3 months to change my life

Hi Suzy,

134 days that is great going.

Keep clocking those days up, you will get stronger, but remember your commitment to recovery, it gets stronger than the addiction to gamble, the more we abstain and maintain,.

Well done Suzy,

Suzanne xx

Day 135

Gambling urges have returned this week and peaked yesterday. I really felt drawn to scratchcards.

They seemed to be everywhere I looked. Well I suppose they are as they are in so many shops. I even found two used scratchcards in the shopping basket I picked.

When I was weaning myself off slots , I went overboard on scratchcards. They are such a waste of time.

In the few days leading upto these urges I felt bored. Bored of thinking about gambling and writing about it in my diary. The urges have passed.

I didn't give in to the urges but I was very aware of them and felt a little low.

I have self -excluded for life from the big bingo/slot sites and wouldn't be tempted to join one of the smaller crappy ones. Scratchcards are all around so this is probably where the urges will try to lure me.

I feared these urges returning but I have dealt with them this time and now know they will pass. It is all part of the Recovery journey.

Stay strong everyone.

Suzy

Hi Suzy,

It's funny how we get these urges, even though we know it's a waste of time and pointless to act on them, because we have been there and done it (so to speak).

I can relate to you saying being bored with gambling, and your diary, I felt similar to that a couple of weeks ago, but I was bored with recovery too, I wanted to wake up with no thoughts of gambling, recovery or my diary.

I wanted to be free from all of it.

This is all part of the recovery journey, you are right, and feel proud that you overcome those urges, well done, I felt a lot stronger and slightly chuffed the next day, after I had overcome my urges.(they were very positive urges too)

I hope you feel the same, tomorrow or the next day.

Don't feel disheartened, you will be even stronger after this,concentrate on recovery, even though it is boring at times.

Well done again

Suzanne xx

it takes balls to say after 135 days of recovery you can have still urges and temptation.

you are doing great suzy , keep up the good work

Thanks Suzy xx

Day 137

Heading towards the 20 week mark. Something that seemed impossible at the start.

I am planning my Xmas present to myself. I am going to attend a G.A. meeting. There are 4 meeting places in the county, a meeting each day of the week between them. That shows me the high level of gambling addiction in the area.

Xmas brings a mix of emotions in all homes. It is only just one day but everyone gets carried away.

Take care,
Suzy

Hi Suzy,

Thanks for your message..

138 days is a big achievement.

I love the way you plan ahead in your recovery, with such positivity and determination.

Very nearly 20 weeks gamble free, keep going

Well done,

Suzanne xx

Day 139,

Gambling urges have all gone until the next time. Payday is here again. Not spending a penny of it on gambling. I cannot win because I cannot stop.

Be kind to yourselves,

Suzy

Hi Suzy

thanks for post in my diary. It's support like yours that helps keep me going. You're so right about the free spins as before I would be lured back in again...no more as no accounts left open and I have no intention of opening another. I still get urges at times but rising above them, taking a step back and knowing I can't go down that path again.

Keep being strong too, one step a day at a time will see us gamble free. Once a CG always a CG as I've proved after conquering addiction with slots in arcade and bingo 15/20 years ago until I ventured into online slots last Sept. I'm striving to be 100 days GAmble free by xmas which will then be good start to a GG 2015.

mo

Morning Suzy,

A big congrats to you on reaching the 20 week milestone.

Life does get better the longer we abstain and maintain, keep doing what you are doing and keep winning your life back a little more each day.

Suzanne xx

Well done and have a lovely day

Hi Suzy,

Just wanted to pop by and say a quick thank you for your comment on my diary. And also well done on your 140 + days! I gave been reading your inspirational dairy and threads.

Thanks again, with any luck I will make it to 140 days too x

Hi Suzy,

Although you haven't spent those wages on gambling, I hope it's being to put to good use instead! Four months down, you're doing great. Glad that your positivity overcame the tempation of the scratchcards that you were experiencing. Those little demons have plenty of cunning tricks to tempt us in don't they?

Keep up the good work,

Ryan