100 days. Still going strong.

Day 117.

Today has been a really good day for me. My car had its service and MOT today. It originally failed the MOT by virtue of a rear brake light that was out, but I knew it would because I knew the light was out and highlighted it when I dropped it off at 8:30am.

Whilst I was waiting for my car to be done I went and donated blood. It was my 28th donation and something that I always find fulfilling, especially given I have a rare blood type.

To add to the expense of the day, my car insurance was up for renewal. Having been given my quote, I managed to actually negotiate a cheaper premium and managed to pay it all on one go. This was significant for me because last year, because I was struggling so much with my debt, I ended up having to pay for my premium monthly.

Then I got the call about my car. The service was done and my car needed new brake pads. I braced myself for the eye watering figure that would follow, only to be told that, because I was a regular customer with them, they'd looked into my purchase history and saw that my brake pads were under warranty, so we're changed for nothing. Music to my ears. It meant that the additional cost of my car after the MOT and service was £12.50.

To top off what was a good day, I received an email in the early evening telling me that I'd received a mark of 89% for my first University assignment. Absolutely delighted with that, especially given my University course very much too a back seat to my gambling over the years. I've duly rewarded myself by buying myself a new pair of trainers.

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Stay strong. 💪🏾

@g4pv3yauqm Sounds like a great motivational plan to aim for Jay. A treat not only for you but also for your wife!👏👏👏.

Keep up the great work of remaining g.f.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 120.

Approaching the end of my week off work and it's been lovely to just relax and do very little.

Yesterday I visited my youngest son's school fayre but a conversation we had at my GA meeting a couple of weeks ago made me wary about it. We had a discussion about 'grey areas' and things that could considered gambling without you thinking it. During this discussion raffles and T*****a's were mentioned, 2 things that would be present at the fayre. Whilst I made sure I didn't have a go on the raffle and T*****a myself because I'd hate to have lost my non gambling streak over something so menial, my son did have a go (he even won 5 bottles of wine on the T*****a for my wife 😂).

This has played on my mind since. I've never even thought about something like that being considered gambling until that GA session and now it's got me wary about other things that could, inadvertently, be classed as gambling.

Anyway, another day done. Onto the next. 💪🏾

Day 125.

Been a very busy week since my last update. The impending Christmas period and my job in retail mean I've been very busy with work and my shifts are all over the place, but at least it's keeping me busy.

I received the result of my first University assignment the other day and was delighted to have received 89%. Proof putting the gambling behind me and focusing on my studies is worth it.

Yesterday I reached the 4 month gamble free mark and to celebrate this my wife and I went into Birmingham to have a meal and then went to a comedy gig.

Today is another payday and another month in which I finished the month in the black and not the red. I also had another call with my one to one support and she commented on how well I've been doing in my recovery and said I wouldn't need the call any more, which is a huge boost.

Hope everyone is still staying strong.

Jay.

Love it Jay. I got a similar score in my first assignment this year too. Just goes to show what we can achieve if our heads are not full of gambling thoughts.

4 months has flown by. Great to see you reaping the benefits and mending bridges with the good lady. I'm sure you've got a bit more grovelling to do yet though!!

Keep up the good work buddy. Love seeing you helping others out in the chatrooms. 

Stay strong 👍  

@g4pv3yauqm Well done Jay on a great exam result!👏👏👏. The things we are capable of when our mind is clear of anything gambling related!

It’s a great feeling isn’t it, when those g.f paydays mount up and our online bank accounts are just looking “normal and healthy”👌.

I am glad to read that you are treating yourself and also spending some quality fun time with your wife too👍.

Keep up the great work.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Well done on the 4 month milestone. I know it must be hard work but I hope you are enjoying the benefits of not gambling.

I too worry about the grey areas. I bought some raffle tickets but as the proceeds were going to charity and I couldn't win anything of much value, so didn't care whether I won or lost, I let myself off. My partner said it was fine but I don't know.

Well done also on the exam. Great that you found something positive to do. I have been concentrating on running. Have a 10 mile race to do in the morning. I could do with exercising my brain a bit more.

Its amazing how quick the milestones creep up on me. I'm also over the 100 day mark for the first time in over 25 years. I try to remember to reward myself. I also bought myself some new trainers as a reward.

I have been keeping my own personal diary but I worry about sharing it because things have been going so well I don't like to change my approach. This is probably the sort of superstitious thing that caused me problems in the first place. 

I hope you and your family enjoy a gamble free Christmas and have a good 2025.

Thanks Fish, Pink and BeenToFrance for your kind words and support. As always, they are very much appreciated.

Day 128.

The end of another gamble free weekend and another one that has been very enjoyable.

First off, I've enjoyed the football this weekend with both United and my local non league side winning, with the latter booking their place in the FA Cup 3rd round as a result.

Being the 1st of December, it was also time for our yearly family tradition. Every year, on the first weekend of December, we put up our Christmas tree. The kids decorate it (and depending on how bad it looks, we re-decorate it) and then in the evening my wife and I watch one of our favourite Christmas films, 'Love Actually', so that's my evening sorted.

Stay strong everyone. 💪🏾

Been a while since I updated this but, being in retail at Christmas, work has been ridiculously manic for me over the last few weeks and my shifts have been all over the place. Anyway, back to another update.

Day 150.

Despite the stresses of Christmas in retail, I'm proud to say that I'm still gamble free, almost hitting the 5 months mark. Despite working constantly over the last few weeks I have actually managed to do other things to relax with the family.

Last week I took my children to Breakfast with Santa, which they thoroughly enjoyed and we also took them to a Pantomime.

I also completed, and had back, my second Open University assignment. 85%, which I'm obviously delighted with. 

