Heard an interesting point at GA the other night which was that a comon trait amongst gamblers is that we are ultra competitive. So when a casino/bookie 'beats' us we want to win back our losses.
Im coming up to a year gamble free and I wont lie, I have a strong URGE to gamble right now. Im not planning on acting on the urge but the urge remains. My life is 50 times better than it was when I gambled but the same way you forget your losses really quickly I think I've forgotten how bad it all was.
I have a lot of positives in my life, especially my wife who is amazing, so need to stay strong. Also, my competitive streak makes me want to beat everyone else when it comes to giving up which is something we should all use to our advantage!
Well done Croboy.
I can't even envisage going a year without gambling at this present moment but well done to you for doing it.
I am like you a binge gambler.A chaser too and when i'm in full chase mode is when i rack up the four figure losses on crazy bets.All control has gone until i've blown the lot.
I genuinely couldnt have envisaged a year (and to be fair its only 11 months and everydays a stuggle) when I started so you can do it mate!
The thing is, its not impossible. It takes means, motive and opportunity to gamble. Block your access to money (means), exclude yourself from where you gamble (opportunity) and your motives to give up are obvious.
Giving up the desire to chase is really hard. Its unfair, frustrating, wrongs (to us) when a casino takes our money. We feel cheated and angry. My way of coping is to think I wasnt paying to gamble I was paying for the BUZZ of gambling. Gambling is like a drug and once a drug dealer injects or snorts what he uses then he doesnt go and ask his dealer for a refund. We got a buzz, want more of that buzz and thats why we chase.
Why do you think we chase and lose control til every penny is gone? In a way I think its like self-harming the way I used to want to just blow every penny
I read an interesting point on here about gamblers being ultra competitive,i think it may be a valid point.
The chase and the thrill of that last big bet that gets all the loses back.The only problem being when that last big bet crashes and you have those feelings of suicidal depression mixed with anger for days/weeks.
I'll be ok for a week or two but it's when i start to forget what it feels like to lose big,then the temptation starts.
How do you address that?
You definitely do feel sickened by gambling after a binge, its a bit like eating far too much chocolate and thinking you'll never want to eat it again but of course you do. Its enevitable you'll want to gamble again so could you hand over you finances to a partner/trusted friend/parent? Having zero money to gamble means there's no chance you can.
Hi
Well done on your nearly year of non gambling, I am too hopeful that I will hit the year mark on Feb 1st 2012.
Its funny that you mentioned that gamblers are ultra competative, as I get told this all the time by work colleagues and by people close to me, but I have never really seen it in myself. I just always want to succeed at everything I do!! This does help me in my work though, as I am a sales rep, so always wanting to succeed is good for the bonus side of it!
Keep going mate, you can do it
My wife always ask why do i never take my card out and why do tend to leave my wallet under the bed!She doesn't know the extent of my loses..
I do the basic things of only carrying what i need but after a week or two,i get looser and then there will be one occasion when i forget and ive got my card on me.Then the worst happens..
I just need to break the cycle.
Came within a whisker of losing my recovery time today but thankfully have re-installed blocking software. Got a new laptop a while back, wasnt having urges at the time, thought I was above having barriers in place, big mistake! Barriers back up, feel stronger!
I always thought it was a myth that people gamble as an escape from stress. I've been so stressed with a deadline today and all I kept thinking about was having a gamble online. Im due a year clean on 5th November and really need to keep up my sobriety cos I'd be an absolute fool to lose my wife, house , dogs etc! Thankfull and feel luck I didnt but taught me a lesson!
Just checking in.
Over 330 days now since I last had a bet. Must admit, thought it would be easier by now but in some respects it harder.
I think what makes it harder is that i now have some money to gamble with and you quickly forget how hurtfull it is to have a big loss. At the time you feel like you're full to the brim with gambling and as time goes on you start to get hungry again. I definitely have 'pangs' and cravings to gamble but not enough to ruin my sobriety. Piece of mind is so good and life might be a little less exciting, better to be on level ground then sky high one minute and in the depths of hell the next.
Good luck everyone.
Had a good week, less gambling pangs. Hit 365 days on Nov 5th, fireworks night.
What a day to celebrate an amazing whole year without going back to the dark, evil world of gambling!
It is pleasing to hear that you remain very aware of the dangers of going back to your old ways and that we can never, ever become complacent no matter how long in the journey we are.
"Gambling pangs"! Now that's a good way to describe them!
Enjoy your day.
GT
Today 5th november, is my 365th day clean. Really, happy to have got here as its been really difficult. Going out tonight to celebrate and determined to keep it up.
Finding it hard today. Sounds stupid but I placed an imaginary bet yesterday for a large amount that would have won and feel sort of gutted that I didnt place it yet relieved that I didnt if at makes any sense?
The fact is that I shouldnt be imaginary betting and have lost a lot of imaginary bets "i would have bet x amount on x if I was still gambling" type of thing.
Got to keep postive, 13 months since my last bet, state of mind is 100% better, feel healthier, finances better.
Cannot win as i cannot stop. End of
Hit 452 day clean today!!! Not been easy and still thinking about betting a lot but never gonna give in!
Quite depressing seeing I started this diary 5 years ago. Just a stark reminder that gambling addiction stays with you in a dormant form no matter what. I very recently gambled again and although the financial ramifications arent bad as I basically lost what I initially won over a 2 day period im still gutted, scared it could worsen. The stupid thing is I have/could have a really good life and the gambling thing is almost like im sabotaging myself. I'm determined to keep away from 'the dark side' and will throw myself into fitnesss, my son and home improvements possibly. I know what I need to do to keep away, I just need to do it, easier said than done!
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