[Closed] Charly's life

thanks Charly for sharing your thoughts on my diary - I appreciate where you are coming from. I dont feel ready to let my wife read my personal stuff on here but will change my mind at some point. Just am glad that I am getting stuff out and clearing my head a little - so that I don't slip back into the demon days of gambling. You seem to be happier and winning the battle - taking it each day at a time - am proud of your belief in yourself and that you have the will to share your time with others. Bests JG

Hi Charly,

Many thanks indeed for your post on my diary.

Hope you are making a good recovery now, well 2 recoveries in fact both under way and sure they will be successfull.

That must have been an incredibly harrowing experience with your brother. To see someone so close to you slip away in such fashion and be unable to help is particularly heart breaking. But you should be proud to have known such a brother, keep forever the memory of your earlier days all the things that you learned from him will I amsure be put to good use in the future. He may be gone, but his legacy will live on in your life Charly (not just his name via your diary)

Hi Charly, thanks for your post on my diary. You have been a tower of strength to all since youve joined and theadvice you have been giving is spot on.

You obviously get a lot of strength from your GA meeting and the people connected with it and it shines through.

Wishing you continued best wishes and look forward to seeing you go from strength to strength. xx

Hi Charly

From a quick look at people replying on your diary, you are obviously someone who has been a real help to many and whose advice is very appreciated.

Im sorry i have not said hello sooner, had a real bad time of things lately but even so you took the time to post on my diary and i want to thank you for that, it was really appreciated, so thank you again.

I hope you are well and ok and hope to see you back posting soon

Stephen

hi charly, wondering how you are feeling now that the op is over??

hope that you are recovering nicely, and that we can hear from you soon just so we know that all is well for you

love

rusty

xx

Hi To Everyone

Thank you all for all the messages. You guyse had me in tears(happy ones of course)

It's good to know that, what little I can do, is helping others. Thanks again.

As you can see I'm back. The Op went well and I'm on the mend. Not sure if I should be back at work yet, but I got bored at home.

Daytime telly just isn't for me.

I'll write a bit more after work. I better get through the stacks of stuff I was sooo kindly left.

You all have a good day and I will post individually later.

God Bless

Charly

Hi Charly

Glad you are on the mend, you sond very much like me..In out of hospital and back to work as soon as..

Thaks for your post on my diary it got me thinking about what you said:

I sort my stuff out and you sort your stuff out - way of living. We had a tough weekend sorting things out together.

I think thats what we were doing slipping back into that frame of mind..In the past 5mths we have become a team and to be honest until your post I didn`t see it that way or accept it xx Cheers mate xxx

Take Care

Love

Lucy

xxx

Hi Charly,

Great to see you back....day-time telly, yes that will get you on your feet again double quick. Many years ago I was unemployed for 2 years...the telly was driving me daft (some would say I still am) but went to college for 3 years and never stopped working since.

Your support is invaluable to so many, your attitude is tremendous despite such suffering and an example to all.

Hi Charly. Great to see you back. I hope that you're not overdoing too much and taking time to rest a little!

After a week away from the forum sorting out my military separation, I finally had time to read through your story. I can't tell you how it touched me. Especially the part about your mom at the funeral home. I lost my mom when I was 12, and I can still remember exactly how she looked that day at the funeral home - peaceful, while all the world was in turmoil for those of us left without her.

You have shown remarkable strength in posting your story, and I'm so happy that you have a loving partner who is there by your side. Kepe moving forward toward that happiness, Charly. You deserve it!!

Love, Anna

Hi Guys and Girls

As they say(well somebody somewhere does)

If it doesn't rain, it pours.

Now I'm on the mend my Mum's in hospital.

Actually she went in for some tests the day before my Op, but I didn't expect her to still be there.

They have discovered that her blood count is low but don't know why, which in turn caused her heart to be enlarged so after testing all sort of stuff, today she had a bone marrow test. Not sure yet how that went. I have to give her a call when I'm home. Times like this I hate it that I'm so far away from her and my Dad. I'm in the UK and they are in Germany.

I know I'm very fortunate to still have both of my parents. They're both in their seventies and neither of them is very healthy. Dad had a massive heart attack about a year after my brother died and I thought I would lose him then. But he was strong and fought. Last year he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and they had to operate and take part of the muscle that controls the urine flow away, which means he's now constantly leaking. Not nice for him having to use pads. He's now just sitting around at home and has quit living, just waiting to be taken. But, as I keep telling him, he has quality of life. The doctors send him to rehab to learn excersises to rebuilt the muscle, but Dad needs to want to to this and it seems he doesn't. We went to their Golden Wedding Anniversary last November and Dad was almost his old usual self, joking and laughing with everyone and trying to keep us all laughing with his humour.My Mum and Dad remind me of the 2 old guys on the balcony in the Muppets.

I think they are keeping each other alive with their constant bickering(they usually do end up laughing about it).

Mum moans to me about Dad and Dad moans to me about Mum. It's quite funny, really.

If it's not one it's the other I worry about.

So there you go. Am glad I was able to off-load all this. I shall report tomorrow on how things are in Germany.

Have a good Evening

God Bless

Charly

Hi Charly

Great to see you back and posting , dont blame you for getting back to work quickly , im the same ! take it easy though , dont over do it too soon.

As you say, it never rains, Horrible when things just seem to happen all at once , hope your mum is ok , must be difficult being so far away from them.

