Been here before, let's try this again

Hiya Adam you are doing really well pal even though you bet you was honest to your self and you have said you no it was wrong and are trying to put more stops in place which is great .if you tell your dad or close friend maybe you could give them control of your money for a while don't have any in bank and when you need some for.work or going seeing friends ask your dad or friend for an allowance I know.it sounds a bit childish but if it stops you gambling that's what counts carry on what your doing and good luck ps sorry for the punctuation my phone is not the best lol

Hi Adam,

Glad i found your thread!

Keep going...we can do this! Also well done on the stop smoking! Its my goal to quit aswell..I do vape...and smoke as well...I suppose its indictive of my 'go big or go home mentalilty'.

Speak soon!

Thankyou Adam for the post on my diary, the support of GamCare friends has kept me going when I was feeling negative. We're all different but we're all brothers and sisters, together, on the same journey up the recovery road. We help each other on the way, we don't judge one another and we share our hopes and ideas. By the side of the road you will sometimes hear our supporters cheering us on and giving us good advice, thats the families and friends ( including admin) who want so much to see us do well. This addiction destroys lifes indiscriminately whilst masquerading as a friend. It is insidious. Get out while you can my friend otherwise it will destroy you ....stephen

Thanks for your replies.

Tommy - Thanks man for your message. Means a lot. That's not a bad idea about the allowance. I might give that a try. Cheers pal.

Xenedra - I managed another day smoking free. It's still really hard, but kinda comforting knowing I have a vape so I could nip out at work to "smoke" if I had to. I hope the cravings start to die down next week.

Abstainer - Thanks for the reply. Lovely post. Agreew ith everything you said. It's my mission to beat this.

Day 3. Feeling good. Beginning to recognise people in the Chatroom. Feel like it's a bit of a comfort to see the same faces. Weirdly seems to help as we can keep a check on each other. I don't wanna lie to these guys.

Day 5.

Today is a good day. Had a lovely weekend and recharged my batteries ready for next week at work (gonna be a busy one). Got my life organised a little bit. Got some routines set up for this week so I can fit in more exercise and map out my evenings a bit better so I am not drawn into temptation or boredom.

Starting to look forward to the future a lot more now. Feel oddly confident about this. More confident on Day 5 now than I've felt on Day 25 in the past. Maybe something has changed this time? Could be that I've banned myself from free games. Truly the devils work.

Day 6.

Today has been a BRILLIANT day for a number of reasons.

1. My smoke free app has told me (based on my average) I haven't smoked 50 cigarettes since I quit. That's 50 cravings I've beat. If I can overcome 50 urges to smoke, I can do anything.
2. I overcame a huge challenge at work. I'm the youngest person at my work and I do feel sometimes like that is a bit of a struggle due to my lack of life experience but I really feel I am taking the right steps to impress the right people and get work done to the best possible standard.
3. I went to the gym after work, ran for 45 minutes. I also ate healthy and as a result my body feels brilliant.
4. I actually have money, spare....that I can spend....on things?! This never happens, ha!
5. Still GF.

When I was on the treadmill I was reflecting on the past year and how far I've come and I realised something. The past few months have been the training for a marathon. I've tried, tried, and tried and failed. I've then used my failings to apply new methods to do better next time. All this training has lead up to this moment. The race has begun. And whilst I am only in my first 100 meters of 26 miles... I know that I will manage it, because I've put in the training and the right processes in place.

Something has clicked in my brain. I just feel so different.

Hope others are reading your posts - very uplifting - and your hard work and self-discipline is paying off and the good feeling you have is that great weight of worry about gambling starting to lift from your young shoulders. Keep running, keep busy and keep counting those gfree days. Good luck.

Thank you for your kinda words as always. Again, your support helps so much.

Day 10 today. And it's FRIDAY. I have been so busy the past few days I haven't even thought about gambling. The only blip I've had was today all the talk about the lottery. But I just ignored that little voice trying to pull me back in and I'm still on track.

