18TH JAN 2013 - Time to let go.

Really sorry to hear of your slip. But a great post. Really showing how strong and determind you are. I have every faith that that is all it was a moment of madness. I agree also its not now day one it's still day 200+ but just with one slip and that is fantastic going. Keep doing what your doing you know how to beat this. I will just say I've had alot of slips in my time and I always did find it really tough straight after one, hopefully you'll be different but I would just be extra carefull in the next week or so. Take care and I can't help but say well done. I know it's a slip but how you've bounced back is excellent and you should be proud.

Thanks Dave

I must admit, It does make me feel better psychologically and for motivational purposes saying (212 days - one slip) rather than thinking (day 1/week 1)!!

I will have a think about how I will best describe my gamble free period in my diary. Already, it is making me feel better saying " 212 days minus one moment of madness" That is exactly what it was. As people say, it is our diary to use how we wish. In a way, just thinking about heading up my posts in this way, is giving me a long term goal to think about in that come next August, I can say "One year bet free" and then leave out the one moment of madness bit. See how it goes maybe? What do other people think about this?

Take care all.

Feb.

I think you hit the nail on the head, it's your diary and you have to use it the way you wish to and do things that will help your recovery along. I think that might be the way to go 212 days - one moment of madness. Especially if you feel better putting it like that. If you feel tho that seeing day 1/2/3 etc will keep you more determined to get back up to day 50/100/200 then that maybe the way to go but that's up to you. I have done the day 1 after a slip and sometimes it has felt like I may as well gamble again as I'm only day 12 and I'm not really worried about going back to day 1 from there. But as I said at the start, have a think, see what others say and do what ever you feel will help you the most, just remember you got to 200 days, you know how to do this. Have that belief in yourself and you'll soon be flying along once again. I think you've handled this brilliantly and I cant wait to see you in a months time with this slip a distant memory and things moving forward once more. With a lesson learnt and more ammo for the fight and more knowledge that your doing the right thing.

Thanks Dave.

Feb.

WEEK 32. DAY 216 (Minus one moment of madness)

OR:-

WEEK 1. DAY 4????

Still not sure what to go for based purely on motivational purposes. One is reminding me that I had just one small slip in over 7 months, whilst the other is taking it right back re-doing the usual milestones!! I am now swaying towards the latter maybe?? Advice from anyone would be grateful thanks

Feb - determined as ever on "The Bright Side of the Road"

Hey Feb,

You sound like you really beating yourself up here. Listen it's only f***** up tiny slip! You doing so great, you know what happened to you and i'm sure you will try to not let it happen again. Keep counting ur weeks, don't dwell on madness moment....forget it.

You are strong as rock, keep it up girl

P.s. if it makes it easier for you, just keep putting both dates on...

Please let it go and stride sure steps forward like you did all these months....you can do it:-)

We are here to support you

Believe in yourself

It WILL NOT happen again

Sandra x

Day at a time xx

WEEK 1.

Right, that's it!! Have made my mind up!! Couldn't rest until I did!! Before my 'moment of madness' I noted that at the very least, I would write in my diary once per week every Saturday and since my slip, I have considered just putting number of weeks down so I will start from today as it's Saturday, as week 1.

I will not settle for anything less than to get to week 52 as my main motivational goal with a little 4 month mini goal thrown in, which will take me nicely up to Christmas Eve!! Also of course, my usual mini goals along the way, which I think will be very simple but straight to the point!!

Confused.Com or what!! But I think I might have finally just settled this one in my mind, taking all things into account.

Bear with me everyone - I think I am still in a state of shock!!

Not to worry too much though.

Feb - Standing to attention on "The Bright Side of the Road".

Lady Feb.

Sorry to read you found yourself in the grip of addiction again my friend. Take great heart in the fact that you stopped and found the resolve to arrest your addiction.

Regards your counting days i will say this. Through experience of seeing many diaries counting days is something that works for some and not others. It is truly spoke. For some counting shows the distance between the last bet and freedom from addiction. With each day added another milestone is layed. For others counting has an adverse affect to count is like saying i am x amount of days until my next bet. The bottom line is there is no right or wrong way, we are all in the same position.

It is about today we are all in the same boat. Today is the day that is the most important. Today we have a choice to make, through that choice we can gift ourself the opportunity to better our tomorrow.

We can't change the past Feb. We can learn from it.

You did and for that i am so pleased for you because you did better your tomorrow.

I believe personally that starting the count again is the best way. As writing 1slip each entry gifts addiction too much credit, it gifts it the wrong respect, one which we all know only to well it will use to it's advantage.

Don't let that happen you are worth so much more.

Your presence upon this forum has been of great value most importantly to you but to many other folk too.

Keep up the good work.

Put your past behind you.

Be kind to yourself.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Feb,

Well done on getting back on the recovery boat straight away. It would have been so easy to just disappear into obscurity and never post again.. or return several months later under a new name and deeper in the proverbial s**t.

I understand the difficulties of how to represent one's recover after a slip. I have been through a similar process to you i.e. many months free and then a slip and then the debate in my mind about how to incorporate the slip into the count. To start again or the slip in brackets.

What ive found over the years that is that I ultimately return to one day at a time. I am on day 279 since last gamble. If I gamble I go back to day 1 but that doesn't mean I go back to the start of my recovery as a slip is all part of the learning curve. Whatever works for you keep doing it.

Anyway am rambling. The shock will pass and that gambling event will soon recede into history. Onwards and forwards... S.A 🙂

Thanks Sandra, Duncs and SA for your thoughts/advice - much appreciated.

Feb.

Thanks for you support, Feb.

I too have definitely had moments of weakness over the past couple of weeks. Doubts mainly and also close calls. Am I doing the right thing? Should I continue? Should I start gambling again? etc. In any event, had I have gambled, I most likely would not have enjoyed it. I feel blessed not to have gambled, but even if I would have done, I'd come right on here as you have done and continued my recovery.

I feel very guilty in a way, as I feel I've been fairly strong to a point with the urge to gamble, brushing it aside for months. I dread to think of others such as yourself becoming lax in recovery because I got that illusory urge to bet. I apologize if this has been the case with me, as even though I felt the need to post, sometimes posts on here could in part be triggers for others. I just feel my last few posts on here might have not helped others. Maybe I'm paranoid though too. 🙂

Well anyway, you came back. Onwards with recovery. Remember the years you were trapped in it... Now remember the months you've been free it. Think a little on it. Sometimes I just don't think we realize how lucky we are to be out of that nightmare existence we had before. We are very lucky to be at where we our at right now in our lives.

Sending good vibes your way. Have a lovely Bank Holiday Monday and week ahead.

-Alex

Hi feb thanks for your entry in my diary. Sorry to read of your slip, like you im back to square one i was gambling on my mobile as well, can you tell me which blocker you use as i cant seem to find one

Thanks take care and good luck xx

Hi Feb,

Keep looking at it in a positive way girl. You know you can do it and stay strong. Get up, dust yourself and keep racking those weeks and months back up.

I will never forget our first live chat here.....i was worried about my first wage and you just told me that life couldn't get better when you have spare cash in your pocket and don't waste it every time you get paid...

Thank you....and i know you will be alright, you are stronger than you think. Believe in yourself!

All the best and take care

Sandra x

Hey LF,

hope to catch up on the chat soon, I do miss ya!! Obviously well done for all the great work to get to this point, but if I have it right with you, I would say that you are cruising now, keep it up!!

Phil

Hi LF

Hope you're doing OK my friend.

Take care

QI

x