2010

ahhhhhhh u know something jas, that touched something for me there

my daughter left home when she was 16, and returned back to live with us about 2 years ago or so, after a relationship break up.

its been brilliant having her at home, and on a very regular basis i think about how lucky i am to have her at home. we spend a lot of time together - her work shifts allowing.

However, my father in law has just moved out of his home, and in to sheltered housing. My daughter is going to live in his house. the very very selfish part of me doesnt want her to leave. It will take a few months to get his house sorted, and rental agreements put in place etc, but i know the day that she moves out again will be such a sad day for me

the joys of being a mum - eh??

love

rusty

xx

Jas,i don't post on your diary often,i do however read it pretty much most days,just wanted to give you my perspective on your Daughters gambling.......,my grandfather was like me a compulsive gambler,and i often wonder if i somehow inherited my problem from him(ithink i did),my eldest Daughter who is currently at Uni as a mature student(even though she is only 25,this counts as a mature student)has a problem with drinking,she just can't go a day without drinking and when she goes out will always get drunk.....,she also suffers from severe anxiety attacks(as i do)......,my other children don't have these problems...did she inherit this from me? (out of all of my children she is the spitting image of me)....,so,i think you are right to be concerned,and i also feel that you and P will need to make her very aware of how this illness can creep up on us.I hope this post hasn't added to your concerns,that is not my intention.

Seano.

Hello Jas,

that must be so worrying! the part that makes me uneasy is the reason your daughter gave for gambling. Boredom and isolation can be dealt with in constructive ways too, but if you are using gambling to cope with them - ouch!

I can totally understand why you are so worried, although I am not a mother myself. Perhaps it might help to talk through some tips on how to keep safer - putting deposit limits on her account, knowing how to recognise the signs of CG etc. Perhaps ideas on how better to deal with feelings of isolation and boredom too.

One good thing is you will have lots of experience to draw on!

Hey, hopefully its nothing. Its good that she talks to you about it.

Take care,

f x

Hi,

Well the dreary and cold weather has returned...no surprise there then. Feel totally knackered as I have been dreaming all night. You know the sort of dreams where you shout out and wake everyone up.

My recovery diary seems to be more about personal stuff rather than gambling recovery issues. Perhaps that is how it goes? As recovery becomes stronger other issues take precedent. In the past all the stuff I think about now would never have been dealt with properly. It would have been ignored as my gambling would have hidden it.

I have a very busy week ahead as this is my daughters 21st birthday week. There will be loads of peeps visiting to see her and we are going for a spa day on Wednesday.

Gambling is the furthest thing from my mnd right now and for that I am grateful.

Stay strong everyone.

Jas x

Hi Jas

Soz to hear about troubles with your daughter. Soz also for not posting for a while but I dont have same inclination at the moment. 12 weeks random free and not being complacent but doing ok right now.

I wouldnt worry about you posting normal things on your diary and not gambling stuff, if thats what helps just keep doing it. I think all of us on here just need to do whatever it takes in our own way.

This site has been great for me and the only thing wrong is the preachers on it who think there is only one way of succeeding. They are just so far up their own a**e.

Speak soon on chat Jas, you are a good friend to me and many others.

Well the build up to my daughters 21st in under way and the flow of visitors has started.

My sis came last night with my niece and nephew and it was really lovely have a nice chat and cream cakes too.

This evening the "boyfriend" is coming over and his Mum wants to meet me and P. Oooh...scary. Better not be too hyper!

Chatting to my daughter and they definitely have a different mindset to when i was young. At 21 they actually talk about feeling older..being worried about ageing! I have never had any issues with my age and I still...am known...on occasion.....to behave very immature...lol

I had better push the hoover round and flick the feather duster over as we have "boyfriends" Mother coming!

Feel excited and happy today. Gambling....what gambling?

Jas x

Hello Diary,

Have had a full on few days and have just found time to surf some of the diaries on here. It's almost a year now since I found this site and it has been instrumental in my recovery. I feel I have learnt so much about this addiction, how to deal with it and how other's deal with it. It's tough getting your head around some of the issues but it's all worth it in then long run.

