Time to stop

Dear @rs4change ,

I am really sorry to hear you find it more and more difficult to bounce back form the lows of gambling and that you are feeling out of control of yourself at the moment. You are right, it is time to change and it is time to reach out for help. I would definitely recommend you speak to your GP about your low moods, it sounds like you probably would benefit from speaking to a medical professional.

I would also recommend for you to be open to options and try new things, you don't know what will be helpful unless you try it. So I would definitely recommend that you give us a call either over the phone on 0808 8020 133 or our live 1-2-1 Chat here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ the adviser will be able to advise you on strategies and blocks and offer you emotional support. They will also be able to make a referral to treatment support and discuss other forms of help available.

You are also welcome to get in touch with any of our Treatment Teams if there is one in your local area, please look here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/find-local-treatment/

If you have looked around on the Forum you can see that you are not alone, I would definitely recommend that you spend some time reading on here, see what helps and see what's useful in recovery.

Well done for coming on here and posting honestly, please continue to do so this is a good space to 'think out loud' which might also help you not spiralling in terms of your mood. 

Wishing you all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Posted by: Rs4change

but I really need more engaging ways to support me. 

Can anyone assist with a suggestion? I really can’t sustain being this low.

R

Why not try gamblers anonymous ?

Have you confided with your girlfriend or family ?

Have you registered with GAMSTOP ?

Would you consider handing over control of your finances to a loved one

Being here and being aware you have a problem is a good starting point. I am similar to you, and have just completed one month GF with no input other than this forum, and blocking gambling transactions from my bank.

It all depends on you as an individual, but if you are in a position where you WANT to stop, get some blocks in anyway just to remove the temptation, as it would be hassle to get around them and by that point hopefully you will realise what you are doing and stop before making any type of bet.

I have a toxic relationship with money, wanted the big house, sports car, the rolexs, the latest designer clothes / shoes but all of that leads to temporary happiness. I have all that, and when i got it all i was still as unhappy as i ever had been after the novelty wore off. Materialistic stuff is of little relevance in the grand scheme of things. Leading a happy life is worth far more. Would you rather have 10,000 happy memories of great time spent with family / loved ones, or the sadness of sitting behind a screen alone for hours on end wasting your precious time and money? It is a no brainer when you look at it from a literal point of view.

Keep posting here, keep us updated, and rant until your heart is content. You will get responses on here from people who will engage with you directly - hopefully this can help you as it has helped me so far.....

Good luck mate

the main issue with gambling addiction is that it is a mental addiction your own mind becomes your worst enemy and that is the most worrying aspect

For me I think I finally realised this year that the gambling’s not about the money anymore I won £1500 in 10 days earlier in the year and I felt no different to when I had next to nothing in my account

I couldn’t even focus for long enough to work out what to spend it on , all I could think about was gambling more

Once I realised and accepted that gambling was zombifying me and seriously effecting my mental state I realised no win would be big enough to compensate

This has helped me a lot in letting it go I was lucky to be able to walk away with money left in the bank

I haven’t gambled in around 5 weeks and I am a lot happier for it and sleeping a lot better

I don’t want to be going back to a zombie I doubt you do either

Good luck

Hi there 🙂 

You've had some good suggestions already above and as was mentioned the blockers are good but only afford you a little thinking time before you act , that being said there not much good if you're going out deliberately to find way's around them as it's a bit like being on a diet knowing there's a stash of Mar's bar's in the bedside cabinet :(( . 

This my friend is all about you and you're mindset , it's obviously not about the money for you but that's true of myself and any other compulsive gambler on this forum ,  it's simply about the buzz " Win or Lose " . 

There's a mantra we live by " We cannot win because we cannot stop " and any temporary winning's are just    " Gambling token's " that simply keep you in the cycle and grant you that ability to keep on gambling . 

Some people come here completely beaten up by gambling , indeed when I arrived a few yrs ago I'd got to the point of wanting to end it all it got that bad , others that arrive simply want to stop losing, which in a perfect world would be great for a  compulsive gambler but as of yet I don't believe any bookmaker or casino or online site " Does refund's " ??. 

If you truly want to stop then you will but you have to put in the hard work to achieve this , it's not rocket science as you simply have to put enough in front of you and your next bet that you can't gamble ... at least until you gain some strength and self control .......... If block's aren't enough then you really do need to open up and get some support from your nearest and dearest as gambling loves nothing better than secrecy ,,, if it's just your secret then you can just carry on anytime you like but being under scrutiny makes that much more difficult . 

You also need to look at either handing over financial control to someone you trust or at the very least be looking into a bank card that allows no gambling transactions such as " Monzo " ? . 

The biggest piece of advice I could give is to and this is coming from someone who a few years ago couldn't have gone a couple of hours without a bet is to "let it all go " stop seeking revenge for gambling beating you , "it will always beat you " , your addicted mind is telling you that " The next bet will fix everything " but as you well know it never does so draw a line and leave the losses in the past and get on with your future . 

Wishing you well buddy :))

Hi

My addictions and obsessions were just symptoms that I was an emotionally vulnerable person.

In arriving in the recovery program I would understand that I needed to open up and be honest with myself.

The recovery program was going to help me help myself.

Once I put a lot of time and effort in to my recovery and handed over all of my finances and started to abstain my recovery was going to become much easier.

The money was just the fuel for my addiction.

My addictions and obsessions were just symptoms that I was an emotionally vulnerable person.

My addictions and obsessions were a form of escape for me, escape from my feelings, escape from people life and situations I could not cope with.

Until I am admitted to myself that I was unhealthy no one could help me help myself.

The recovery program was a manual to healing my hurt inner child.

My addictions and obsessions were a very unhealthy habit.

I did not know it on first entering the recovery program that I could not do it on my own.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L