3rd day was tuff

Day 4 was ok this morning was hard I had the urge to gamble, it's everywhere all I can see is gambling on Facebook, on Google with the adds, listing to music the adds again.

I then went to the WhatsApp support to give me a hand, it helped got some good advice and support witched helped me out a lot.

After that my day has been pritty chilled out playing with the little one trying to keep my mind from overthinking of the situation I might of out my self in, but I shall find out how bad it is in time but for now all I can do is focus on the present.

I wish you all the best in your recovery.

Your doing amazing Kyle, keep up the great work! Well done opening up to your colleague also that takes guts, realise this 👏 

It isn't an easy journey but it's one we are all on together. With each others can do attitude we can smash this together! I've handed finances over to my wife too this week so I feel your pain.  It's like being 13 again! But I keep reminding myself this is on me and to protect our family. Sounds like your Mrs might actually kill ya so even more incentive mate 😂 

Keep it up buddy 

So the back end of day 4 I decided to ring my mum and my grandma.

My mum was giving me money nearly every week she didn't know it was for gambling or for when I gambled all my money away, it wasn't major amounts each week like £20, but over time it adds up, she was glad I rang and let her know and she offers her support. 

My grandma brought me up so it was a little harder to tell her, my dad was a J****E most of his life, he never met his grandkids and some times he regretted it most of time he just accepted he was a J****E, I swore to my self I would never be like him and the pain of realising that gambling is just like drugs made me relise there wasn't much diffrence in them.

My grandma offered her full support just like she did with my dad, the diffrence is he never really tried, where as I am going to kick it no matter what I will not let gambling destroy everything I have worked for!

Day 5 and it's been a really good day more people know now that are close to me and I feel like I have fully accepted what I have done and what I am which is an addictive gambler and I will change that.

Thank you all for readying I wish you all the best.

@dazza85 

I appreciate you replying pal 

I would rather be treated like a 13 year old then have nothing, I got a lot to lose like everyone else and we can't let gambling take that away.

I do belive she would take a finger or 2 to stop me pressing spin haha but I know she's just concerned about me and the family she trys so hard to look after.

I do feel abit mean now she's sorting all the bills out but it is for the best and I will have to try my best to support her in the extra stress she has taken on but at least we will still have money each week.

Thank you for your time pal we shall make it through this togeather.

Kyle keep going my friend your doing ace!  👏 👏 Great you reached out and spoke to family you need that support mechanism and it will help you to know you have more people to reach out to when your struggling. As for the Mrs she may be struggling but look how much she loves ya pal she's out of her comfort zone doing her best so she can support you! This is what to remember next time the urge lands hard. I write moments like this down privately in notes on my phone so when I when think about a gamble I read through the times and memories I would lose for further gambling. 

Hope your okay fella 

Dazza

DAY 6

So the day has been up and down, my brain keeps ticking on what could happen rather than what is happening. 

I am 6 days deep of gamble free and I have not felt the urge to gamble, which is great I can't not fault my self for that tommrrow is my one week g/f I'm happy to know I'm going to smash it no problem. 

I have joined every chat room I possibly can and mate some great people on here, I don't think I could of done it with out the inspiration of others, plus reading what other are going through and have been through.

Dazza pal, I like reading your diary and we started nearly the same time , it gives me that extra help, cheers for writing on my diray ig helps just knowing there's others reading my experience makes me feel like it's worth it.

Bring on day 7 

Thank you for readying wishing you all the best.

Day 7 and 8.

I have been busy with work and life at the moment trying to keep my mind busy as it tends to wounder and stress me out.

There hasn't been much temptation, it still make me feel sick about what I was doing I guess that will never change but my glad my family understand and my freinds. 

I guess that's it for them two days I have my phone assessment on Friday for my 121 so we shall how that goes. 

Thank you all for reading wishing you all the best.

Good luck with the assesment tomorrow mate! I had mine today and it was ok! Most of it is just taking about your history so they understand your situation. I found it helpful just to continue talking. My advice be as honest as you possibly can be. 

No worries pal I'm routing for you IL continue to read and post! Keep doing what your doing mate. It's not easy but your smashing it 👏 

I see my last post was a few days ago, it's been going really well with the none gambling, I have not thought about it or had no intentions to do so.

The problem has been my over thinking stuff but it's the way I have always been, I have come to the conclusion what happens will happen.

My wife said she will stand by me no matter what happens which helps alot, she has been my rock atm.

But over all no gambling smashing this comming up to 2week and I will keep the ball rolling.

Thank you for reading.

Well done mate your doing great! It's good your wife is so supportive too. Keep that focus buddy 😁 

Hi 

I know it's been a while, I guess I just kinda got on with life and stopped worrying about stuff, it's been great I havnt even thought about gambling. 

I am comming up to a month gamble free in a week and it feels brilliant, I don't think I could of done it without the help of my wife and support off my grandma but I'm here now doing really well.

I just wanted to give an update thank you all for reading, I wish you all the best of luck.