[Closed] Charly's life

morning Charly xx

Rodders 'e*e...

well it's a boring thursday morning...I've done my 'homework' lol...and now time to write abit I think xx

so for your diary it's a big hello and what have you been up to ?

luv Rodders

Hi Charly, just popping by to say hi been thinknig of you and hope you doing ok.

See things have been a bit of a struggle recently, seems we all hit the wall together for a bit. My break did me good. I hope you find peace and direction soon too.

Have a great weekend xx

Hi Charly , thanks for your post. As i said to Lucy im not sure when my pinning will be. As i go to Southend and Loughton it could be at either but i know Southend had an open meeting while i was away so maybe Loughton, although the convention is around that time so who knows.

Rest assured i will let you know.......it would be great to have you there with me. xxx

Morning Charly xx

Rodders 'e*e.....

a few words to hope you had a good weekend I passed the big 50 today !!! how great am I !!!

trying for the next 10 days....that'll be 2mths and to me that will be an incredible achievement,...from 6/7 hrs a day, every day down to nothing...pretty amazing xxxx

back at work so less time on my hands...what a great world it is today xx

Rodders

Email address I have is not working Charly. xx I tried yahoo.com and yahoo.co.uk

Hi charly..just been reading your last entry..I can relate to the people pleasing stuff and being overly affected by other peoples behaviour..but as you say we cannot control other peoples behaviour and nor should we try. I for one find myself getting very angry inside if someone tries to manipulate me into behaving in a particular way or tries to get me to do something for them that they could easilly fo for themselves... I guess its a power and control thing..a temporary ego boost..but not a way to win friends and influence people.

I think all we can change is how we as individuals react to people and events going on around us..its not easy though..thats for sure. All the best in your on-going recovery.. S.A

Hi Charly, bouncing you back up and hoping things are going well for you. See you are attending extra GA meetings and glad you are remaining focussed.

Love Keith xx

Charly

No problem. I am still looking forward to meeting you, but when it both suits us. It was a little bit quick notice from my side anyway. 😉

I will catch up on your diary soon. This one is only a quicky to let you know everything is fine.

xx

Hi Diary

I think I better make some time to update this diary. I have been extremely busy over the past few weeks with work, which is a good thing from one point of view, but very dangerous from another. Let me explain.

By working so many hours, I physically have no time to gamble, which is a great thing. The downside is, that I also haven't got time to work on me. I can quiet easily hide behind work to not have to look at my character defetcs. Much easier for me. NOT

Because in the past few weeks I have realised that not only do I suffer, the people I care most about, suffer too. There is no time to take my quiet half hour, there is no time to talk about emotions, no time for anything really. Last night, after the third or maybe even fourth attempt I have finally managed to talk to my Angel about how I have been feeling about a situation that has arisen at home about 2 weeks ago. Absolutely crazy. I cannot have baggage like that. It makes me angry, sad, frustrated and I then take that out on my loved ones. So, last night we have decided to make time. I still work longer hours.... but we share the duties at home now and that means we all have more free time to talk and share and be happier then we have been. It also gives me the chance to carry on working on me. Because I still have a long way to go. All positives. I have also noticed that some of my defects have already been addressed. Mainly my gambling. If a situation like the one I just had, had arisen last year, I would have run straight to the nearest casino or bingo hall. Even 3 months ago I might have done so.But I didn't this time. I also didn't go in guns blazing... I took the time to really think about the situation, talked it through with a few people and hey presto,I realised that I'm my worst enemy. Things have never been as bad as I thought they were. My outlook on the whole thing was just sooooo wrong. And you know something? The mind is a very strange thing, It comes up with all sorts of scenarios that jsut aren't there, never have been and most likely never will be. But I have always been very good at imagining all sorts, but failed also miserably to ever just talk about them as they arise.

I'm glad I had the chance to learn this and and am now able to apply it to my life.

I thank my G.A. family and this site for that.

