35 and ready to change

In a very similar boat to you right now, managed my longest spell gamble free earlier this year.

Only to crack at the start of this month. Currently on day 3 LETS DO THIS 👍 

I'm almost 78 "and ready to change" 🙂 I was recently diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder which is different than OCD - checking, counting, washing, etc. Ever since I've been Dx'd I've been compulsively searching the Internet for information about OCPD. In a way that's funny but it's an OCPD way. But what I really liked about your post is the "ready to change" part. OCPD is just one of many things that I need to change. But of all the things I need to change OCPD is the one I am most ready to change right now. Being Dx'd really helps me to see the huge pattern in my life of trying to use compulsive behaviors, such as gambling, drinking, smoking, talking etc etc to distract me from what bothers me the most... I am not comfortable with me! I must add that I am not comfortable with most people too. That explains going to the race track so mnay times, surroundered my thousands of people and yet feeling very isolated and alone. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to feel insolated from the world and being at the track with my money, cigarettes and coffee. And that was independent of whethere I won of lost! As long as I was doing my thing I was winning! Thanks for reading and all the best!

@hit0f4l2rn Well done on the long period of being gamble free. Just shows you can do it 🙂

@5ixnjhtf84 Thanks for the comment. Also thanks for sharing your story too. Always nice to hear from people in a similar situation. I completely get your feeling of being isolated, I think every compulsive gambler has definitely felt some loneliness!

Hope you don't mind me asking. Has the diagnosis helped with the gambling urges? I am pretty sure I have ADHD and have debated going to see a doctor to see if it may help me. But at the same time I wonder if im using it as an excuse for my irrational behaviour? I don't know. Hope you don't mind the direct question 🙂

Day 4.

Feeling positive regarding the gamble free weekend. Need to give myself more credit and pats on the back for the smaller milestones. I know its VERY early days but its a good start.

Currently run a small business and looking to start something new to help take my attention away from the demons. I know what my triggers are and having too much spare time is definitely one of them. Hope if anyone reads this they have a great day 🙂

Day 11.

Doesn't being gamble free really change your mindset! Important for me to remind myself of how good I feel when im not gambling. Anxiety is definitely better and I feel much more positive about things.

Few thoughts about gambling over the weekend but no real urges which is great. Staying busy is key for me. I hope anyone reading this has a great week. Happy Monday!

Day 20

Been a tough week or so. Feeling somewhat stressed/lost with work at the moment. Unsure on how to move forward with it. In the past I would turn to gambling but not this time. Been using that energy on physical activity. 

Just 20 days in but already feeling better in other aspects of my life. Stopping gambling = a better version of me.