2010

Hi Jasmine,

I have just read your post on my recovery diary and it makes perfect sense to me what you have just said.

From now on I am gona be determined to put myself first from now on.

Thank you so much for your support, I very much appreciate it Jasmine.

I wish you all the best aswell

Take care x

Hi Jas

Maybe your daughter doesnt realise how lucky she is having a Mum like you.

Interested in your dream interpretation, will give some thought to that, what I could cut out of my life.

Will concede that we are now level again!

Forever Love

Pay day in Jasmine's household is like groundhog day.

I have a budget spreadsheet and all the monthly outgoings are transferred onto my money programme which is a reflection of our bank statement.

It's always the same. All accounted for, every penny. Yes, it's getting paid off but it's hard sometimes when I am scrimping and saving and moving stuff around just so I can get 1 piano lesson in the month(£13). I have had to cancel a couple and given made up excuses. In a way I wish I could just say I'm skint....but I am too proud. I suppose i could give up but it's my only hobby...my only expense actually.

I opened a saving account when I started my recovery back in April...only a small amount each month but that is worth the earth to me and I am not going to touch it until all this gambling debt is out of the way. Then I will buy something special to remind me of my successful ongoing recovery from gambling addiction.

I am feeling sorry for myself. There are many, many people in worse positions than myself but I guess I am just really angry with myself for getting into this mess.

Tomorrow will be different....it always is after payday. Once everything has been taken out and that money is no longer there, in a weird way I will feel better.

Bye for now.....Jas xx

jasmine,thanks for the positive post on my diary,it always gives me extra confidence to know there is someone encouraging my fight... i always look forward to a pay day :-)but then when things get paid im miserable again 🙁 good idea starting a savings account,saying that the wee bit i save could go towards getting my creditors down a wee bit...catch 22 for me, though my councillor did say sometimes its nice to give yourself a wee treat for not betting..have a good weekend..

Thanks for the post Winning ....going to go out and treat myself to some chocolate...at least I can afford that! I deserve a treat 🙂

Im sure it is hard at times but you know where you are, and you have a plan therefore you can also see the end.You really seem to be doin such a brill job!

Well done keep it up

micheal42

Hi Jas

You want to work for me? You could manage my monthly accounts if you like seeing as you are so good at it yourself. (As long as you leave me enough for my advance bets and buying special presents for my friends like you )

Thanks for offer of going out, may take you up on that sometime if you are serious.

P.s. have already had counselling and it didnt do me much good, being on here has been miles better.

I would pay you £50 a month ( gross ).

Vision Of Love

Hi Jasmine,

I am not sure we have met I am quite new to this..I have been reading your diary from day one and it sounds like you are very intelligent.. hey gameshows..yh I like them too..but I dont think I have ever got in to that side of gambling..although I started gambling from a very young age..on the friuties..yh they put me in prison because I was a thief for many years and I ruined my life through multiple addictions...(not gameshows) I managed to kick all of my habits stay out of prison...got into bookies roulette and then casinos (online) and when I had a bad day in bookies just come home eyes wide open straight on to **********...and go all in regardless of what cards were down (b4 the flop) just to lose?..throw it away?..I dont know why because level headed im o.k but as soon as I lose that is it..concetration and focus outta the window...anyway I dont want to go on and on...I just thought I would say hello and introduce myself..and I will get back to reading the rest of your diary..I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP!

take care. together we are strong!

Hi Kidd.....I will read your diary and try my best to support you. Thanks for posting on my diary :-))

I am just home from visiting my little bro. He's not so little (weight training etc...) but he is still my lovely brother.

He is a highly successful defence solicitor but has been through total hell with gambling addiction (since 16 yrs). It's all been kept very private and I have always protected him. I have a hunch he is gambling again. What the f*** is it with my family? A sister who I adore is a cg and my bro and me.

I have come home and although happy to see him, feel uncertainty. I have helped him, financially, so many times that it's left me drained. There's only so much one can do.

I came home and my daughter said my sister had rung for me........and it sounded like she was at the casino.....she rang my mobile......I'm not bringing a £500 like I used to.....just in case the jackpot came in..........no more.

I can be there for my siblings but I can't influence what path they decide to take. Tomorrow will be different....I know that now. I am so much stronger than before and I can deal with this.

I have paid everything and for that I am grateful. The double whammy of interest on loans and the cash/life lost on gambling is, at times, unbearable.

Life goes on though. Struggle through. Ups, Downs, Mega Ups, Major Downs......I'm looking for a sustained period of LEVEL. It's just around the corner.

I will add this as it is something I have thought about for some time.

I try my best to be non-judgemental but it can be difficult. By nature, I have a challenging personality. I was in chat this evening and I asked someone how they were. No reponse. This is not the first time. This person is in chat all the time "listening"...perhaps using some of the chat for college.uni work? I don't really know the motive but it just makes me feel uncomfortable and that is why I am recording this on here. I would hate to be used and through karma I suggest you don't.

Paranoid maybe...no, I don't think so. Intuitive, definitely.

Hi Jasmine,

I was in chat on Wednesday and something similar happened. I hope I am wrong but I do think you may have the right instincts here. I am sorry to hear about your little brother struggling with cg too. My big sis always used to tell me jokingly that 'god didn't give me any common sense, he gave me a big sister instead'. May be some truth in that I think lol. You must feel very protective over him and I really feel for you.

Keep positive and stay strong

Steve.

Hi Jasmine,

Yes, it must be tough when having a brother and sister with gambling issues also. But it is so true that the bottom line is that all we can do is concentrate on ourselves. family members just like anyone else will address their gambling issues when and if they are ready. I guess am lucky that nobody in my family gambles at all.. just the lottery occasionally.

Yes, am totally the same thinking with support groups. I like a serious group talking about gambling issues with a little humour to lighten the mood as and when and use to feel frustrated with groups because either a. nobody speaks or b. its like any old chat room on the internet talking rubbish. Also I think its rude to go into a support group and not speak and not even say to the group that one just wants to listen ( I acknowledge that for some people it can seem daunting to open up). Anyway for those reasons and a few others I don't use them anymore.

Thanks for your support over the months. I am slowly getting back to my usual self after recent events. Cheers.. S.A 🙂

Cleaned my fridge....woopie dooo

Now going to have brunch.

Rang my sister and I could just tell from her voice she is down....not just in mood but with "gambling down". What can I do? Nothing....tried to chat but pretty unresponsive. She will come round...I hope one day to my way of thinking.

It's a really dull, awful day here and i am going to make myself go and have a wander around the shops.....virtual shopping as I have zilch cash.

have a relaxing weekend all....Jas xx

You must be posh - brunch?!

Nice way to spend a weekend day though - may there be many more days like it for you!

Matt

Hi Jas

I think your sis one day could swap her gambling for fridge cleaning lol.I wish my missus would go virtual shopping once in a while, but no for her it has to be the real thing.Keep up the good posting Jas .All the best Jeff.