A Diary of My Gambling Life - Rotting Away

Hang in there mate. Good work on the 3 weeks. Be proud of that , it's what you are trying to do. From where you've been at its got to be your only aim at the moment and you are achieving it.

Any reasons you feel particularly down?

If I'm not online when you reply just to let you know thinking of you and hope you are feeling a bit better.

It ain't easy this, if it wasn't we wouldn't all be here!

Hi urgh, hope you're feeling better after a nights sleep. Sometimes we use gambling to mask how we feel about life. We use to thrill of it to compensate for what's lacking personally, it's a cheap and useless substitute. I know this because I've been doing it for years. You mentioned you had depression and anxiety which is very serious, you have to protect yourself, those aforementioned conditions will only worsen if you gamble again. Free from the stress and misery of gambling you will be given an opportunity to face life itself and make it better. Write out jobs to do every day and stick to them, set yourself routines and challenges which take you out of your comfort zone, whilst your not gambling look after yourself mentally and physically. Try and eat well, sleep well and exercise. It's not easy sometimes but it has to be done. Take care my friend and I hope something clicks in your mind which sparks a determination to fight back, take control of your life and be happy, Steve (practising what he preachers, for fear of the consequences)

4 weeks now, time goes quick.

I need to to learn to not feel guilty spending money, I am having trouble spending anything

Thanks for your support

Hi Urgh,

Think you went on chat at an unfortunate time... you can usually get some sound advice there.

I would suggest trying not to feel guilty.. of course... but I know it's difficult. I am also in " saving every penny" mode, but I also realise that if I go to the extreme then I might get to the point where i explode... and possibly gamble. So I am being careful... but also trying to teach myself the value of money again... and that means treating myself now and again, so I realise what money CAN do for me.... and like I said on the chat... I bought myself a bottle tonight £20... jeeze... but I knew that would be gone in moments if i gambled.... tonight I am enjoying that £20.

Stay strong and treat yourself... wisely.

Jon

5 weeks free now.

I've been spending more than I'd like, but they were for positive reasons, (like being more social). Also, I realised need to learn to spend more money on myself like normal people do, even if that is takeaways, clothes etc, it is better than gambling it.

I tried living on very little to save up, but I knew I'd probably end up being miserable and slipping up, so its a case of save a little every month rather than save a lot.

Because of that I was sorely tempted this weekend to put a some £ into the FOBT's, but I could've slipped up..

I did buy a few raffle tickets for charity, I don't count that as gambling in my eyes

great news on the five weeks. it is very hard but it gets easier. at times when you get an urge to gamble do something to fill your time, like going to see your family or watch a film or something. it will help take your mind off it. when i quit i doubted whether i could ever do this but today i am 90 days bet free. just imagine what you can achieve and believe in yourself

Well done on so many days so far and for not being tempted back onto the fobt's, keep going, Steve.

Hi Urgh, we're practically neck and neck in the days tally as you mentioned. Day 38 was a bit of a miserable day for me but 39 is going to be better. Keep going, the longer we don't bet, the better we become, take care, Steve

Week 6, but really struggling this Saturday morning.

My gambling thoughts have been in control, but the Champions League is on, and for once I will actually be out watching it with friends. it is a shame my enjoyment will be ruined by my urges. I already have imaginary bets played in my head, we'll see how it turns out.

I've been spending a fair bit of money this month, to socialise, and I've been buying takeaways whenever I get the strong urge in the evening. This is normal spending to an average joe in the street, but I find it hard to spend money and not feel guilty about it.

Whats stopping me is imagining the slippery slope.. losing £50 can easily turn to £500.. thats why I must resist.

But deep inside I'd love a cheeky go on the FOBT, I don't fancy spending £30 tonight going out, am I insane? £30 is 4 hours work for me!

And the insanity of doing overtime at work and then spending that going out? Why am I such a spendthrift? The overtime is killing me is it wrong to not want to spend any of it?

To be honest I'd rather stay in tonight and every other night, and save my money, but I now I can't live like that..

Thanks everyone

Hi Urgh

Maybe this might help about your imaginary bets tonight.Just remember it will be a good feeling if they go down and if they come in start imagining again.What would you do with you winnings(no need to imagine)you would just bet on something else until it was gone.You have put 6 weeks of hard work into this recovery.Enjoy the game m8.All the best Jeff.

Like Jeff said, you have worked hard for 6 weeks and you really need to remain strong to keep this going. Just think how great you will feel if you were able to enjoy the football game for what it was intended for.

And that's to watch 22 men chase a spherical object with the aim of in entering two certain areas.

I have never stopped being disgusted about those greedy people who have invaded our national game so that they can take as much money as possible from vulnerable people like we used to be.

Please try and enjoy the game for the right reasons.

Then you can really enjoy the Euro Championships when they come!

NT

Hi Urgh, well done on the 6 wks gamble free. It was good to speak 2 u in chat last nite.

I think u r doing gr8, it's not easy 2 beat this. But u can do it!

I hope u r ok 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

How does everyone deal with the need to have money and quick, and the guilt of losing it all? I've spent these few years trying to save up and its so disheartening when you work so hard for a year and then lose all that money.

Thanks

I've lost everything so many times. But I can honestly say I've never felt a lot of guilt only deep depression that I could not carry on. Money itself never appealed to me I just used it to get thrills like a game. No ambition with it for me too immature or caught up in the addiction to see beyond gambling. Savings? After working all my life I hardly had any everything was gambled. The cars, motorbikes etc big items you usually save for I'd pay for in cash on the rare occasions when I'd get lucky. Still can't get my head around saving now, trying to adjust though, be more mature, responsible. Depressed, miserable, regretful even but never truly guilty.

Well done by the way on getting this far, keep going, Steve

Hi Urgh, it was nice 2 chat 2 u earlier, sorry 2 hear about ur slip.

Sometimes a slip can make us stronger.

U can do this!

Stay strong 🙂