And breathe.......

Hi nb how's things going at the minute?

Hey Sam things are not to bad thanks for asking.No urges to gamble but it's easy to say that when you've no money lol I do feel different this time though because I guess I tackled the problem of quitting half heartedly but this time I've gone the whole hog! I've self excluded from bookies and online,I've installed blocking software and I'm going to counselling this week.I still have a sizeable amount of debt but I spoke to my missus about it and I'm contacting a debt management charity this week.As I'm still off work it's giving me sometime to do some thinking and made me realise how much gambling was a massive part of my life.Its actually quite scary to think of how it controlled me.Ive known I've had a problem for many years but I always managed to just get by,whether that was sticking money on cards or borrowing money from mates etc I still managed nights out weekends away etc but if the truth be told my life was being dictated by where a ball landed on a spinning wheel! Just typing that sounds mental but it really did affect if I could go out or buy the missus flowers or just enjoy life.Thankfully I've reconciled with myself about the time wasted and the money lost,I think you need to do this as you can't move forward dragging the past behind you.So after all my rambling I'm doing ok Sam lol as someone said on here better a ramble than a gamble 🙂 how's things with you? Still gf?

Hi nb glad to hear things are better than the other day. Yes I'm still gamble free and have absolutely no intention of changing that. Going 'whole hog' is the only way I think in kicking this addiction and getting into recovery. I say this as in the past whilst trying to abstain I would conveniently change the goalposts to suit myself i.e. still play the lottery, only exclude for 6 months etc. This time I have looked for and accepted the necessary support (GA).

It's funny you mention how your whole life was dictated by gambling - I was exactly the same. It never made me do without either in terms of holidays and nights out but it did put me in a lot of debt! More importantly though was the time wasted gambling, thinking about gambling, sorting out loans and credit cards to cover losses, living in fantasy land that 'the big win' was just around the corner.

All we need to do is stop. Sounds easy doesn't it? We all know it isn't BUT it can be made easier by doing the right things i.e. barriers, support, honesty, willpower amongst other things. The next time you have an urge to gamble just remind yourself of what road it takes you and what you could/would lose as a result.

All the best

Sam nice to hear from you, kinda think we're pretty similar in many ways.I hate hearing of other people struggling with this horrid addiction but it's also comforting to know I'm not the only one.Kinda feel different this time as before it was all about stopping just by willpower alone and that ain't going to happen so this is it for me,time to put on the big boy pants and do this! I'm fortunate to have a great family and some of the best mates a guy could ask for so I'll be ok.Im currently lying on top of my bed as my young son sleeps next to me and I wish I could be that age again however the next best thing I can do is sort myself out,commit to this recovery and give him the life he deserves. One day at a time

Seen a couple of quotes on an anti gambling app I have from two woman I thought I'd share: I attribute my success to this,I never gave or took any excuse. Florence nightingale and this The most difficult thing is the decision to act,the rest is merely tenacity! Amelia Earhart. Hope everyone is well and gf

Had my first experience of a gambling dream last night. Was very strange but also good. I had a twenty pound note and tried to bet with it but nowhere would accept it.I went to casinos and tried fobt but even they would just switch off. Woke up a bit unsure what happened because it was extremely vivid but once I had removed my head from my b*m and fully woken up I was pretty chuffed that I couldn't place or didn't place a bet even though it was only a dream! Maybe it's the symbolism that I'm happy with who knows. Anyway thought I'd jot down my ramblings as I find having a look on here helps start the day. Here's to another gf day everybody!

Hi just wanted to drop by and say thank for the post was really nice and a great way to start my day. Best wishes to you on your journey I'm sure you will do yourself and your family proud. Forget the past and plan for the future, don't ever fully forget how destructive gambling can be but positivity I think is the key. Stay positive and enjoy what life has to give. All the best.