I'm looking forward to having 3 days off for Christmas after my shift today and spending some much needed quality time with my wife and children. Will hopefully be able to jump on the chatroom a bit more too now Christmas is almost 'out of the way'.

Thanks everyone for all the support up to this point and I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.

Stay strong. 💪🏾💪🏾

@g4pv3yauqm Hi Jay.  Just wanted to say well done on hitting the 150 day mark 👏👏👏.  Also, wishing you a very Merry Christmas and what sounds like a much needed/deserved break with your family. 🎄

All the very best as we head into 2025 🙏.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Once again, it's been a bit of a gap between my last update and this. The Christmas madness, but also my wariness of updating for the sake of updating and not actually having anything to really say also played a bit of a part. Anyway, on to it.

Day 171

This Christmas just gone was my first gamble free Christmas since I can remember and my first one since my addiction really took hold 7 years ago and what a wonderful one it was too. Being able to sit on my sofa on Christmas morning, watching my children open their presents and not be hating myself inside because I've blown another load of money I didn't have the night previously on those dreaded slots, it worrying about what my next bet was going to be was absolutely wonderful. Just being present in the moment made me realise just how much I'd sacrificed just to be able to gamble. Never again.

In other aspects of my recovery, I made the decision to stop attending GA meetings. I'd been thinking for a while that I didn't want to attend anymore and that they weren't actually helping me at all. Quite often they wouldn't have anyone to chair them and we'd all just sit there, do our shares (in which people would usually say there were no issues and move straight on) and that would be it. I was at the point where I felt going to GA meetings was a chore and not a way for me to get help and support. Part of the reason I kept going for longer than I probably wanted to was because when I first came clean, it was one of the stipulations my wife gave me for sticking around and supporting me. I was actually worried about broaching the subject with her but she was actually more open about it than I expected and actually give her credit for. She told me that I should be going about my recovery for myself and nobody else and if I wasn't finding the meetings useful then I shouldn't go. She doesn't know how much I appreciate her saying that to me, especially as I don't think she's entirely comfortable with it if she was being honest with me. My one to one call sessions have also come to an end because my one to one support help has decided my recovery is going so well I don't need them anymore and instead referred me to the Epic Restart support team for further recovery. My wife did make a comment about me losing all my support networks in one go and having nothing in place if I was to relapse. I understand exactly where she is coming from, but I can't stress to her enough how much I am done with gambling. My physical hatred of it continues to grow stronger. I get angry when I see adverts on TV and I genuinely don't even think about gambling most of the time now. I just have to make sure I don't get complacent with it, I know I do.

Speaking of Epic Restart, they sent me an email today saying they had my referral and someone would be in touch to discuss further my options but I registered with them and had a look around. They have online group sessions once a week which I will look to attend and see what they're like. Maybe they can be a better alternative to GA.

In my last bit of positive news, my credit score continues to creep up little by little. It's not great by any means but it's getting there. I'm continuing to end the month with money in the bank and approach my 6 month mark in positive mood and with continued optimism.

If you've made it this far, I thank you.

Take care. 💪🏾

@g4pv3yauqm What a lovely read Jay! 👏👏. So happy for you that you are sticking to your plan of never wanting to gamble again.  It is also lovely that your wife is so supportive 🩷. This in itself is a blessing. I have an extremely understanding/non judgmental sister, who has supported me through thick and thin and whom I am so grateful to have. I appreciate that not everyone on here has such positive support.

Keep up the good work and wishing you a Happy New Year!🙂.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 185, and it's a Biggie...

That's right, my next milestone is here; 6 months gamble free.

It genuinely doesn't feel like 5 minutes since I entered this site for the first time and made my introduction post. Where I laid everything on the table for all to see. Where instead of criticism and disgust, I got nothing but support.

6 months since I entered the chat room for the first time and realised that there were others just like me. Others who wanted to stop the rut this addiction had gotten us into. 6 months since I found I had a whole new set of supporters and allies.

There is a to be thankful for and a lot has changed during these last 6 months, mostly for the better. My marriage, which I was certain was doomed from the minute I told my wife the truth, it still going stronger than ever. My wife, who when I first came clean, used to ask me things like "why did you do it?" and "why couldn't you just stop?"  now tells me regularly how proud she is of me. I know I'm supposed to be doing this primarily for me, and I am, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doing it for her too. We talk far more now than we ever used to, where we'd both bottle things up, or not be completely honest with each other. Now there are definitely no secrets in our marriage. It's fantastic.

I've tried, and since given up, GA meetings, had one to one peer support and I'm just about to start getting lived experience support from Epic Restart. Each experience has given me something positive on this journey of recovery and I'm glad I've given them a go, even if they haven't all worked out that well.

My finances are improving little by little. My wife still gets all my money on payday, barring the little bits I need for bills and my 'allowance' but every month I'm getting to the end with more and more money left. Such a great feeling. My debts are continuing to go down and my credit score is rising slowly but surely.

I'm looking forward to hitting my next big milestone, the 1 year mark. Where hopefully things will be continuing to improve, especially financially. I'm still pushing for a promotion at work, which I hope will come soon enough and I'm also hoping I'll be able to pass my uni module. So many positive to look forward to.

Thanks to everyone who has been with me on this journey so far. You've all been a huge help to me. I'll be forever grateful.

Stay strong. 💪🏾💪🏾

Jay. x

Huge congratulations Jay. You are one of the guys on here who says it like it is, helps others, and offers some great advice in the chat room.

It was great to read this tonight. Well happy for you, and so glad your relationship is getting stronger. You are a lucky man.

Congrats again mate. Hopefully catch up in the chat room soon 💪

@g4pv3yauqm Fabulous Jay 👏👏👏. I wish you nothing but happiness for yourself and your family.  Keep up the great work 💪🙏.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.