Still feel depressed can put my finger on why! but going okay doing the right things which are boring and mundane but thats normal life. When I go home tonight everyone in my house is happy which is 500percent increase on things than when I am gambling.
35 days today
Your making great strides Micheal if it was easy this site would be redundant as would GA. my moods go up and down and was worse on the early days look at me only 100 days in saying early days this isn't an over night fix all I can say the bad start to turn into average days and then into good ones. Maybe it just the January thing that I never believed in till I have seen the up and downs on here this month.
Keep going the way you are bud
Well done on 35 days:)) your mood will lift soon, just keep pushing through, that gambling melochy:)) takes more out of us than we realise, and comes through when in recovery.
Hold on tight this will pass.
Suzanne xxx
Day 36 good nights sleep and I feel alot better. I have 3 small children in fairness they are not a big problem but they can mess alot with your sleep. Towards 40 I suppose now. Where did I get the time to gamble
Day 39, feel awful today. I lurch towards thinking about gambling when I am like this. I have had enough of this s..t in my life. I suppose I am going to feel awful for today but remain gamble free. I read cynical wife and it truly annoys me I don't think she has any concept of how brutal this addiction is. I know our loved ones are hurt but in this addiction there is no survivors it is just a trail of destruction. The amazing thing is there are times in recovery you can spend hours trying to convince yourself that you can control it this time. When your doing that you are a true degenerate. Onwards towards day 40 hopefully my moods improve.
Well done today Micahel. It's such a horrible illness and temptation is all around. Got to keep moving forward. Keep the faith.
day 40 alot better today onwards
Day 43 going well not much to report. Urges always but keep fighting the battle
Keep marching on mate.
Day 44 all well moods are abit hard to control but still get urges now and again
Day 45 Urges annoying me but I will fight on
Day 46 flew by Thursday is 50 up for some on here I actually felt I would not get by 10. I don't feel a whole pile better but it was getting bad fast when I was gambling. Still occupies far too much of my head space but each gamble free day is a good one
This could be a disaster or I can keep going I know why I have gambled but I don't why if you can understand that. Tomorrow is day 1 this is not beating me I am now having a few drinks prior to my bet I was sober. Under some pressure but not enough I should go gambling there is no excuse but I have no choice tomorrow is day 1. I should feel worse but I don't I just have to go again and that is easier said than done stay safe everyone
Sorry to hear this Michael. It is really tough and struggling through every day makes it worse. I feel for you pal. I understand you totally. I'm struggling like mad right now.
Sorry to read of your blip, my friend, but you have made the right choice by getting straight back up, put this blip right behind you,
and carry on, be day at a time, pushing forwards, you have worked so hard on your recovery, don't let it slip,
Keep strong,
Suzanne xxx
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