DAY 1-7
Been really positive start for me, I gave my bank card to my girlfriend that my wages go's into, blocked my phone app service so i cant get bookies apps, downloaded K9 on Day 6 so i dont get temped and Day 7 i will be going round all the bookies that i know in my town which is over 10 in a smallish town this is disgraceful.
Im going to set targets to reach and treat myself to something when i get there.
Starting of with DAY 25, DAY 50,DAY 100....They are my three targets that i want to get to first then i can start building on that.
Time to sleep now, busy day ahead of me, upsetting all them bookies and banning myself from there dirty shops.
Just been laying in bed reading lots on here just to help me with any urges that i might have, since joining i feel in control.
Payday today and thats when i feel then need to gamble most of the time, but today i feel great and no urges at all.
Up you get lazy...There's bookies to upset 😉
Welcome to recovery mate...Great start smashing up that Time-Money-Location triangle! Congratulations on your week 🙂
Keep winning - ODAAT
So my girlfriend when home a hour ago and by accident she forgot to take my card off me and I forgot I had it until it was to late, normaly I go into the bookies on the way back from the train station, which I did but this time it was to exclude myself, so I asked this bloke at the counter and he told me "he dint no where they were kept" so he ask me "can I come back in 30minutes" I told him I will wait and 10mintues later the manager came upto me and looked at me weirdly which at that point I started to get frustrated and I ask if I could have the form which she replyed "No, I will fill the form in once you have the pictures" complete Cow! That's 1 shop out of 10 lol so I decided that I be going in there Friday with photos! I managed to get a form from l*******s so I will be going back there aswell.
Feel upset that I spent so much time and money in them places only to get treated like a mug, so happy that I've quit the mugs game now!!
ODAAT, cheers for the support mate means a lot, told my sister today about the group and she is happy that I found something to help me kick that horrible addition, I aslo told a mate the other day about its helping me and he is also happy so I'm finally sorting my self out, I wished I listened too my beautiful one sooner Owell at least I've woken and taken action!!!
DAY 8
Feel good again today no urges just yet. been clearing out my bedroom and came across so many bank statements with cash withdrawals then bookies details. Feel ashamed that i have been gambling so long with no care in the world!
This site is helping to relise what a huge mistake i made just happy im making progress.
Yep, I've been there on both counts...Bookies mugging me off even when I had photos with me & bank statements that just make me want to cry! I am planning on doing my tax return early this year because as long as I keep fighting (& I will) it's the last one I will need to do with statements that make me cringe!
This is one fight worth picking, remember the shame but never look back! Be prepared for the urges because they will come & keeping that triangle broken will help you deal with them!
As my good friend Ginge tells us...Onwards & upwards - ODAAT
I tend to last two weeks with effort then give in to the urges, but this time i feel ready for them.
Ive had a real hard couple years, my best mate was killed then soon after my girlfriend at the time got with somebody esle and would not let me see my son who was 8months at the time, I took her to court so i could see my son but that took 14months. The way i was feeling for them 14months were hell, i did not care about myself at all so gambling was just to let out my stress. I have been seeing my son since then in a contact centre so i can build a bond with him and build trust with my ex i guess. Its still in court but theres a hearing in july so im praying for them to let me see my son outside of the centre and to have more time with him. My son is everyting to me and i want to make him proud and want to spoil him so this is why i MUST stick with no betting so i can build a life with him and My lovely girlfriend that has helped me endless amount of times. I will overcome this part of my life!!!!
Been a lazy day for me today, watching Netflix and playing fifa.
Seeing my son in the moning, so i should be in a good mind set for day 9 🙂
DAY 9
Could not sleep lastnight so been Up watching Netflix's again, feel quite tired now tho but I will have to wait for sleep till after I see my son. I suppose it's a good thing, beening so tired that I will just fall asleep in the afternoon so I don't get any urges.
Because I spent money I dint have couple weeks ago Im still paying for that now. I think I will in a better shape in two weeks time that's when I will see the true benefits of not gambling.
Since I've moved into where I live now I'm not sure how many times I've been late with my rent it's so many I've lost count, God knows how I have not been told to sort my self out and start paying on time or move out. I think I will be contacting my landlord in the coming days to ask to change the way I pay because I get weekly pay but I have to pay monthly rent so I think I will ask if I can pay it weekly so it's done and dusted as soon as I get paid, it Would help me out quite a lot I feel.
Feels good getting this out of my head and put it in writing.
DAY 10
Back at work now 6 till 6 so no betting for me that's for sure in the next 4 days.
Been thinking about football bets this morning and how I could make money which is stupid and would set me off on all betting again. I'm not addicted to football bets but I want to control myself on all aspects of gamberling so much so that I'm avoiding scrach cards and fruit machines as well as the horrid fobt which is the devil for me!
Been thinking about my past gambling moments and the one that stands out quite abit was a recent memory, where I gambled all my wages the day I got paid three weeks on a trot. The feeling I had then was what the hell have I done. I asked my girlfriend for money so I could get food for the week for two weeks in a row, and not paid or saved up any for my rent, so I had to pay nearly £1000 in rent in four weeks to sort the mess out that I had caused. The fact I had to ask my girlfriend to come down to see me every week for a two months and buy the food and what ever esle and still she did not give up on me. If it was the other way round would I have given up of her? Yes as its a disgrace that someone who is getting paid 4/5 times more than them and having to bail them out!
I remember going into a shop and buy the basics to live for 2 or 3 days bread and beans and I got to the checkout only for my card to decline, felt ashamed tbh!
I'm glad my girlfriend is giving me the time/chance to turn this addition around as I would be so lost without her. Need to do this for me but also for her and even more importantly is my son so he can't grow up to see or do what I have done!
DAY 11
Starting to feel the urges more and more now and it's only 4days till pay day and I finish work Wednesday so I need to keep busy for them 4days off, as I have my card still. I might go to London to see my girlfriend as I know I will not be gambling with her around me. This will test my will power big time!
Stay strong Aaron, doing great so far
Feel like c**P at the moment at work and I can't focus for more than a hour. The feeling of letting myself down and even more so my son and family is getting me down quite abit.
Really wished I could stop thinking so much in my head as it's driving me mad.
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