[Closed] Charly's life

Hi Charly...just a quick hi and hope all is well in your world and you are enjoying your extra time with your family.

Keith x

Hi Diary

Thanks to all who have posted here.

Keith, everything is going great in Charly's world.

Like I said I am refocusing and as Wills so kindly pointed out, me and my family come first. 🙂

I love all you guys and girls here, because without you and your stories, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I try and read the posts. There are so many new people here and I can't post in everyone's diary. So here is a little something to help everyone who reads it.

My angel and I have finally established that it is far more important to talk then to do anything else. We have both been in our own thinking world and have both been imagining things that would never really happen. Crazy how the mind works at times. A lot of misunderstandings later and we are happier then ever. We are learning to talk about our concerns and not let them fester in our minds into something huge, when in reality it can usually be resolved with a hug. We do laugh a great deal now. We learned that we din't talk to each other about our issues because we didn't want to hurt or upset the other one. How daft is that. Because by not talking, that is exactly what we have been doing. 🙂

I'm letting my Higher Power take care of me and it is working a treat. Life is good, normal, happy. I thank all those who have shown me the way with their stories and I hope I can help one or two people with mine.

My angel and I are off to Cornwall on Tuesday for a 2 week break and I can't wait(tut-tut-still impatient about some things, lol)

We are going proper camping with my angel's sister and her partner. We all get on really well and have holiday'ed together last year and had a fab time. I feel very greatful to all my support sources - G.A., my little brother, gamcare forum and Safe Harbor. But most of all I am greatful to my Angel and my children. For without them I wouldn't have walked this new wonderous path, finding and liking 'me', learning to live with 'me', changing the things I am able and willing to change, and changing those things I was unwilling to change.

By changing the way I look at things and changing me from the inside, I am becoming a more focused, more happy person.I have learned that I can only change me and not anyone else around me and by doing just that, the attitude from everyone around me is changing. Amazing stuff.

I'll update again when I'm back off holiday.

Consider this post as a personal message to each and everyone of you for I can't possibly post messages individually.

I wish you well in your recovery. May you find the strength and courage to change the things, that have never worked for you in the past.

God Bless

Charly 🙂

Charly,

Thanks for the post and the encouragement - this place really does help all of us so much. Silly how little reminders like the red watering can play such an important part in our recoveries. It will be a constant reminder to me of the person i had become - selfish, greedy, mean and totally wrapped up in myself. Looking back 5 weeks those were quite dark days - things are in a much better place now thank God.

Enjoy your holiday - you certainly deserve it! Your story gives hope and inspiration to others like me who are at the beginning of the journey.

Wishing you well

Tiodaat

Hi Charly..great to see you in good spirits. The camping trip sounds great. My year is up on 7th September but i have no idea when my pinning will be as im off to Thailand on 17th Sept until 13th Oct so im guessing it will be sometime after that.

Best wishes to you and that fella of yours...........have a great hols xxx

Hi Charly!

Thanks for your post in my diary. It was great to see you there!

Have caught up a bit on your diary. Tremendously pleased to read that life is going splendid for you. Your camping holiday sounds wonderful, it has been years since I have been camping. How nice that you can go with family and have a great time.

Thank you for your latest post on your diary. It was quite inspiring for this struggling cg to read.

Have a beautiful holiday with your Angel!

Love,

Julie

Charly

Just a quick one to let you know, that I successfully found you on forum eventually, lol.

Good to see that live is taking a turn to happiness and solving issues in your life.

I still am planning to meet you, but there is no hurry. When the time is right we will meet, and I am still very much looking forward to it.

Meanwhile we both are working hard on everything.

Big hugs

Andrea

Hellllooooooo Everyone

I'm back!

And what a holiday it was.

We left for Coventry on the first day of our holiday(Tuesday) to visit my angel's god daughter first, whose birthday it was while we were away camping.

In the night I had the most horrendous tooth ache. I was due to have 2 teeth taken out tomorrow. but the tooth ache meant I had to find an emergency dentist in Coventry before we travelled to Cornwall. I managed to find one and had the 2 little buggers taken out on the Wednesday(second day of holiday). Thursday morning the four of us(angel,his sister, her partner and me) set off to Cornwall. We drove through some really bad weather, but when we arrived at the campsite just outside St Austell, the sun was there to greet us. We pitched the tents, had something to eat, went for a stroll to see what's around us, went back to the tents and it started to rain. Then the wind became stronger. Then it rained more and more and the wind got even stronger. We spent the first night, holding on to the tents. We had 55mile an hour winds, storm force 10 and sideways torrential rain. Wonderful.