It means that I must have listened to at least some of the advise I have been given in the past 14 months. 🙂

To free up time for my family I will no longer log in here every day to read. I will pop in once or twice a week instead. The same I will have to apply in other parts of my life, because it has become apparent, that I'm swapping one addiction with others - addicted to this site, to other sites that help cg's, I think I'm becoming addicted to the whole G.A. concept. I'm throwing my whole self into the recovery programme(or so I thought) Ok, I help where I can and it gives me the greatest pleasure to be able to give someone else a bit of guidance and help. But I cannot let it take over my life.

Someone pointed that out to me at a meeting last Tuesday. Very wise if you ask me. He said, maybe you are unwittingly putting G.A. at the forefront of your life, when you family should be equally important.

I will now have to find that healthy balance, the golden mean, as my fellowship suggests.

Sorry for rambling on. I hope it makes sense. It makes perfect sense to me. You all carry on with your recovery and I pray that we all find the golden mean to live our lives happy and content

Love you all

God BLess

Charly :)x

Charly........makes perfect sense. I posted to Steve yesterday about the work thing and swapping one addiction for another, its certainly something ive done before and am aware of it now.

Its what makes this recovery program a lifelong committment, so much to mend, so much to work on after years of neglect and not growing up in the real world.

You have a special partner and obviously i dont know all your personal stuff, but its also as obvious that you love each other and how committed he is to you and both your futures.

Youre right, the mind is so powerful and along with this illness .....what a force we have to arrest, but we have the weapons to do it thanks to GA.

Enjoy your extra time with your loved ones, and you will find the balance that fits you all, of that i have no doubt.

Love and best wishes....look forward to seeing you,

Keith xx

Hi Charly,

thanks for posting on my diary and yes maybe we will meet at Keiths pin 🙂

Just read through your diary and i think you are at a place a lot of us get to. Although i agree that GA should be as important in our lives as our loved ones i also think that without GA we wouldnt have our loved ones anyway so for me it has to come first to enable me to have the other things in life. I know i love my family/friends but also am aware that if i gamble again i risk losing them so i choose to keep GA as a priority.

I am lucky that my loved ones understand this and that it in no ways means i think they are less important just that it has to be my priority at the moment.

Keep strong and keep faith in that higher power.

Lol Charly

Findest du es auch jetzt komisch wenn du deutsch schreibst? Ich finde es schwierig und sogar typing geht langsamer, lol.

Mischevious, huh? 😉

Sounds good to me, we will have a good laugh my dear friend.

By the way, higher power, where ever it comes from and what ever it is, I am a big believer if someone believes in something which helps them then it's good and true.

(Well, saying that after talking to Jehova Witness for 2 hours at my house, they shouted at me in the end, so not quite sure now, lol)

Kidding aside, I hope you will find the calm Charly and nurture yourself from this feeling.

Speak to you soon and the meeting is coming closer, I can feel it.

xx

Andrea

Hi Charly. Just wanted to send you a big hug, as you have done so many, many times for me. I've really found finding that right balance hard lately. Too much work isn't good, but too much down time isn't either. I'm working hard to improve myself as a whole person, though, not just on the recovery side, and that's helping.

Love ya,

Anna

morning charly just a quick thank you for posting in my diary and for your thoughtfulness xx

It's day 60 today and feeling very good...next target for me isn't day 61..or though the teaching suggest it should be...but day 75....it's my favourite number....or at least it will be when I reach it xx

luv Rodders

Hi Charly,

Very many thanks for your kind words, much appreciated. I know you are incredibly busy, been having quite a struggle on so many fronts. Sometimes feels totally overwhelming..just need to take a step back, a wee breather.

re-focus your attentions where they are needed most. YOU & YOUR FAMILY are the priorities, the rest will follow on. There are only so many hours in the day, so we need to ensure we use them wisely, glad to see though you are able to see progress which is the main thing.