Thank you for you kind words in my diary the other day , means so much to have so many people that really care and there are so many such people on here , we are all so lucky to have found each other.

Anyway , hope mum is back up in that balcony with dad soon (ha ha i loved those 2) and you make sure you take it easy yourself

All the best

Stephen

Dear Diary

How come that just when you think you have everything under control and you think things are going well, that something clobberes you over the head and drags you down into a black hole again. And then you wonder why life makes you cynical.

If I was still gambling, I think I would have given up this week and just let go of my life. I get so tired of fighting with life sometimes.

Last weekend my man and I sat down and worked out all out income and all our outgoings and noticed that things are very slowly getting better. Only to then get hit with more bills. I paid another of my credit cards off with my last wages which I was very pleased about. Only, the credit card company took out more then they should have. This put me in my overdraft. So when my direct debit for my car insurance came in there wasn't enough money in the bank to cover it. The bank then send the payment back and charged me ВЈ38 for the privilege. In between I went to my local shop to get items worth ВЈ1.98 to make a birthday cake. The payment went through so I thought I still had a bit of money in my account. I sorted out the overpayment with my bank. They put through an indemnity claim to reclaim my money. When I checked my account yesterday to see if that money has come in, to my horror, I found they had charged me another ВЈ35. I called them and they told me that this was for misuse of my card. Apparently I was already overdrawn, when I made my £1.98 purchase. I asked why then, didn't the transaction get refused? Apparently some shops have a minimum amount they let through.

Great, now I'm overdrawn by ВЈ69 and am sure the bank is going to charge me another £28 at the end of the month for being overdrawn. They are not reimbursing the charges. they say it's not their fault and I should get in touch with the credit card company which took out too much money in the first place.

Yeah and pigs might fly. To sum it up - for going overdrawn by ВЈ22.58 I am being charged a total of £101 this month.

If I could afford to pay that kind of money, I'd be a happy bunny.

At lunch time I'm going to check if the indemnity claim has been successful and the money has gone back into my account and then I'm going to call the credit card company and ask them what can be done. If they don't pay something back, I don't know what I'm going to do this month.

And then just when I thought things can't ge any worse, I received a letter form the water company saying I owe them ВЈ651. Have just called them and put a monthly payment plan into place. Fortuante me - as the credit card is paid off, I had £60 spare which is now going towards paying the water bill instead of easing my financial burden just that little bit. I don't know how long I can carry on like this. I know, if I hadn't gambles I wouldn't be in this position at all, but try as I might to get straightened out. It just doesn't seem to happen.

I'm so disillusioned at the moment and I don't know where to find the strength to pick me up.

Mum is still in hospital awaiting he results from her bone marrow test. Don't know what's going on there and what they are going to do.

I was looking forward to this weekend because my man and I are going to London to see Cirque du Soleil at the Albert Hall. But all the above has put a huge damper on things and I don't know if I can enjoy the weekend now, with all that on my mind.

CHarly

charly my only advice is myown experience and thats is that i would leave all my problems to my higher power to sort out. recovery is all about my higher power and living life without gambling and changing my personality to make me a better person. keep strong my dear friend and see you sunday x

Hello Charly,

"I get so tired of fighting with life sometimes." I remember feeling like this in the early days of Jim and My recoveries.

When you are working so hard at recovery sometimes it feels like you gain a step forward in your battles only to be forced back a few, it is so unfair.

Life is unfair sometimes... to everyone, not just people in recovery.

Charly you have such a lot on your plate at the moment and the extra worry about your Mum that its not surprising that you are feeling disillusioned at the moment.

You have also had surgery, you are tired, give yourself a break.

You mentioned in your post that last week you and your man noticed that financially things are very slowly getting better. Which means you are working in the right direction Charly.

Although you have just had the stool briefly kicked away from you with these extra charges etc. Not gambling means that you will pick up from this situation soon, just takes time.

It also shows how much 'money' really means to you nowdays... would you of worried about this 'amount' if you had been in 'action' ?

Anyway enough of my waffle! I read all of your diary last night. Thank you for sharing such an honest account of yourself and your history Charly. I wish you all the best in your recovery.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

Jackie

hi charly, sorry to hear about how tough things are for you at the moment. those bank charges are crippling, and no doubt it sticks in your throat that for ВЈ22 OD, you now are faced with £100 to pay back, especially when you are working so so hard to get back on track.

I hope that you can enjoy this weekend, you certainly need something at the moment to lift your spirits.

I wrote in my diary this week that i was feeling a bit like one of those rolly polly clowns, and feeling like i get knocked down to stand up only to get knocked down again. Wondering if that is what life is like, we are all a series of rolly polly clowns waiting to be knocked sideways or over. but i decided yesterday that so long as i am strong enough to stand up again then that is what counts. Think that we do have that ability and i am sure you have it too.

the higher power? well you know there is something in that. I remember reading in the bible once ( hundreds and hundreds of years ago now!) that we are never given anything to cope with that we do not have the power with in us to cope with. Over the years i have found that to be true. No matter how dark things are there is always are reason for it. Its called a life journey.

At the time it feels too hard, but on reflection days, weeks, months down the line we can see reason and purpose in what has happened, and often realise that the dark times make us stronger.

again, hope that trip to london has given you a breathing space

love

rusty

xx