Hi all
As of today I have gone 21 days without a single bet on anything, online, on land, not even lotto or village T*****a...I have decided that this is how it is going to stay!
I have had a diary on here before (it is currently in the doldrums on page 7/8 - if anyone wants to read it is called Breathing Space) but have decided to start a new one as in the last one I was still undecided about whether to stop all forms of betting.
For those who kindly read my diary before I will update. My preferred form of betting was online mostly slots and that is where I lost most of my money before. I decided to stop and self excluded for a month and after the month was up carried on for a couple more weeks without turning to a bet. however at this time I never said to myself I would not bet again (just putting it off...)
There were two triggers which lead me back. One was having a bet on the Grand National which lost. One was then going to a night at the Dogs where I broke even. I have never had a problem as such with these sorts of bets HOWEVER looking back I was caught out by being complacent. What happened was because I was able to stay in control with these "social" bets then I decided I was OK to start back online...
Well soon enough I was right back to gambling heavily every day and everything I had decided I could do without was BACK. Gambling was once again sucking my time and my life away. This time was worse than before involving payday loans and risking everything time and time again. I was back in the cycle big time.
I do not like the person I become when gambling.
In the end I managed to recoup what I lost but I do not want to go through the stress and pain of risking all I have EVER again. On that day I said to myself, right, that is it, if you ever have one more bet you might as well kiss goodbye to any money you will ever have. I have seen how for me I cannot gamble at all, ever, even on the lottery as it is feeding something which I would rather starve out of myself.
I have been reading and following all of your diaries for the last three weeks and they have been a great source of support so thank you all. I wanted to post on day 1 but for some reason have been hanging back. Well I am ashamed that I gambled but I am proud that I am saying good bye to it FOR GOOD.
4D
Hey 4D;
Good to have you back, and needless to say I think stopping for good is a very good decision. You sound so clear about what you aim to do and not fussed about it, so I have a good feeling about you staying clean! Lets do this together:o)
Cheers
Well done 4D,
I see you've come to the same conclusion that I did after years of gambling. Any kind of betting for me will just lead to further problems throughout the other areas of my life.
Hope you can succeed in your aims, and I agree with Martin that it was a good decision.
Ryan
Hi Pencil!
I have had similar experiences to you in that I quit, thought I was cured and got lured back in.
Welcome back, good move 🙂
We will beat this mo fo!
f x
Hi,i recall posting on your previous diary 4D,i'm glad that you have decided to quit for good,interesting point you make about a couple of sports bets that lured you back to online slots,my drug of choice when gambling was horses and greyhounds.....,i've never been interested in slots or fruit machines,however i am sure that i could become addicted to that form of gambling as well!!!....,as compulsive gamblers we cross a line in the sand from which (in my view)there is no going back,after that point we will gamble until we have lost everything....and lie, scheme and do anything we can to raise more money to repeat the cycle....,the debts spiral....,well ,you know the score!!!.You have made the right decision.
Best thoughts.
Seano.
Well done on 21 days without gambling from someone on 72 days.
Just make sure that we always have a 51 day gap between us, eh?!
All the best and keep on posting.
Good on you 4d im like you the tiniest of bets will potentially make me fall from the great Heights i am hopefully gonnae scale 🙂 well done impressive reading,we can do this
Hi 4D,
Well done on deciding to come back to your diary. It's a great place for support, guidance and friendship.
Online was my thing and my goodness how I racked up the debts through it. It's not worth it...it's not value for money. We are all better than this. Keep going and make sure you have blocks in your way for when the gambling Gods decide to strike again...and they will, because they are very, very patient!
All the best, love from Jas xx
Thanks guys for your posts, they are appreciated. I'm doing OK at the moment as urges not too bad. Making sure I check in here each day to at least read or ideally post as well when I can.
The laptop is blocked so I could not go on and gamble even if I wanted to - this is the number one step for me and I put this in place 3 weeks ago. I'm very glad that I did as well as despite having the desire to stop completely I doubt I would have made it to three weeks without that as the sheer habit is so hard to break.
The other thing I have done is started going to the gym again, this has been a massive help and it was reading diaries on here (like S.A's and others) where people talk about this that inspired me! I realised I needed to do something to release stress which wasn't escaping to gambling, but since I hadn't exercised in so long I had forgotten how good it makes you feel. Realised that getting fit takes a while since you first have to make the changes to lifestyle and stick to them and eventually your body adapts...same as getting to be an ex-gambler takes a while and you have to make the changes first before you start to feel the benefits.
so all in all..feeling good at the moment, I'm going to make sure it stays that way by not gambling
4D
Just logging in to report no gambling for today. I've been reading the diaries and getting some inspiration - thanks ppl. A short post tonight as not feeling too good (physically - mentally am feeling happy due to not gambling)
4D
Well done on joining the gym - this will certainly help you to blow away any cobwebs and thoughts that you may have of the g word.
I find that running does the same for me and joining a running club was the best thing that I have ever done - I just wish that I did that years ago.
Keep up the great work mate, onwards and upwards!
I'm pleased to say today marks 28 days of no bets for me.
Feeling positive still about it all. looking back at the month, the first week was definitely the hardest after stopping in terms of urges and it was mainly the blocks which stopped me, but for now I do not actually feel like I want to gamble...I have been reading on this forum at least once a day, catching up with diaries, posting when I can, and this is helping.
Talking to my partner has also helped.
However I am aware that I managed to do a month before without too many problems. And then complacency stepped in. I am hoping that this time will be different as I will be keeping the blocks in place!!!
I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT LIFE..EVER!!
4D
Hey 4D,
Well done on getting through the first month without the gambling mate, as you mentioned yourself, the first week is the hardest, and after that it is a case of gradually training yourself not to dwell on gambling. I can't say I don't think about it, because I do. Very often. In terms of complacency, I think I'd be concerned if I didn't think about betting every now and again, because I know it can hit almost without any conscious thought going into it.
Keep up the good work,
Ryan
Hi 4D,
Well done you...28 days is brilliant 🙂
Keep all the blocks in place, keep yourself busy, keep posting and stay happy 🙂
love from Jas x
Hi 4D,
Nice meeting you in chat earlier.
Sensible decision you have reached in deciding to quit gabmling full stop. As Stumper always says, we cannot win because we cannot stop. Simple words but so very true.
Keep making the right decisions and you will be just fine.
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