0 days gf
I'm writing this after my girlfriend has just found out I've taken money out of her account to gamble with....
I can hardly look her in the eye... Why is she still with me?
The deep feeling of shame I feel now is killing me inside..she will never trust me again.
I've blocked all the sites from my phone, but I'm weak, how long will it be until I do it again?
I'm just a weak, lying horrible person who is wrecking his relationship with his perfect girlfriend. I don't know what to do... I should have a counselling meeting soon so that should be the start of my recovery, but how will my relationship recover from this? I've done one of the worst things a guy can do.
I just can't go on like this... I need help.
Why is it so easy to gamble... I'm just a weak horrible person who is not only wrecking his life but also wrecking his relationship. I'll keep posted but I don't hold out much hope.
Hi there and welcome to GC.
You're not weak, you show strength.. otherwise you wouldn't of looked for help!
It's devastating to read that your gf had to find out this way. ..but better now than later! Please offer her support also, on here, in GamAnon..she is not alone as same are not you! GC offers free counselling sessions for you or your OH...it is helpful!
Don't expect trust back...why should you?..can you trust yourself? In your post you don't sound like it and before you think there is judgement here...hardly of any of CG's (me included) can trust themselves..how can we expect trust from others?
Listen, you have a choice. You have help out there. If you want to really make a change you need to walk the walk alongside talking the talk.
This addiction is serious, it won't stop taking..it will strip you down in no time..& not only you! It's ugly habit...its powerful but you can turn things around!
I would suggest putting blocking software on your devices. I use GamBan only for over £10 for a yearly licence..it gives peace back to my mind and works perfectly protecting me when urges strikes.
Keep being honest to your girlfriend, talk about your feelings. Some peer to peer real life support as GA wouldn't go a miss either. Be open, make a change!
Put all the possible blocks down as handing financial control over, providing receipts/ statements to her.
Remember it will not happen over day. You need to be patient and keep making the right choice.
Keep reading around here, many wise advices dotted over these pages, make a use of them. Keep posting also. You're not alone and only YOU can make a difference.
Just for today - make the right choice - abstain & maintain.
Wish you well
S x
Thanks for the comment, I've took a lot away from it and now have that software on my phone.
Hey, well done on taking the advice on board.
Read around and remember you can turn this around. I would suggest contacting GamCare for more advice on how to help yourself and start putting life back on track, here are contact details:
HelpLine - 0800 8020 133. Or if you prefer you can chat 1:1 to an Adviser on the NetLine.
Stay safe, stay honest & Just for today make that right choice!
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