And breathe.......

Hi thanks for your post, I won't be reporting you or anyone to gamcare, you as is everyone are entitled to their view. As i type this quickly as i am up off to work, as i have done every day of my working life for the last 42 years to provide for my children for 20 years while they were at home, there was no gambling ever then. A few points, am I selfish, yes since the gambling addication kicked in, I don't want to lose something I treasure very much through gambling,do i love money more than her ? I don't know. I am at the point of either fighting for my financial future and keeping her, or confessing and losing everything for i will crumble and walk from my job my life my family if we part. Sorry if i frustrate you, but I am at a very tough crossroads position in my life.

Still fighting,still here but came so close a few times recently. Man this is hard! Got to keep on plugging away as the alternative doesn't bare thinking about.

So not been on as much as I used to,maybe I've been to busy or trying to cope on my own but recently the urges have been pretty big. I've managed to stay away but last week I found myself with the opportunity to gamble. My heart was racing my body was tingling and the adrenalin was pumping all the while the voices in my head were saying go on do it one last spin,go out on a high etc fortunately my mates dragged me out the bookies and we carried on with our Wee pub crawl but it's been on my mind since then. The bookies were in is one I'm self excluded from and as I was leaving one of the female staff noticed me and we nodded. She accepted I was only in with my mates and was just leaving so didn't need to ask me which has happened before and is awful and embarrassing. I'm still gf but recently have had a few down says which isn't like me at all and the thought of playing the fobts is looming large. Fortunately I still have my blocks in place and spending a lot of time with my son reminds me why I'm doing this and why it's imperative I don't go back. So just gotta keep fighting and hope that the urges will recede and give me a little respite. I'm currently at 41 days gf and although it's not massive having been a gambler for around 21 years I'm proud of how far I've came and I think it's important to recognise that. To often as compulsive gamblers we beat ourselves up etc but are slow to accept praise or recognition as we're still wallowing about in self pity. Anyway I'm happy at my total but don't just want more I need more,for my sanity and for my family! Wishing you all the best and good mental health people x

Hi nb, just saw your post on the 90 day challenge .

You know my problem was always the Fobt's mate and I wouldn't go back to them for anything , their designed tpo suck the life right out of you , to give you just enough false hope to keep you interested and then " Wham " suck you right back in to keep playing hoping that you'll get " Lucky " and get some of your money back , is the promise of £ 500 going to change your life that much , if you win £ 500 that is ? and you know as well as I do that should you be fortunate enogh to have £13 on one number , you wont be happy or walk away with it , you'll just plow it back in with the false feeling the machine has given you that your luck has changed , sound familiar ?? so youv'e proved for the last 40 odd days that you can live without them in your life and things must have improved a bit at least ? , you can do this , it's the reason you came here because 40 day's ago you wanted to give up gambling and get your life back , just keep fighting the urges and push through a little longer , they will go and it will become easier :))

Sorry for the rant but your doing so well and I just wanted to put you off going back to the mad cycle of destruction you left behind :))

Have a great day my friend and stay safe !!

Alan your post on my diary is the exact reason I came on here, Thankyou 🙂 that's gave me a kick up the b*m and a Wee boost! You know I was thinking when I was playing those awful machines when was the last time I won big? I couldn't even tell you when and I spoke to my counsellor about it and we were both saying that. When they first came out it seemed like me and all my mates were winning big but that was a long long time ago,now they just bleed you dry! Another reason that's fired me up was I had recorded the new series of red dwarf and it's sponsored by a betting company and its basically a woman sitting at a desk mocking people who have lost gambling and she says how they can sponsor the programme thanks to you losers!!!!!! Maybe it's meant to be tongue in cheek I don't know but I find it extremely distasteful and fired me up to not give these parasites any of my hard earned dosh especially that vile mocking company! Reminded me of Gerald ratner saying his jewellers only sold tat and he went out of business not long after! Anyway sorry for rambling a little but thanks again Alan you proved how useful this website can be in the ongoing battle! Cheers

Hi mate , your right about this site , it does give you the kick up the jacksey we all need at times , so often in the last year I've seen people drop away then reappear weeks later to say they gambled again , it's what we all need sometimes to come on here and lay our feelings out there and say " actually I'm having these feelings " , have a chat about it with people who know exactly how we feel and then put it to bed again , it's as Martin ( Oldham ) alway's say's " It's better to ramble than gamble ".

Your also correct about the machines paying out far more in the early days than they do now , obviously a ploy used to suck everyone in before bleeding them dry , Iv'e finally worked out that even if the payout percentages were higher they'd still have the advantadge the longer I played them , My Eurika moment when I decided enough is enough :)).

Keep ranting my friend as it's always good to talk :))

Life's far better without a Fob't in it :))

Stay safe nb

Hi nb, I've seen the adverts you're talking about. I was taken aback by the first one I saw. There's a whole series of them and they all take the same line of laughing at the people who lose their money to them. I was fuming at first, but then I realised she's got a point. We do lose, and they are making a fortune out of us and they are laughing at us. She's telling the truth. Like you, I found that it strengthened my resolve even more.

