In October 2009 I gave up gambling after 7 years of it.
I stayed 'clean' until August 2011 when I started playing online roulette again.
Since August I've really struggled to stop again, and my losses have been getting bigger and bigger.
I've lost heavily again today, and had to extend my overdraft to get me through the next few months. Luckily, the bank allowed me to borrow more money, otherwise I would have been penniless.
I know I can stop because I've done it before - but it's proving really difficult this time round.
The blocks are in place - betfilter on my laptop, restricted access to cards etc etc
I remember someone once saying that if you really want to stop gambling then you have to accept quitting has to become your number one priority in life above all else, otherwise it will destroy you.
There are many areas of my life that need addressing, but by tackling this problem then hopefully the by products of stopping will improve other aspects of life.
I am going to set myself small goals. The first is to stay gamble free until Wednesday (when I go back to work after a break). When I reach that day - then a new goal will be set. I am also going to count down towards my goals rather than just counting days.
Days to goal 5
I'll check in here again tomorrow.
Best wishes to all that read this,
Paul
I didnt want to read and run.
I just wanted to wish you well on your first mini goal, im sure by posting on here it will help you to achieve it.
I've been posting on here almost obsessivly! but it helps to talk about how you feel.
I agree, giving up does have to be number on priority, but only for a while (some might argue with me) But in the first few weeks I have felt its the number on priority. but as i hit 3 weeks tomorrow I want having a life again to be priority! The rest will come.
Good luck 🙂 Im sure you can do it.
Tw
I gambled on Friday and Saturday. This is not good, but on a positive note I haven't gambled today.
I have read through some other people's diaries and as always it's encouraging. I am feeling strong today that I can move forward and forget about my recent losses - chasing has never, and will never work.
I can recognise why I gambled on Friday - simply out of boredom.
I can recognise why I gambled on Saturday - I was drunk and wanted to do something rebellious.
I have insight into my problem and this has to be a good thing.
I am going to go to bed happy tonight that I haven't gambled today (despite lots of thoughts) and will deal with tomorrow when it comes.
Last gamble 3rd December 2011
You are on the right path and well done for coming on here, but you need to be very wary of when the urges creep up on you. I relapsed a couple of weeks ago when I wasn't on my guard.
I believe that total abstinence is the key, and if you have a wife or partner you should share this with them to help you achieve this. If not go to GA or gmacare meetings or anywhere else that offers help - my biggest regret is not asking for help sooner.
My ex-fiancee called off our wedding (not due to gambling or anything) which was supposed to be last month. I have realised my dream in life is to be a husband and a father, and so I am setting myself little goals along the way to help me reach that dream.
You should do the same, plan out the little goals, which you seem to be doing, but they must all lead towards the one thing - a completely gamble-free life. Anyone who has reached the stage of being on here but feels they can 'control' their gambling is kidding themselves.
Remember, never chase a loss because you will never catch it.
Best Wishes
OS
dont give up giving up odaat good luck
Thanks for the replies, folks.
Not back at work until Wednesday, so need to fill my days to stop boredom creeping in - and since I need to watch every penny I spend, that means doing dull tasks like the housework! But if that's what it takes to stop my mind wandering towards gambling then so be it.
No gambling today I'm pleased to say.
I've busied myself with household chores and running a few errands - nothing exciting but my primary focus is getting a few days gamble free under my belt and letting go of the losses.
The only way I can gamble at the moment is in betting shops. I've got betfilter on my laptop and this has been a good move - I would recommend it to anyone.
I haven't gambled today, and I won't gamble tomorrow!
Last gamble 3rd December 2011
Hi Paul
Like you i have bet fiter and think its great, all them long nights i spent on there drunk gambling with my partners cards cos i haven't got an account. Knew i couldn't win anything cos it was her account, just done it cos im an addict. That's half the battle mate, shops is obviously the other half. Do you have a friend that would go with you and help you self exclude from them?? As for the boredom, maybe read a couple of diaries on here. Dan addicted has just got to a year, now there's a good read, also Winningpost, S.A, and Gettingthere. Long reads but good reads, maybe they'll get you in the frame of mind you need to beat this addiction.
Remember, one day at a time, that's all we can do.
Take care, all the best
Keith
Another day gamble free.
Felt a little bit down and a bit short-tempered today. I recognise these feelings as 'withdrawal' from a period of gambling - so I won't dwell too much to on it.
Back to work tomorrow, and that will present new challenges to overcome. I've often linked my gambling and stress at work, or turning to gambling as a 'reward' at the end of a hard day.
Will keep my guard up and press on.
My next goal which will start tomorrow is to get to Xmas Eve without a bet.
Last gamble 3rd December.
Days to goal 0/18
No gambling yesterday!
I'm finally coming to terms with my recent debts and realise that it's going to take a long time to pay them off. However, as long as I don't gamble anymore then in time they will reduce and eventually disappear - sounds easy, huh? One day at at time...
Days to goal 2/18
No gambling today.
On something of a high as I have been offered a new job in January, although I haven't said yes yet.
It's amazing - I have said to myself time and time again "good things happen when I don't gamble" and it looks like I've been proved right less than a week into my recovery!
Last gamble 3rd December
well done paul and keep going you know you can do this and gratz on the job offer maybe just what you need to start your new life.
all the best
No gambling yesterday.
I had a very stressful day at work yesterday, and this has probably made up my mind to say YES to the new job that I've got lined up.
It's been a week since my last gamble, so I'm pleased to have got this far.
Days to goal 4/18
No gambling yesterday, and I probably won't be leaving the house today, so that will be another day gamble free.
Installing betfilter was without doubt the best thing for me. I really resented having to pay £46 for it, but the fact I can't access any gambling sites means the temptation has been totally removed.
Last gamble 3rd December 2011
Days to goal 5/18
Another day passes gamble free. Notching up the days now and moving closer to my first goal, which is to stay clean until Xmas Eve.
I'm hoping that this week I'll be able to accept a new job offer, starting in January which would be a great start to the new year. Got high hopes for 2012 - it has to be better than 2011 and 2010 for that matter!
Last gamble 3rd December 2011
Days to goal 6/18
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