Feeling super positive. Loving life.

Hi Adam, it's good to see you've banned yourself from the free slots. I used to spend hours on the stupid things but had to wean off them as well, not healthy, and feeding the addiction. Let's not go back there!!! You are doing well keep it up!

Thank you 4D. They are awful! I never realised how much they fuel the fire. I think that's why I've been able to stick to things this time round - there is nothing keeping the addiction going.

Day 13?! The dates are really adding up now. I went to the gym after work today so feeling a lot more energised and positive after a bit of an inludgence this weekend with the pizza and beer.... Gotta treat yourself right?! Also officially 2 weeks smoking free. An achievement I am so proud of.

I know I can keep it up and it looks like I'll hit my 100 day around Christmas/New Year time which will be such a good way to enter 2018. Happy times.

Day 17. Friday once more and I am in an estatic mood.

Had a real productive week at work this week and feel such a benefit from working with such an intelligent and creative group of people. Payday falls next Friday too...starting to get my mind reinforced and into training to ensure nothing bad happens.

Still smoking free - 18 days. Exercise has been a little slack this week but I will recover it next week. I can't be perfect all the time ha! But I am d**n sure I can be gamble free.

Hi Adam, congratulations on your 17 & 18 days & good on you for recognising so young that you have to do something to get these addictions under control.

You have obviously found the chat room but just wondering whether you’d given any thought to GA? You will find a plethora of real life buddies there, including a sponsor if you decide to work the Steps (12 step recovery program). Coming here & reading diaries everyday is good but the steps give you a bit more structure.

I do think it would be very good to get your father on board as it makes you accountable & takes the secrecy out of the equation. Shoot for the skies - ODAAT

Thank you for your comments both.

ODAAT - I have thought about GA, the only thing is the nearest place is about a 30 mile drive and the sessions are during the week which makes it very difficult. Especially added to the fact that I haven't been driving for long so those kinda trips sound daunting. I am however thinking about the counselling they offer here. I've had some time to reflect this past month and there are some clear underlying issues which I think draw me back to gambling. I'm just not sure how to access those feelings? Thank you for your support. It means a lot.

Ineffable - All good actually, had a very busy week at work, throwing myself into things so I barely think about it. A bit helper was banning myself from going on free games which were really just enabling me to continue gambling. Ah yes - many many relapses, but like you said, each time you pick yourself up and learn from "what went wrong". I feel I've almost got the magic combination for myself now. Which feels incredibly empowering. Thanks again for the support.

Payday was yesterday. Applied my financial safety net - sorted. Day 25 today. Onwards and upwards.

Hi Adam,

thanks for your message on my diary. I have read your first post and you mention blockers, just wondered did you have someone put a password onto yours for you, since this is the only way it will really work? Also I had the main issue, accessing sites through my phone, it was just too easy. I have an Iphone and what you can do is download K9 web browser which blocks all gambling sites. Then you can set up restrictions on the phone and turn off access to the safari brower, on the iphone this is a 4-digit number which my wife has put in so I have no idea what it is. Just an idea for you, this cannot be beaten without the correct blocks

Luckily enough I have rarely been into bookies so that is not so much of a temptation for me.

Keep up the good work and happy to chat anytime, I would find it usefull as well. I might see you on the chat room sometime this week

thanks, Dan

DAY 28.

This is a strange feeling - almost been a week since payday and still have my money. I think this is the longest I've ever been gamble free (and it feels amazing).

Work has been a big help. I've thrown myself into it trying to take on extra responsibility and make it more of a passion. Luckily, I am loving it. Alongside my 28 days gamble free, I am also 29 days smoking free which I am also SO incredibly proud about, it's almost like a double whammy.

My next focus is tweaking my diet a bit and continuing in the gym. I am unfortunately a bit of a comfort eater so I think it'll be important to focus on removing that reliance if I'm having a stressful day for example - instead of a pizza, I can have an apple ha!

Onwards and upwards!