I know youre' finding it tough right now. Keep pushing through the urges as you have been doing. Dan said something recently about urges which I though was helpful. Not sure what you'll make of it but it, but I'll put it here in case it's of use....

From day@atime ..."An urge to gamble is an urge to fix a problem. Could be a whole host of things ranging from a traumatic experience to being bored. Urges are nothing more than red flags. A warning sign if you like that something in your life is off kilter. Welcome them. They are trying to tell you something needs your attention (& it isnt your need to bet)."

KOKO. LB x

Morning guys thanks for your posts and your support it is really appreciated. To think that total strangers take time out there day to give you words of advice or encouragement is awesome, truly means a lot.Feeling much more positive today got a busy day ahead and going on holiday in three weeks so important I stay on track! Have a great day people 🙂

Nice to see Mr positive's back in the room :))

Take care nb and havre a good day !

So just thought I'd scribble down a few words whilst I'm on here. The weekend was decent apart from the footy (beat again) but had a few beers with my best mate and hung out with the family for the rest of it. I'm still off work after my ankle surgery and was at the hospital today for a check up,it's healing but not just as quick as they or me would like it. I've been been off work for nearly three months now and as much as the time off has been great even though I haven't been at my most mobile I think when I get the all clear to go back to work it'll improve things as sitting about leads to boredom,temptation and overthinking things. Still gf but I guess my earlier bravado has disappeared and been replaced by a sense of realism. Just have sobering thoughts of the urges coming back in the future and hoping I'll be strong enough to resist them. Still I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment, I do have plans for further in the future but I'm feeling better just plodding along and should I remain gf and doing what I'm doing then the future will take care of itself 🙂 anyway that's enough nonsense for today I forgot how good it can be to come on here and just let your fingers ramble on. Cheers 🙂

Thanks for your recent post. Hope Alfie and dad are doing fine. I had another stumble but think I'm ready to get back on the wagon. Hope your recovery is smooth and quick. Both ankle and gambling recoveries 🙂 and yes I'm just rambling too xx

Hi wants2stop no probs.Sorry to hear of your recent setback but sadly they happen and I've been there all to often however I seem to have a better handle on things for now but still relatively early days even though I'm 50+ days I'm acutely aware how quickly it can disappear so I just keep doing what I'm doing and plodding along. Im sure you'll get there to just try and be positive and not beat yourself up to badly over your relapse. Good luck 🙂

So haven't posted in a while not really sure as to why,I guess I'm just trying to live as normal life as a compulsive gambler can lead. Had a lovely holiday in the sun and was good to get away and recharge the batteries. Now I'm back it's time to get some help regarding my debt etc had been scraping by but with life's little treats happening (car in garage and washing machine breaking) I realised just scraping by isn't good enough. I need more structure to my finances and hopefully this will get going this week. The thing about scraping by is that there's always a voice in my head telling me to play the fobt's as I can win cash and help myself out.Sadly it's taking me A long long time to figure out that ain't true and it only makes things worse. Overall I'm still doing ok and hanging on in there but it's a battle. Been feeling mixed emotions before and after my holiday and as I'm still off work I have to much thinking time on my hands which isn't always good but hey I'm still gf and winning everyday,just got to keep my head up and soldiering on. One day at a time...

Rightly or wrongly I'm not on here a lot but should maybe check out a few diaries etc overall I've been doing great and I'm now back at work and life is moving on at pace. I've noticed that I'm getting better at dealing with negative things in life and trying not to get worked up about stuff. Cars break down things go wrong etc but you've just got to accept it and move on. I think my problem and many others on here is that when we have a rough day or stuff happens then we head off and have a gamble as we have an "excuse" compulsive gamblers such as myself will use any justification be it family members dying or cars breaking down or a rotten day at work but I always ended up back there feeding the fobts and always had an excuse. I'm glad to say I haven't touched them in ages but I'd be lying if I said I still didn't have the urges but now I know how to limit my chances of ever going back to them. I go a different way home or I don't take extra cash or I even give my mate my money when we're out drinking do I don't pop out the pub to "use the phone" then come sulking back after half an hour and £100 down! I guess what I'm saying is things are decent but I still have a fragile state from time to time but as long as I have the barrriers and my will power in place I hope it's enough to get me through the day. One day at a time x

Hmmm so what just happened? I succumbed to the lure of roulette and my head is in a spin! I've no idea why i went and gambled as things have been going well. Right now i'm at work contemplating why it happened,how much i lost etc Having fought this battle for a number of years i am now experiencing the familiar self pity and the spinning head trying to work out how to pay my bills etc i cant change what has just happened and i certainly can't through away anymore money chasing losses. Why the heck can't i just be normal????? I hate it! I had went a long time gamble free and for what 🙁