if you do not use or act, and that they will not go away until you use or act. Some individuals are confused enough about their own thinking that they have a difficult time identifying distinct urges, and simply think of themselves as behaving a certain way "because I like to."
In actuality, urges can be uncomfortable but they are not unbearable unless you blow them out of proportion; they do not force you to do anything (there have probably been many instances where you had an urge but did not act), they have not driven you crazy yet (and will not), each urge will go away if you simply wait long enough, and there are periods between urges which become increasingly longer if you stop.
Although during the initial days or weeks of abstinence or moderation, especially after a long period of daily addictive behavior, you may experience many urges of strong and even increasing intensity. Recovering addicts of all types report that urges eventually peak in frequency, intensity, and duration, and then gradually, with occasional flare-ups, fade away. How long it will take for urges to peak, and how rapidly they will subside, depends on many factors, including the specific addiction, the length of the addiction, how successful the program of abstinence or moderation has been, and the strength of the developing alternative lifestyle. However, as a very broad guideline, within six months to one year most addicts will report only feeble urges (for instance, one a week, lasting a few minutes, a 1 or 2 on a 10 point scale).
It is also crucial not to take responsibility for the occurrence of the urge, but only your response to it. It is normal for any addict to experience urges, and just because on Sunday you decide to stop does not mean that on Monday you will not have urges. The fact that urges occur does not indicate that your motivation is weak, but that your addiction is strong. Because all habits have unconscious components, of which the urge is one, it will take time for these to die away. What is within your control, however, is how you respond to the urge. An analogy could be made to someone knocking at your front door. All sorts of individuals might knock at your door, but it is up to you to decide with whom you will talk. Their knocking is not your responsibility, but to what extent you choose to speak with them is.
Specific techniques for coping with urges include the following:.
When an urge occurs, accept it, but keep it at a distance. Experience it as you would a passing thought, one which "comes in one ear and out the other". Detach yourself from it, and observe and study it as an outside object for a moment. Then return your attention to what you were previously doing. If the urge is intense, remember (and perhaps picture) your benefits of stopping/cutting back (which can be carried in your wallet or purse). Recall a "moment of clarity", a moment when changing your addictive behavior seemed almost without question the right course of action. Think your addictive behavior through to the end:
Take Care Now.
Thanks mrstop, some useful stuff there! 🙂
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
