What's the point?

Woke up this morning with the thought of what is the point in me gambling anymore? 

I don't gamble very often, my stakes are down to P rather than £. I say I am in control of my gambling because I feel I am. Truth be told alone of it is taken out my hands, I'm banned online, I choose not to go to the bookies. Alot of that is I don't want to make up where I'm going to my GF and also no longer have the time to just go there. She has an online account she never uses its set up for me if I ever want a bet so I have to make a deposit to her to put on for me. Again can't often be bothered with saying to her yeah I want a bet so in the end I leave it.

When I do gamble I don't feel the same as I did before, even go as far to say u am now more conscious about my stakes often weighing up the actual chance of me even getting my money back without thought of making a profit.

I will always be a gambling addict, if situations were to ever change could I honestly say I wouldn't do it again, no I couldn't 100% say that as there are a lot of factors in my I'm now in control or maybe because I've let others be in control of that side of me for my own safety.

You can never stop being a gambling addict but you can be better than you were before, you can stop if you put all the right blocks in place, get help and really want to turn things around.

It's not easy, I always admit I haven't lost the amount some people have, but the amount I lost and started drowning myself with payday loans etc was a big amount to me and where I was in my life.

This is something I have been thinking about for a few days so just wanted to get it out my head mainly.

All the best to anyone out there that reads this and good luck in your own journey.