Been here so many times and then I think I can control things and then destruct

7 Posts
4 Users
0 Reactions
1,172 Views
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

I am back started the new year with good intentions. Gutted too say the least, started gambling last night thinking start a we bet challenge one bet a day in the football. Ended up starting with £10 and betting on everything got up too £70 but didn't withdraw. Ended up losing it and going too the bookies and losing £170 everything I had. Ended up blowing my last £50 on virtual dogs. Thinking back now I am like how can you be so stupid but when your in the zone your thinking about how stupid you have been and trying too get your money back as quick as possible. I do well up until 40 days and then I have urges and give in. I know I can do it just need too stay strong and stay on here chatting too people. It's a wee slip up. Could be worse I suppose. Starting at day 1 again let's do this. A gamble free life is an honest life, looking forward never back

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 1:11 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7075
 

Hi Ally,

Welcome back and good see you starting your diary.

Yes, this addiction is ever so sly :-/ ...recovery takes time, courage, dedication and most importantly - honesty.
Putting blocks in place is necessary and i do hope you already have self excluded from those places. However, that's not enough and the main work starts from within. Concentrate on yourself, seek for help out there, understand your actions and build fresh new life ahead.
Sometimes we fall 10 times so we can stand bk up and take the new route ahead - the one which works.

Keep posting, keep safe and i wish you well in yoir journey ahead. You're never alone, ..keep making the right choice.

Sandra

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 6:03 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Cheers Sandra 12 for your kind words. Honesty has brought me back here and wanting too give up for good. I have nothing too show for my hard work in life. I have gave the bookies everything I have had. Time too start making something of my life. Still only 34 so time yet. I have always said I can't afford a mortgage or fancy holiday but can lose a fortune on gambling. A gamble free life is a normal life stay strong and good luck on your journey.

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 12:55 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hello, Ally,

A gf life is all of these things but as Sandra says, to achieve it, the starting point is effective barriers.

If you want to stop, you need to actually DO what it takes. Good intentions and will power are meaningless, unless they are backed up by action.

Self exclude from the bookies and/or their websites, block your devices and safest is to use a non Internet phone. Obtain a new bank card that is not linked to any websites, limit your access to cash or credit, ideally by getting your OH to look after your money and your new card.

I see that you don't want to tell him but realistically it's the only way forward. Read Kelmar's thread, where she says it's the best thing she ever did. And real recovery depends on honesty, there's nothing real about a relationship based on continued lies.

Finally, get external support from GC and or GA.

The practical advice is out there but it's down to you to follow it. If you don't, then nothing changes because nothing changes.

Over to you.

CW

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 1:21 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi ally

This is only my 2nd day gamble free but I know where you coming from didn't have a bet last year for 6 months thought I was doing well and controlled my habit. Started the new year with a f**k up lost £700 to gambling thing is I know now I can't control my gambling I need to stop all together as if I start I won't stop.

Wishing you well on your journey to a gf life

Grayman

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 1:38 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Cheers for the kind words grayman, cynical wife and dean8008. Your so right when having the urge come on and read my first post and see where I was and where I have come. I can give up its the time scale when you go a month and you can control it. You's are so right not knowing when too stop is the problem. I have blocked everything and going too run on a tight budget for the next month or 2 too try and get back on track. I am a better person gf. When gambling I am always on edge and want too win all the time and can't accept loss. I am a compulsive gambler and cannot gamble. It's good too have the support from others

 
Posted : 24th January 2016 2:33 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

6 days without a bet feeling positive and determined. Enjoying watching sport without getting stressed or annoyed. The past week has made me realise I don't need gambling in my life. Some said when I have an urge go back and read my first statement of where I was at. I think that will work so much. Moving forward not looking back

 
Posted : 29th January 2016 10:17 am

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close