Too late to change?

Thank you Dave. Thats very helpful.

I have been put off by GA as I don't think a group discussion would benefit me...but that being said I didn't think Gamban would help me either and its done its job well. 

Im taking it day by day and thankful for each day im not playing. Im on my 4th day now and I actually feel good!

@arw5533 Hi. You say that you have spent years in and out of recovery but then find yourself back gambling. Could you explain what recovery is to you.

Also, how old are you and are you in the U.K.?

Chris.

Posted by: @arw5533

Ive spent 12 years of hell living with a gambling addiction. In and out of recovery...but I always end up back gambling!

Often ask myself whether I enjoy the pain... The nights of despair as I spent money I couldn't afford to have lost...Chase the dragon on one last deposit to get back to even which turns into two or three deposits...sometimes more.

The wins ive had but never cashed out because I always wanted more because I felt it was a "hot" session of slot play. 

Waking up early on payday just to play slots as soon as I got paid. Or even worse one time staking my whole wage and losing it all. 

Wishing that I'd never discovered gambling because for sure if I could do it all again...I certainly wouldn't be gambling ever again. 

 

I find it interesting some people tell you the addiction is lack of self control and too an extent this is right. But the deep down urge to play can be very overpowering and once you get started the fun is over and stopping becomes hard. 

All I want is for this addiction to not exist. Not torment me because right now im feeling low and not wanting to gamble but it won't be long till the other end of the spectrum arrives. 

For me I consider gambling an illness. Something I can never cure and never do again. But with 12 years of my gambling life passed...will it go away. 

Years and years of shameful, dangerous gambling and ive achieved nothing. The only saving grace is ive helped others to stop but yet cannot do it myself and I can't understand why. 

Put yourself in the position of those you have helped to stop. Do the same for yourself 🙂