We finally went to bed at 6.30 Friday morning and had a few hours much needed sleep. The tents held and that was the main thing. Alot of others weren't as fortunate as we were. People left the camp site from 3am onwards. On a neighbouring camp site, a lot of caravans had their awnings ripped to shreds.

So after such a rocky start we were hellbend on enjoying the rest of our stay. And we did. We had better weather after that, mostly sunshine with the odd daily shower. Winds were high again last Thursday night, but not nearly as bad as the first night.

We all had a brilliant time. Went to St m**s, Fowey, Falmouth(by boat), Goonhilly(Satellite Earth Station near Helston). I don't think I have laughed so much in my life. Well at least not for a long time.

All four of us got on really well. I knew that though, because we all have been camping together before(2 years ago on the the Isle of Wight and if I remember right we laughed a lot there too)

I am very blessed with the people around me.

I'm feeling great. This holiday was just what me and my angel needed. Just get away from day to day things. Chill out, talk and laugh together. Every day I see as a blessing.

I am happy. 🙂

Love to all who read this.

God Bless

Charly

Good Day to Everyone

It's Sunday.... the sun is shining.... I'm pottering around at home.... doing a four hour G.A. helpline shift... and am feeling great...

Life is good. No urges to gamble... Finances finally on track...(I can finally see the end of the tunnel...Hooray)

I wake up in the morning and I feel blessed... it was a difficult road... loads of up and downs on the way... now the road seems more even, somehow less of a struggle. Don't get me wrong. Things happen and they can make me feel happy, sad, upset, angry, frustrated etc.

The difference between now and back when I gambled is enormous. I am able to listen to my feelings. I can tell myself that it will be ok. I can feel anger and tell myself... it's ok to be angry about this or that and then tell myself to look for something positive even from a bad event because just for today I can handle whatever life throws at me.

It's very difficult to describe the emotions I go through. I know that I have been very fortunate to have gone down the road of gambling. For without that experience, I wouldn't have looked at me as closely as I have and I certainly wouldn't have made the changes to me that were nessecary for me to become a better person.

Nowadays I let life be, not trying to change everything to suit me. Life goes on regardless of my interference. I try not to interfere... and life is better. Really strange.... but true.

I find myself more and more at peace with me.

I am learning that I can't change others, only myself. I am learning to be openminded, although at times I still find that very difficult.

( I sometimes still want to force my opinion on others and shake them up a bit and want them to do things my way)

Different people do things in different ways and just because the way I have done things in my recovery have worked for me, doesn't mean they will work for others. I can only tell people what is working for me and let them decide for themselves.

So.... day by day I learn more things about me and try to work on the things I need to change.

My Higher Power is all around me, guiding me. I give all my Love to everyone who is on this road of discovery and recovery.

God Bless

Charly X 🙂

(((((Charly)))))

I am so happy to see the peace and joy in your last couple of posts! It makes me smile!

Sounds like your camping trip had a bit of Hurricane Ike wrapped up in it! LOL...

Sure, there are hard days in among the good ones, but learning to deal with them and move on is the key, and it sounds like you're there, sweetie. And, you're helping others along the way - fantastic! I'm so fortuante to count you among my friends.

Hopefully one day we, too, will meet! I'm determined to make it across that pond someday ....

Love ya,

Anna

Hi Charly,, im new here,, i have just finished reading your diary and wow.... took me 3 hours but soo blooming worth it girl..i have cried , laughed tears are streaming down my face right now.. god bless you.. i have pasted a paragraph from your diary from a few months ago that you posted

I can live and tackle today's problems without panicking and wanting to hide in my cocoon, my dream bubble.

I can't do anything about yesterday, it's gone. I can't do anything about tomorrow,it hasn't happened yet.

Today, I can do something about.

this is so true hun im glad you have enjoyed your holiday and i have really enjoyed reading your diary and have felt that you don't need too post on here every day now... just once a fortnight.... seems like you have your gambeling troubles totally behind you and steve is amazing you shud give him a big hug from me bless him and your son awww and your friends you have made on here im so glad for you hunni you have come a long way 5th june 07 since your last bet now thats gota be sumit good isnt it 🙂 tc hugs michelle xxx

Hiya Charly

Thanks so much for your lovely message. Made me feel that I'm heading in the right direction. So glad to hear that everything is going well for you, I loved your last post, very uplifting. I'll keep in touch.