Thanks for your kind words. I am very positive person and always try and look on the bright side and I think that attitude will stand me in good stead in the days and weeks ahead but like you said whilst banishing the gambling it's important to remember where I was and still am at the moment. I have a plan and I have goals so just focusing on moving forward 🙂 cheers

Hi nb and thanks for your kind post today , you seem quite a positve sort of person and Ithink thats hugely important when were in recovery , if we don't cheer ourselves up then who will ? .

Your first week almost over and something now to build on :))

Wishing you every success and heartfelt best wishes

Alan

Hi nb, ah the dreams!! Funny enough I had a dream last night where I thought I gambled as well. Can't remember the detail as it's a bit fuzzy but I recall running around afterwards trying to convince myself and others it wasn't gambling! Woke up and soon realised it was just a dream 🙂

Keep that positivity about you as it will aid in your recovery. When the negative thoughts and urges come you know where we are, nothing wrong with a good ramble on the forum or in the chatrooms (if you can get into them!)

All the best

just thought I'd pop on here and scribble down some random thoughts. I have to say that recently I've been reading a lot of other diaries on here and the support and positivity from other users is amazing! The words of encouragement,the posts on your page,advice on stopping and maintaining etc it really is brilliant and personally speaking it helps me and encourages me to know I'm not alone and I'm not a bad person. I'm only a week in but something has changed. Through the positive posts and being open and honest with myself I am ready to embrace the change. Over the 23 years I've been gambling this is the first time I have truly committed and it feels good,it feels like a new case,a new chapter. Of course I've had many a false dawn but I don't think I ever fully embraced it and I know for a fact I never put the blocks in place I solely relied on will power and we all no how that ends. So this week and next will be spent tackling my debt problem head on and working out the best option for me and I also have counselling scheduled (had to rearrange as I'm still on crutches and not exactly mobile) The strange thing is if I relapsed today not only would I be letting myself and my family members down I'd be letting you guys down. I've seen many people on here relapse and disappear but that's not my style so I intend to keep posting and hopefully remain gf. One day at a time! P.s. One week down next target 30 days Cheers X

Well done on reaching 7 days and thank you for your post, yes I've put the blocks in place and I've got counselling arranged through were I work. I'm totally changing my routine, instead of coming in from work and sitting in front of the TV and playing online slots I'm doing Zumba class, walking and reading other posts to make me want to beat this. I didn't stop because I ran out of money till payday as I have enough to live on until the end of the month and bills all paid. I decided enough was enough and realised I was not living anymore as I was always feeling stressed, and want to feel happy and find the person I was before gambling.

Well done on reaching 7 days and thank you for your post, yes I've put the blocks in place and I've got counselling arranged through were I work. I'm totally changing my routine, instead of coming in from work and sitting in front of the TV and playing online slots I'm doing Zumba class, walking and reading other posts to make me want to beat this. I didn't stop because I ran out of money till payday as I have enough to live on until the end of the month and bills all paid. I decided enough was enough and realised I was not living anymore as I was always feeling stressed, and want to feel happy and find the person I was before gambling.

Wooohooo a weekend gamble free I could get used to this. Had a couple of beers nothing much and watched the footy/boxing. If I can take any comfort from my addiction it's that it was only fobts I was always pretty sensible on sport only a Wee coupon or a very very rare lucky 15 on the horses. I love my sport and would've been devastated if I couldn't watch sports without thinking about scorers and form etc etc However despite me being ok at staking sensible manageable amounts on sports I now know that complete abstinence is the way forward for me at the moment and I'm ok with that. Despite my enthusiastic first line feel a little flat this morning as the non gambling euphoria has worn off and I feel it's been replaced by a feeling of boredom??? I find this strange as standing in front of a fobt or playing roulette on a phone for hours is boring! I guess it's about retraining your brain and keeping busy and that takes time. Anyway I'm off to make some French toast and watch some CBeebies with my son 🙂 there's worse ways to spend your Sunday morning. Enjoy your Sunday and stay strong X

It certainly is a lot Better without gambling bringing us down. Enjoy the French toast and c beebies