Why does the concept of never betting again scare me?

Dear @daybyday, 

First of all well done for not gambling for 36 hours, every hour gamble free is an achievement. 

You have made a really positive choice in reaching out for support, there are many fantastic forum users that will be able to share their experiences with you and offer valuable advice. 

If you haven't already done so, I would encourage you to speak to one of our advisers. We will be able to offer support, advice and look at some strategies that can help. You can call the helpline 24 hours, 7 days a week on freephone: 0808 8020 133 or can access out live chat function through the Gamcare website.

We look forward to hearing from you, well done again. 

John

Forum Admin

Hey Daybyday

i completely relate! I tell my partner all the time that never gambling again scares the s*** out of me!! What is up with that? 

This way of thinking can be so dangerous as when I do gamble I think this “may be the last time” so stupidly go overboard. I’m in the same boat as you, I gambled Sat night to Sun morning, every part of my body mind and soul is screaming to just do it but we both know how that will end.... More losses and destruction. Somehow we have to find a way to put this s*** life behind us and start living!  I have been religiously combing through the diaries and threads on here and I don’t see one unhappy person that’s stopped gambling or one person that regrets stopping.

the first few months will be tricky but gamblers tend to be resourceful so I think we need to use that to get through.

good luck with your journey!

Em x

See yourself with zero money for food, petrol and bills? That's where you'll be if u gamble.

Hi Daybyday

I signed up to Gamstop and Betblocker a few days ago and doing so scared me senseless. It's like I've forced myself not to gamble. It means I can't gamble online now, full stop. If I hadn't done that I would be gambling now. I believe the best first step any online gambler wanting to quit can take is to sign up to Gamstop.

If you want my advice I will say take a look at Gamstop even if you're not ready and have that option in your pocket ready to go. Then if you have a bad session you'll be ready to sign up. It's really given me some hope and some time to consider what I've been doing. It's given me reason to come on here and get more insight from people who've been through it. I've also just ordered the Allen Carr stop gambling book and I've spent many hours reading positive messages on here. I wouldn't have done any of that stuff if I'd still been able to access online casinos.

Hope this helps.

GB

Posted by: daybyday

The past 3 years of gambling have been hell for me, hundreds lost gambling underage and 10’s of thousands lost since turning 18. 20+ payday loans, a few credit cards, a maxed out overdraft. Gambling killed my education completely but I’m determined to not let it ruin my life. 

If I want to quit, it has to be now. I’ve worked 13 days in a row and I am preparing for another 11. The amount of hours I’m working means I can afford to pay off nearly all credit card debt and all my loans except a debt consolidation loan from Halifax (which is a low interest loan so that’s fine, not a scummy payday one)

Why is it so scary for me to never bet again? I have relapsed everytime I quit and I can’t get that feeling out of my head when I first gamble again. First it’s guilt but then it’s pure enjoyment. And then there’s 6 months of financial turmoil losing thousands. Any tips? 

Currently haven’t gamble for around 36 hours, which is big for me because I have funds (very few funds) available on a credit card I could deposit with. I have to end this now. Thanks

Hi

What would I do once I gave up my addictions and my obsessions I would have to face myself and face other people.

My addictions and my obsessions were a form of escaping of deviating facing myself and avoiding facing to myself how much pain I was suppressing.

By attending the spiritual recovery program I would in time learn to abstain from unhealthy habits.

Yet at one point would I admit to myself my hurt inner child,  at what point would I start to heal my pains and face my fears.

By attending the spiritual recovery program I would learn to abstain and then get in to healthy habits.

Honesty is the best policy I use to laugh at that line, as a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it.

In the recovery program I complimented on admitting  the last date I gambled even if it was that day.

I complimented for my honesty not because I went back to gambling.

Did I think that I feared giving up my ways of escaping, did facing myself seem impossible.

Today I do not want to waste my money or my time, I do not want to hurt myself or hurt other people.

Gambling for me is very unhealthy, it is a way of self destruction, other can gamble that is their choice.

Gambling is the very last thing I want to do with my life.

I am anon religious person yet today I am a much healthier spiritual person.

To not Gamble and get healthy or to Gamble and cause myself and others pain and suffering.

I was emotionally traumatized long before my addictions and my obsessions.

Because I was emotionally traumatized as a child it adversely affected my ability to learn absorb information and retain information.

I left school at 15 years of age with no qualifications what so ever, no English no Maths nothing.

I have been in the recovery program since 1969 I was about 21 22 years of age.

Since being in my recovery I have learned Electronics, I have learned how to use tools, how to repair equipment, I have done several jobs involved with all kinds of qualified skills.

I have learned how to communicate healthy interactions with all kinds of people.

I understand that being unhealthy I reacted in such unhealthy ways, I have identified so many fears I can live my life without fears inhibiting me today.

I use to fear talking at meetings, now I do talks at recovery center.

I use to fear being myself.

The choice is mine today, to be healthy or self destructive.

The choice is mine today, to be a talker or be a walker.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

The blunt reality is that all the time whilst you’re controlling your funds you will gamble.

yea may pay a chunk off but then one itch could change all that.  

the fact your getting payday loans shows how serious a situation you have been in.  

id remove your access to funds ASAP and join Gamstop if you really want to break the cycle.  Otherwise you’ll be posting this same thing again in 5 years time....that’s from experience 

Indeed why does it initially worry us to stop gambling? 

Its because we were addicted and it acts like a drug addiction. We craved something that was actually harming us so strong parallels can be drawn with class A behaviour and heavy drinking.

It took me 10 months after joining the forum to finally do something properly to get it sorted. I didnt realise how addicted I was.

The reasons gamble free initially worries us is because we crave to return to the feeling of gambling. It becomes a lifestyle...I was bored of doing anything else which shows how ill I was.

We see it as the way of chasing back the losses even though it doesnt really work like that. I had all sorts of crazy schemes in my head to get back £3+ per day but if it worked like that the gambling dens would be out of business. There is no scheme to get it back in small or large amounts.

We were deluded about reality and didnt want to face the truth. The truth about our lives and who we are. Gambling was always a drug of escape for me

The feeling of expectation adrenaline is primordial within us only we lost are way on how to feel this doing wholesome pursuits or having a relationship.  For some even a good relationship isnt enough because the drawn of the gambling fix is that strong

Some people do extreme sports to get an adrenaline fix. They are braver than me and and I envy them in a way.

The only way is abstention and full blocks monitored by people close. My life is so much better gamble free. How can I get through to you??

I have money now...I have a rainy day fund and its a very nice feeling.

You can do it but it's got to be done properly

Best wishes from everyone on the forum