Del x

evening girl xxx

Rodders 'e*e...

just to say..I'm doing fine...nearly got to 100..few days left xx...

would never have thought that poss a few months ago...n here I am...xx

hope things are fine for you.....

Rodders

Hi Diary

Am a bit exhausted at the moment but it's a happy feeling. It is my son's 21st birthday(27th Sep) and he's gone out with his friends. His sister(whose 23rd birhtday is next Wed,1st Oct) and her partner came down from Nottingham to celebrate with him. It's been a busy weekend so far and I've enjoyed every minute of it. Baked 2 cakes(1 Jack Daniels and 1 Amaretto), cooked their favorite dinners, cleaned ...blah blah... the usual stuff when you have a house full. I'm smiling as I'm writing this. It feels great to be able to spoil them every now and then.

Am sitting at this computer to keep myself awake as I have volunteered to be designated driver for the night. I took my lot to the place they were all meeting up and am now waiting for the phonecall to go and pick them all up and drop them off to their homes. It looks like I'll be doing two trips(and I have an 8 seater MPV) as there are 14 to take home.

And you know what.... it doesn't matter. I'd love to go to bed now as I was up until 01:30 last night to finish off my son's birthday cake(have finished my daughter's about an hour ago).

It'll be at least 03:00 until I can go to bed tonight. And the reason it doesn't matter is because....

When I gambled I often stayed up all night in front of the fruit machine, not caring about anything or anyone. Often I didn't leave the casino until 06:00 when they shut.

And more often then not my family tried to get in touch with me throughout the night to see if I'm safe and I had my phone switched off or on silent.

I didn't feel tired then or even if I did I ignored it becase the flashing lights were calling me.

As I can understand their worry about my safety much better now I have my head out of my backside(I used to tell them not to worry. I was old enough to look after myself)

I worry about them at this time of night when there are so many attacks and fights due to young people not being able to judge how much they can safely drink.

I rather pick them up and know they are safe.

Tomorrow we are all going to have lunch together before my daughter and her partner have to travel back to their home.

Then I will go to my G.A. meeting tomorrow evening which I'm looking forward to (I aalways do) It's my weekly top up to cope with the whole 7 days that follow.

Life is great and I'm very greatful to have been given the chance to turn my life around and I'm greatful to have so many people all over the world who share their experiences with each other. I take a lot from that and it helps me focuse on those things that I need to change within me for me.

If by reading my diary, I can help somebody else then I'm blessed.

I pray for all those who are still struggling and hope they will find their path soon.

God Bless

Charly

Hi Everyone

I have been reading diaries here and there over the past 2 weeks and have posted where I was inspired to do so.

I'm in a good palce now..I have admitted defeat and have left the'control'thing, so many talk about, behind me.

I am not in control of gambling. Gambling is controlling me.

Once I realised that. things began to change and fit into place.

Over the past 15 months I have learned so much about myself, about the way I used to think and about how I can change only me, not any other person on this planet.

By doing just that, my life has become good.

Things happen in life for a reason, I'm a firm believer of that. I do believe I was meant to go down the gambling road, if only to find G.A. and Gamcare. For both have enabled me to get my head out of the sand, start looking at me and start changing things about me that aren't good. I would have not changed in a million years if it wasn't for the tools I have been fortunate enough to receive.

Yesterday morning at work our whole finance office was told that it will be closed at the end of June 09. It was very upsetting for a lot of people, me included. Strangely enough, I didn't cry because of losing my job. I cried because of the unity within the office I work at. People there care about each other and that will be a big loss in my life when the doors finally close next June.

At the same time, I look forward to the new challenges life has in store for me.

For the past few months I have been worried about finding the money to enable me to take my family to Disney next year September. It's a promise I made to my now grown up children. I have never been able to take them on holiday and have promised to pay for the flights and the accommodation next year. This redundancy is a godsend really. I will receive a nice package at the end of June and my worries are worries no more. 🙂

You see, my Higher Power is working for me. No matter what happens, there is always something positive to take out of any given situation.

If this had happened when I was still gambling....well you all know what would happen to the payout.

I feel blessed. I wish all of you the strength to fight this desease and the courage to go down a new life's path.

God Bless

Charly x 🙂

Hiya Charly,

I too am a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and I too believe I was meant to go down the gambling road. Although a painful experience/ journey I have learnt some very valuble lessons.

In my recovery I have got to the root of a major problem I have about myself, and by knowing this, I can change, I can move forward and I'm excited about that. Otherwise I think I would have been going around in circles for the rest of my days.

I so relate to all you have said, and so glad to hear are in a good place....my best wishes to you and your family.

Del xxx