Hi everyone, new member here, Tom. I just thought I'd vent my story as I don't think I've shared it with anyone. I hope that by getting some of my problems out in the open it might help me make some progress.
I'm 29 years old and have gambled for the last 11 years. I know I have a gambling "problem" and a very unhealthy relationship with gambling. Fortunately, it hasn't taken over my life and hit me too hard financially, although I know that some of my personal relationships and also my career have taken a hit.
I started out playing poker online. For the most part, I was very good at it and started making good money from it during uni -- probably tens of thousands. Myself and a friend lived for it, easily playing 8 hours a day, even when we should've been working. Because we were winning, it masked the problem, but there we were gambling day in, day out.
As I became more immersed in the poker world, I also started other forms of gambling, mainly sports betting. Over time my bets got bigger and bigger, and in the end I lost thousands. Most of this was written off against my poker winnings, so financially I wasn't hit too hard.
Over time, I fell out of love with poker. Possibly because I preferred the gambling elements to the game, so I played bigger and faster and became a losing player (it's harder to enjoy when I'm losing). After years of living for online poker, I pretty much gave up over night, only returning to the game once a year or so, and only for small amounts of money.
My sports betting continued, though, and the stakes kept climbing. I also started betting on crazy long odds. I used to save up for the big international tournaments like the world cup, as I wanted to make it the most exciting month ever, by placing bigger and bigger bets.
Most tournaments I'd end up down by a few thousand. Every time, it would be chasing losses. And every time I'd feel sick and promise to leave gambling forever. A few months later, bored on a weekend, I might place an accumulator. In that moment, by giving myself "permission" to bet again, the floodgates opened. Usually quite slowly, but before I know it I'm betting on everything and at ridiculous stakes. I'll lose a few, walk away, then return a few weeks later and so this cycle continues.
I'm now self employed and need to be a self starter, yet I get pre-occupied with finding the right bets to place. Sometimes whole days will pass me by, just because I'm looking for that perfect win. It's quite strange, as in my head I feel like if I win a big bet I will have "made it," even though it would just be a one-off win and my business is my real source of income, which seems to get hurt.
I've never stole, and I've never got into debt with gambling (although it has caused me to be very, very skint at times). For this reason, I've never considered myself a full-on "gambling addict" -- I know plenty of others have bigger problems than me, and I sympathise with that. For years I've acknowledged my bad relationship with it, but because I've been able to keep my losses moderately small I've never acknowledged the extent of my problem.
It's been there to see for some time. My friends sometimes bet, but usually only to make money from a bookmaker bonus. I always say this doesn't interest me as to me gambling is for the rush. I need to have the fear of losing a reasonable amount as well as the opportunity to win big to get the rush I desire. Even saying that out loud shows there is a problem there for all to see!
So why have I waited til now to make this announcement?
The other day I discovered ********. I saw the disclaimer that you could lose more than your deposit but went ahead to try it out. I placed a 20 pound bet on a meaningless tennis match, and accidently gave myself a 2k exposure -- by far my biggest bet, and my fault for not properly understanding the system. Even though I was terrified, the thrill of having so much on the line was like nothing I had ever experienced. Fortunately, I got lucky and won my bet, so I wasn't out of pocket. Afterwards, however, I continued the spreads, giving myself ridiculous exposures with the potential for huge wins, too. Overall I got on a relatively lucky streak and didn't lose anything, but it made me realise that this problem has been slowly escalating for some time.
So now is the time that I want to do something about this. I like gambling a lot, but I think it's time to stop. I just can't gamble in moderation, so it's time to quit it for good. It will help my professional life and also my relationship with my girlfriend. I wouldn't say my gambling has hurt the relationship (she's mostly unaware of the extent of it), but I definitely think it's affecting me which affects my attitude towards our relationship. So now is the time to stop.
For what it's worth, I used to get too drunk with vodka. Again, I'd never refer to myself as a full-on alcoholic as I only drank on nights out, once or twice a month. When I did drink, I overdid it and caused myself problems, though -- nothing too bad at all, but enough for me to want to stop it. One night I just said enoughs enough and I haven't touched vodka since (it's been two years). I've had no problem keeping that up, even when I've had a few beers, so I know I have it in me to fight this.
I've tried closing my gambling accounts, but it's easy enough to re-open them so that doesn't work. I'd be happy to put a block on my bank account for all gambling related activity (is that possible?!). I know this isn't getting to the root of the problem, but I'd be confident that if the easy access bets were blocked, I'd have the self discipline to take care of the rest.
Anyway, thanks for reading anyone who made it this far! Most close friends know most of this, but I always spin the story differently to make the issue seem less severe. This is the first time I've openly admitted it out loud in this way, although I've known inside that I need to get this under control.
Keep fighting the good fight everyone!
Hi Tom and Welcome,
It is great that you`ve come....a lot of people can offer you help or just a listening ear if that`s what you need. My problem isn`t with betting, but I`ve read and heard enough to know they recommend the K9 free software to install on your PC/laptop that will block all betting sites........ Choose a password you won`t remember though ..... You may want to give GA meeting a go? Even if you think you have the willpower to do it alone it is inspirational to hear others`stories as well and you can share your thoughts....... People are all very supportive. Good luck!
Tom im 23 and ive gambled solidly for the last 6 years
bookies , casinos, sports you name it ive done it,
ive expereinced more turmoil from gambling than most would in a lifetime, i racked up 11,000 pounds worth of debt lost my flat , car , a good few birds, havent been on holiday in 2 years , and constantly seem to be borrowing money
my life is a complete and utter joke , and something has to give now before i literally lose the shirt off my back
i urge you too quit whilst you still can
Hi I'd knock it on the head, completely. Gambling to make money is actually very boring, about extreme self-restraint nearly all of the time, as the great majority of bets aren't + EV & therefore not worth making. You mention about bonus 'whoring' & not wanting to do it, even though (initially) there's a few quid in it. You are in it for the buzz of the risk, like a compulsive shoplifier, & sooner or later you are bound to get caught by your recklessness. Therefore you will lose money if you continue. Close your spread betting account it will lead you to nowhere but debt - you don't have the right mindset / characterset to gamble successfully (very few do). You value the thrill of the big risk over the value of money - this will lead to your downfall if you continue. You're doing the opposite of what bookmakers do : if a horse is being heavily-backed they cut the odds, they don't lengthen them ! If a customer is winning too much they close his account or restrict him to penny bets. i.e. they value money over risk.
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