Back to Square One

Wilsy and ste ven thank you both for your supportive comments!

194 days to go

No gambling today.

Quite a busy day at work today, especially for a Monday! I was going to treat myself to a haircut on the way home as I'm starting to look like a tramp, but I was tired and just wanted to get home... that's OK though haircut can wait.... a few more days anyway!

Going to enjoy the rest of my evening by having a bath and chilling out with a DVD instead of just mindless internet browsing, which I do far too much of.

Another day passes gamble free, so all in a all a successful day.

Onwards....

Hi Paul,

You sound back to your positive old self and today sounded busy which is good isn't it but now you are looking for calming influences this evening. Many of us are uptight, anxious people who struggle when bored, so a relaxing CD, or TV series, hobby or sport to do in the evening will do you the world of good but get your hair cut first, so you can see where you are walking. 🙂

Will done mate on another gamble free day.

Wilsy

193 days to go

No gambling today.

192 days to go

It's only early yet I know, but no gambling today.

I'm starting to feel a bit calmer now and not worrying so much about the debts. My budget is in place and although virtually every penny is accounted for as long as I don't gamble things will be ok - if a little tight. The debt isn't going to disappear overnight, I know that, so it's a case of setting myself up for the long haul which I think I've done.

Best wishes to all

Last gamble 20th April 2012

hi paul011982,

well done for staying bet free and for reducing the debt!dont worry about your debt mate...you have 192 days to go and i m having...(just calculated) 1825 days to go...lol

unfortunately we are paying our mistakes of the past but there is no other solution than that.

take care

mike

191 days to go

No gambling today.

Urges come and go but I choose not to act on them.

Last gamble 20th April 2012

190 days to go

It's four weeks to the day since my last gamble. My head was completely gone that day and I couldn't lose my money quick enough. Despite being at work I was in the bookies for just past opening and quickly lost the money I had saved up for my holiday. I went back to my desk and tried to extend my overdraft by £300 which they agreed to - problem solved, I had money for my holiday. Anyway, I was soon back to the bookies after work and proceeded to lose £100 of said overdraft in about 3 mins on the roulette - it was unbelievable, I had about 10 spins and not one win. I had completely lost the plot by this point, so drove home and, you guessed it, stopped at another bookies on the way. Same outcome, another £100 down - I was fixated betting wrecklessly on the roulette, and losing it all in about 5 mins. I actually tried to get another loan when I got home, but it was refused and that's when i came back on here.

In the past 4 weeks I've scrimped and saved, but have still been able to do normal things.

I never ever want to experience a day like that again, and over the years there had been plenty like that, some involving much larger sums of money.

Last gamble 20th April 2012

HI Paul,

Well done on reaching 4 weeks you should be proud of what you have achieved. This ilness is progressive in its nature mine had just started to progress to routlette that was my rock bottom, and like you before i stopped i couldnt lose my money quick enough and it wasnt about the winning either, thats when I knew i had to stop it was spiralling out of control and i had lost all hope.

25 days ago i made a choice and i have made that same choice every day after, just for today i will not gamble.

Keep fighting the good fight paul,

Blondie day 25

189 days to go

An early post for me today as I'll be out all day at a wedding, so will be another day gambling free.

I want to go easy on the drink today cos in the past when I've stopped gambling I've drunk quite heavily and used that as an escape outlet, which has led to it's own set of problems!

Last gamble 20th April 2012

Mate I have just read your diary, well done. I'm on day 5 of my god knows how many times trying to stop. Somethings different for me this time, my little boy I think. Looking at your thoughts and losing the plot when you gamble reminds me of me. Good luck and look on my diary if you want, it's a sorry tale! We need to do this sounds like we are both on the edge financially and can't really tell anyone. Happy to buddy up if you need? Doggy (Dave).

188 days to go

Had a good day yesterday and only spent about half of what I'd budgeted for, so I'll be putting that money to good use and not gambling it away.

Got a few things planned for today so the fact that I'm busy should hopefully keep thoughts of gambling to the back of my mind.

Last gamble 20th April 2012

188 days is brilliant, only 12 more days until the next big milestone.

Hope you have a little treat planned in store for yourself.

After all, you deserve it!

NT

187 days to go - until my debt becomes 'manageable'

This is my first target on the road to quitting gambling for good and become debt-free.

I have learnt the hard way in the past that being debt-free doesn't mean I am cured of my gambling problems - they'll be with me for life I suspect, and I just have to accept that and not get drawn back into that murky world.

Last gamble 20th April 2012 (32 days ago)

Hi Paul

Well done mate, i am now 6 days free, murky is a great way to describe it, horrible is another, lets do this, we have to.

Dave

Hi Paul

Just been through your journal, again a very insightful read, I have had bet today, but walked in and walked out waiting to see if I get any returns, I do know that day zero needs to start ideally tomorrow, but we will see (one day at a time), keep up the good work and keep sharing your story, there are those of us that it inspires to get serious,

Take care

John