Just got back from a trip to l*******s,had to travel out of town due to my self exclusions.
All the false hopes whilst on route,wasn't sure what I was going to back,a five fold footy acca,an ante post horse bet all in hope of retrieving my losses over the past year.
I rarely go into bookies do all my gambling on line.
I'm like a kid in a sweet shop,thoughts of my footy acca or ante post bet go out the window.
A quick bet on a dog,I can't even see the form,forgot my glasses,-I back the favourite to test my luck,a distant 3rd,never looked like winning,it's ok I've still got 200 left.
The next race was in south Africa,short price fav get my 40 back from the dog.
3rd again;90 down
I want to place a bet on the footy acca ,but want my 90 back.-next dog race
50 on the racing post nap;now where again.
I'm 140 down now,I've studied form all morning and haven't even backed any of my fancies yet.
I decide to have a 100 on the fav in the next race,that would erase the past 15 mins,put me back to square 1.
The fav doesnt even get placed.
I travel back home and contemplate what I have just done,I've been going round this merry go round for 25 years.
would my footy acca come in,would my ante post bet win?? Does it really matter??
I've made the same mistakes over and over again in my life.
Any big win makes me yearn more and more.
I have to quit,I don't know how mentally but I have to for my own sanity.
I used to do the same every Saturday. I would study form all morning and go to bookmakers intent on making my well thought out bets. I would get in bookmakers and gamble on dogs, SA racing, cartoons (virtual racing) and eventually I would have no money to place my original bets on horses. I would then sit in the house all afternoon watching horse races I did not bet on. Feeling to chase that first loss is so overpowering.
Hi
​Trigger, sorry to see you still stuck on the hamster wheel. Perhaps its time to try things you've never tried before, because unfortunately your way doesn't seem to work for you. This isn't going to end well for you, but you already know this. Take a chance, swallow your ego and pride and embrace all the help available to you
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Thanks for the posts degenerate and day at a time.
A different approach definitely has to be taken,but I've been down the ga route,it's not for me.
I'm ready to seek professional help,I have to do what it takes.
You have to hit a low,I've had no intention of stopping until now.
I'm ready.
I'm blessed with a loving family,I'm determined to keep it that way,just for today I shall not gamble.
Hi Trigger,
Sending you strong and positive thoughts to give 100% to recovery.
Suzanne xxx
Trigger wrote: Thanks for the posts degenerate and day at a time. A different approach definitely has to be taken,but I've been down the ga route,it's not for me. I'm ready to seek professional help,I have to do what it takes. You have to hit a low,I've had no intention of stopping until now. I'm ready. I'm blessed with a loving family,I'm determined to keep it that way,just for today I shall not gamble.
Get some help then ASAP.
Also i wouldn't rule GA out completely. Some gamblers go to GA when they are not really ready to commit to changing their lives and unsuprisingly it doesn't work. Maybe try again after some counselling?
Thanks triangle.
I'm committed to try counselling,hypnosis whatever.
I'm back to basics,I've cut up cards,limited funds (very little) that I have and self excluded from every where.
Day 3 ,I'm not a gambler anymore,just for today I shall not gamble.
Back again,ready to try and fight the gambling urges.
It feels like the impossible dream,the thing that threatens to ruin my world I still love doing,its all that occupies my mind every minute of the day.
I wasn't going to bother coming back to this forum,but it worked for long periods in the past,I find strength in people's positive posts,but don't appreciate being preached about ga,been there it wasn't for me;if it did I would be there now.
A day at a time,day 3 today.
Keep fighting trigger. There's a better life out there for all of us
Finding things tough going,good thing is its virtually impossible for me to gamble at present.
It feels physically painful at times,all I want to do is gamble.
Ive quit on the back of a winning period, if there is such a thing,I know d**n well if I carry on the money will be given back,but I'm trying to be sensible, and I want a stress free life back.
Another day in the bag,this has to get easier.
It's the addiction talking, keep strong and keep fighting, it will get easier, I think it can be harder for some after a win, but you have done 3 days now, keep going.
Suzanne xxx
Fresh start on my gamble free journey starts today.
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