My life is a million times improved on this time last year. Gambling had a stranglehold of me and was slowly but surely killing eveything about me. Bit by bit it was taking the lot. I am really proud that I am back to me...well almost. Still have downers but life is far more grounded now. I am no longer hooked on that dopamine high. My recovery will be an ongoing process for the forseeable future and I am fine with that. I accept this fact now, although I do not dwell on it. I am only one year into paying off my gambling debts but that's good in my eyes...I am forging ahead and I will succeed in clearing the lot. I can't wait for the day when I write on my diary FREE OF GAMBLING DEBT. That's one of my motivators.

My older brother came round today to bring a gift for my daughter. He missed her as she has gone down to Plymouth for a few days. He said he was going to put a bet on a couple of horses and did i want a go. I just...calm as anything said...no thanks..I have a problem with gambling....and he just carried on telling me his jokes and talking about his new bike. I felt really good having the strength to say this to him. It felt good, very good indeed. Just accepting and acknowledging.

Hoping for a nice weekend. Viewing a property tomorrow as my itchy feet are still itchy. Life is moving along nicely now. Going out to celebrate my daughter's 21st tomorrow...in her absence. Should be fun 🙂 No, WILL be fun!

Jas x

Hi Jas--I do think that sometimes we think that problem gambling is a big issue with others because it is with ourselves. I have found that if you do actually talk to friends and relatives about it they do not usually find it quite the same as we do. It seems as if your brother also sees your situation similarly.

Hope you find a nice place if you want to move--my daughter has been trying to sell her house since November but has not even had anybody to look at it yet.

Hi Jas,

thanks for your post, I am happy that you are happy.

This journey is personal to each of us but you are absolutely right, it has to be a way of life forever.

Great to be able to say that a year of the gambling debts are gone 🙂

have a great weekend, the sun is shining and the future is bright for both of us I'm sure.

love to you and P

W xxx

Beautiful day.

No gambling issues or thoughts. Have a good weekend everyone.

Jas x

Is it a year? Time flies. I recall when you first came here. How far you have come. It`s been a pleasure sharing your recovery and I think you have done seriously well.

Your bir, Graham

Hi Jasmine,

Glad you are feeling strong. It sometimes takes people a while to cotton on that we are serious about the change we have made. Its probably not the first time you have told your brother you have a problem with gambling, but he obviously doesn't really 'get' it, that you cant gamble at all.

I reckon it did feel good too, saying no like that. Good for you!

You are one of the inspiring ones for me on here, as you have held your resolve consistently. I don't seem to have got the hang of it totally yet, but I reckon I will get there in the end.

Hope you enjoyed the sunshine 🙂

f x

lol....just wrote a load and then lost it! Isn't it annoying when that happens?

Feeling rough...self inflicted. drinking woo woos.

Thanks to G and f 🙂 for your kind posts.

All good here. Decided not to move after all. P just bought me a pink magnolia to mark our daughter's 21st...thought that was rather sweet. Going to plant my tomatoes now and do some gardening. Then I think I will have an afternoon nap.

My nephew is 14 next week. My gambling started when my sis was pregnant with him. 14 years for the addiction to gradually escalate. I know it is always there if i choose to go back but I am choosing life right now.

For anyone reading this...it is worth all the hard work.

Jas x

jasmine. . I had a wee chuckle at your post there. . How do you think i feel typin for 27 mins on my "moby" then find ave lost it. . Yes its incredibly frustrating lol. . Good to see you doin well lass. Keep it going we can do this 🙂

Hey Jas,

I imagine the woo woo headache is still much better than a gambling headache! Seeing that you have been over a year since you gave up gambling is fantastic, I hope to be able to say the same thing in around 10 months! :P

Looking forward to the debt-free day is a big motivation for me too...though not sure what I'll do with all my spare cash!

All the best,

Ryan