2010

Hi Jas. What a turn around. Well done.

Great to hear from you Jas, still miss you in chat. So happy for you that things are going well. Ann must admit you have inspired me to get myself another qualification. I still struggle with boredom and after reading you have gone back to college I thought I'd have a go too. So thanks 🙂

Take care Jas 🙂

Hi 🙂

I always find the run up to Christmas very pressured, both financially and emotionally. My finances are stable but no more than that. Still have the debt mountain I created, however, this is being chipped away at slowly....and without gambling there is no chance of it increasing....which is a definite positive.

Things in my life have changed so much it's quite unbelievable. My studies are difficult but very rewarding ............they definitely fill the time that my gambling antics used to.

I will post a little more on the run up to Christmas...purely as a reminder to myself that gambling will not and never did provide the extra cash I need at this time of the year, neither did it provide the escapism. I am only human and I am fully aware of my weaknesses which is why I have hunted out my diary.

Jas x

Jas good to read your last post. I hope you are giving yourself the pat on the back that you deserve, you have done well.

Miss you in chat. I still go to many of them. It helps me to stay very firm in my own recovery but I also enjoy being able to support if I can.

I used to be a Samaritan and was going to re apply but some how being able to input here has quenched that need. Anyway, I am a bit of an expert on gambling ....lol.

Christmas is going to be quiet. My wife is working over the whole time and being 200 miles away from family and close friends, not much to be doing.

The whole thing is so commercialised now in my opinion.

Do let us know how things are going.

Hi Jasmine

Hope the studies are going well. You seem to have come to the same conclussion as I have with regards gambling and debt. So long as you dont gamble your debt wont increase.....unless you go nuts on christmas this year!

There are a few little things one picks up along your way after quiting, too many to mention now, and for me it was these which made me realise I can do this.

In the end its ones own choice, you either gamble or you dont.

Glad all is going well.....

'I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP' - stumper

Dave.

Great to hear from you Jasmine and even better reading alls well :-)...christmas around corner, did you no have a christmas diary last year ? And YESSSS we are doing this 🙂

Hi Jas

As wp says always great to see you posting and im so glad for you that things are going well .Of course it was hard work that got you where you are now so you deserve to reap the rewards.All the best Jeff.

Wooops.....meant to be posting more on the run up to Christmas but just haven't had the time. I have had several opportunities to gamble and on one particular occasion I was going through a virtual fight to stop myself. I knew what had pushed me and I tried to fast forward to the consequences if I chose to gamble. It worked....and the cash in my purse remained there.

I am feeling very strong at the moment. There are loads of changes going on around me and I seem to be coping really well.

I absolutely love Christmas...the decorations, the food, the drinkies, the gift giving...and receiving! It's some of the family that can interfere with my fun and so I am going to try my best to block peeps out that pea me off.

My studies are going good......got 2 distinctions from my first two assignments....fluffy puffed out chest with pride hahahaha.

I love psychology...so interesting. I have been looking at positive reinforcement and the studies the gaming industry have used to ensure slot machines are profitable. The mind is an amazing thing but it can so easily be tricked and for those with addictive personalities it can prove fatal. There was a study done on rats. They pressed a lever and randomly received food as a reward....the experiment showed the rats would press the lever faster and faster following each random reward.....remind anyone of a slot machine? Fascinating stuff.

It's -10 her today and I'm freezing...going to treat myself to a hot chocolate in a minute.

Love to all....Jas xx

Hi Jas great to read you are doing so well. Your analogy with the rats certainly rings a few bells with me. I just cannot press the button on those fobts fast enough infact the woman who says place your bets usually only gets to pl.. and I am trying to have another spin!!! I am either a rat or a prat---or perhaps I am both anyway.

Have a great Christmas

Stumper xx

My sister was treating me to New Year celebrations. Been planned for months and months and I was really excited.

She went on a gambling binge on Saturday...spent the lot.....so now can't afford New Year. She sent me a text to tell me because she didn't dare call me and then I had a very early morning phone call asking me to help her.

So.....New Year is cancelled...ha ha ha. I was gentle with her and said it didn't matter....come round ours...or go the local pub......but what i wanted to say was.....what the f o o k are you doing..............but I've been there...I recognise the old me........

I am disappointed........yes....very disappointed indeed.

some things may never change (your sister) jasmine....also sorry to read of your daughters troubles but the main thing is your in a far far better position now compared to christmas pasts my friend....best wishes for the festive season to you and "P"...we can do this x

Hi Jasmine I remember reading your 1st diary as i was posting briefly at the same time but once I felt secure i stopped. Big mistake!!! the odd go on fruities soon turned into that old need to binge gamble and like your sister I always had something planned. Could be part of this addiction I suppose, building up to some big event and dont know why, I would want to gamble and almost punish myself by spending all my money then feel guilty cos I would either have to forego the treat or stick it on a credit card an more debt.

I recall winning online £2000 and withdrew it and booked holiday on my card as knew would take few days to go thro, for 2 days time an took my daughters on holiday for a week. But early hours of the morning before going the money hadnt cleared an was still in my online account an I greedily thought oooohrr just a few goes. well u know the rest of thee story. Spent every penny so obviously see went on hols that day but had to use credit card.

Back on here after being in semi control of my gambling but realised after zapping every single bingo site online for free bonuses (yet still managed to lose at least £400 in 6 weeks) I had and will always have a problem.

Havent gambled since 3rd Dec so early days but every day without gambling is another £1 back in my pocket.

U are doing so well and wish u an your family all the best an a festive xmas gl Jan x

Hi Jasmine,

Glad you are enjoying being a soap-dodger, and keeping your grades up 😉

Isn't the universe a wonderful thing - it regularly sends you a little reminder of what a d*ck we all were when we were gambling. Shame the reminder came in sister form this time, but take some positives if you can - that is not you anymore.

Sounds like you are doing just great, gorgeous!

Have a great Christmas and lots of love,

f x

this phone is playing up today ....a duplicate message sent 4 hours later lol....sorry jasmine 😀

Well, it's Christmas Eve and I have managed to stay gamble free on the run up to tomorrow. Feel good about that.

Had an email yesterday from one of the sites I used to frequent. Cheeky sods telling me my account had been inactive for over 12 months and they were going to charge me a fee for not using it! I couldn't get onto the site because of betfilter and they wouldn't accept an account closure request by email.....I had to ring an 0844 premium rate number........got through and closed the f*****g account......and the one in P's name too....charging me a fee.....how very dare they. I was really proud of myself actually....they asked what the reason for closure was and I told them....COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.......very liberating!

Feel like a big kid now....absolutely love Christmas.

Have a nice time everyone.........Jas x